Really, you are just utterly astounded by how shitty your IMAGINATION is. If your IMAGINATION was a face you would punch it. In the face.
Ace Dick is one of the main playable characters of the Problem Sleuth adventure.
AD is introduced in Problem Sleuth's "arch nemesis," and is the one who locked Problem Sleuth in his office before the beginning of the adventure by ordering some Busts-R-Us. However, he becomes a "playable character" in and later joins forces with Problem Sleuth against Mobster Kingpin.as
It is implied that Ace Dick was teased for being the fat kid at school, and his defensive mechanism toward this is to dance the Truffle Shuffle, from The Goonies. Somehow, this also works as an attack. Ace is not completely cruel and hard-boiled, and decides to end the silly feud he has had between himself and Problem Sleuth when Problem Sleuth frees him from his confinement of rope from some unscrupulous whores that he was trying to get services from. Ace's dream is to rule a city, and this comes true in the Game of Life, where he marries Wifehearst and begets Sonhearst.
Ace Dick's Statistics:
Ace Dick's attacks revolve around using his stout weight and his hearty Vim gauge. The most common, albeit the most absurd, is the Truffle Shuffle, where he lifts up his shirt and dances back and forth to defeat his enemies. Individually this attack has little use (and in fact gets Ace Dick killed in one scenario), but the more Ace Dicks that come into play, the more damage this attack deals. Ace Dick also has several moves that involve using his mouth.
AD is a tough customer that prefers violence rather than diplomacy, and solves many of his problems through the usual method of beating something to death, preferably with whatever is lying around, including fictional items used to express a stat, such as the Etiquette Monstrance. As a high Vim character, Ace Dick uses his great strength to solve problems. For example, he can wield many weapons that others cannot, such as the Machine Gun/Hairpin. One of his greatest weaknesses is that Ace has possibly the lowest Imagination stat in the universe, which tends to give him trouble in situations that require creativity.
Ace Dick's Fate:
Despite (or perhaps because of) his lack of imagination, Ace Dick has no problem accepting the weird puzzle shit and the fact that there are clones of him running around and helping him.
Ace's Ace in the hole is the Lvl. 99 Belly of the Whale in which he can absorb his alter egos Fiesta Ace Dick and Zombie Ace Dick. This causes a massive transformation, as each of the three's respective strengths are combined into one ultimate form. This new form has made him the strongest man in the world, able to easily close the door to the Afterlife after it had been opened and tugged by the force of BHMK. However, due to Ace's tremendously shitty Imagination, his ultimate form is exactly the same in appearance as his original self.
Li'l Ace DickEdit
Ace Dick's pathetic Imagination means that he is almost unable to fantasize anything interesting. So when he completes his Quest of Spirit he can't even cognize a female alter ego that is actually female. Hence, Ace Dick has an alter ego, referred to as Li'l Ace Dick, that is another copy of himself that goes around wearing a wig as if he is female. The wig eventually turns back into its Innocuous Double, a helmet, which he then wears for a short time to fight Mobster Kingpin. MK eventually uses Belly of the Whale and swallows LAD whole. LAD does get the last attack by detonating two grenades within MK's Stomach. The blast kills this version of Ace Dick.
Fiesta Ace DickEdit
FAD was created when one of the three Ace Dicks imbibed the Hot Sauce created in the Still Room. He gained a poncho as well as a sombrero. He quickly changed into his normal clothes because Despite the Spanish modifier in his name, Fiesta Ace Dick is perturbed by further ethnic references, including Death offering to let him break a piñata. Later on in the game, Fiesta Ace Dick pays no mind to the ethnic references and his perpetual frown is now a rather hard-boiled grin.
Fiesta Ace Dick's Statistics:
Because hot sauce increases Vim and this particular hot sauce is especially potent, Fiesta Ace Dick has a Vim stat far higher even than Ace Dick's, allowing him to use weapons with extraordinary encumbrance, move very heavy objects, and destroy busts with bratwurst like fingers. However, his pulchritude is very low, and he has no imagination to speak of. Fiesta Ace Dick has what is probably the largest Health Aegis in the game, the Frijole Aegis. He lost only three beans from an attack as powerful as the Cinder Ablockalypse, and has about a million more, making him practically indestructible.
Fiesta Ace Dick's Fate:
Despite his unimaginable strength, Fiesta Ace Dick perished and met Death when he was consumed by Mobster Kingpin's Extortion Combat Operandi. It allowed him to become Fiesta Mobster Kingpin. Fiesta Ace Dick is now in the imaginary world again, after Death, once again, failed to stop the dead from walking out the door back to imaginary life. Presumably, his Aegis is still intact, once again making him nigh invincible short of 1 hit kills. Before he could use his awesome Latin Vim again, he was sucked in by Ace Dick to allow Ace to become strong enough to shut Death's door.
This did not please the Demimonde Semigoddess, who had grown to like FAD. She eventually freed him and his friend and brought the two back to her island in the sky, where she had a baby with FAD. FAD was given a Greek headpiece to commemorate this occasion, which he had no problem with.
Corsair Dick is the nautical version of Ace Dick. He wears a JOLLY RANCHER FULL PLATE given to him by Future Pickle Inspector. He is quite protected by his armor. When attacked by the tentacles of Demonhead Mobster Kingpin, he holds up quite well with his Treacle Aegis, only losing a fraction of its overall power.
Zombie Ace DickEdit
Zombie Ace Dick is a normal Ace Dick that has turned into a zombie. This occurred while the two Ace Dicks were climbing the Cathedral of Syndetic Ascension with Problem Sleuth. One Ace Dick was jumped by the Zombie Hired Muscle and became an undead. Now a Zombie, Ace Dick became invulnerable to all attacks, Auto-Parrying everything by simply taking the damage. However, he is "borderline retarded and usually can't do anything other than bite things and absorb preposterous amounts of damage."
Zombie Ace Dick's Statistics:
Zombie Ace Dick shows small flashes of intelligence, as he is able to utilize "a maneuver made famous by an early 90s rap star" (which might be "The Shuffle," which he would already be doing regardless, or the beloved MC Hammer Slide) and can listen to simple commands, such as giving up weapons and using Combat Operandi.
Zombie Ace Dick's Fate:
His final attack, Check Yo'Self Jonah, gave him one final spotlight until, through his own actions, he was shot down by the Tootsie Roll Frankenstein, and ended up finally passing away with a character from Jailbreak.
He later escaped from the afterlife onto Demonhead Mobster Kingpin's hat along with the majority of the dead named characters when Death accidentally , but was subsequently convinced to get along with the others.
After Zombie Ace Dick escaped from Death's realm for a second time, Dark Matter Mobster Kingpin transformed into Black Hole Mobster Kingpin. Because Death's door led to the top of Demonhead Mobster Kingpin's hat, where BHMK was, Zombie Ace Dick was sucked into the vortex, where he was consumed by Ace Dick. A short while later, he was set free from the seemingly inescapable Afterlife by the Demimonde Semigoddess, who had come back to rescue Fiesta Ace Dick. He was employed on her island as a janitor, where he discovered a corpse with a rather succulent looking head. Seeing as how a zombie doesn't need much to be happy, Zombie Ace Dick stayed on the island until the end of the adventure.
Gummy Worm ZombieEdit
The Gummy Worm Zombie is Zombie Ace Dick's Gambit Schema. It is unclear how much of a difference there is between the Gummy Worm and regular varieties of Zombie, but it is uncontested that Gummy Worm Zombie Ace Dick has an extremely high Defense stat. Gummy Worm Zombie Ace Dick plays a crucial role in evoking Pang Nectar from Demon Mobster Kingpin by gnawing on DMK's Glumspine Flagellum. Gummy Worm Zombie Ace Dick's defense stat is so preposterous that he gains new Auto-Parry abilities each time he takes exorbitant amounts of damage. His defense stat does nothing for him as he finally falls prey to his derision placed upon him as being a zombie and uses the ill-fated Check Yo'Self Jonah Battle Technique.
Churlish Toff Edit
The Churlish Toff is the stout gentleman out of three Gentlemen found in Problem Sleuth. He looks an awful lot like Ace Dick. He doesn't seem to be interested in either of the ladies; his are in fact quite particular. Using his Opera Binoculeers, the Toff was able to climb onto the back of the Ham Truck and view part of the battle between Team Sleuth and DMK taking place high in the sky. He found this show to be . His attempt to aggress DMMK via stickball was a failure.
Battle Techniques Edit
- beasts. : Takes advantage of dead bodies and flings them into the air. While this does not sound very useful, it has been used in a couple of situations to placate hungry
- Elf Tear, Ace Dick swallows everything around into his enormous gut. With succeeding Victorious Moments Ace Dick gains the ability to hold more in his stomach. Ace Dick is not the only character to have this ability. : Using one
- Imagination to cover his shame. Individually this attack does nothing, however, it is far more effective combined with other Truffle Shuffles and is deadly against other tubby foes. : Lifting up his shirt and dancing back and forth, Ace Dick makes the best use of his
- Establish ______ by punching ______ in the snout: Ace Dick uses violence to express his emotions. Many commands use the preceding syntax to show how Ace Dick feels.
- Auto-Parry: Ace Dick by taking hits directly in the gut.
- Zombie Ace Dick has) Ace Dick summons a giant whale to ride and collides the whale into his target. : While Ace Dick has yet to use this (
- Ostentation Drive is maxed and there is another Ace Dick available, they can use their jiggling bravado to deal heavy damage to oversized foes. : When the
- Comb Raves filled. When used, the jiggling power completely destroys opponents. : Requires that three Ace Dicks are available and have
- : As a non-canon extra strip, Fiesta Ace Dick is seen as a chupacabra, even though he
- Combat Operandi -> Check Yo'Self Jonah: Zombie Ace Dick transforms into Zombie Corsair Dick by donning a new hat and equipping a harpoon. A large whale appears, which Zombie Ace Dick hoists himself up to with his harpoon. The whale then proceeds to attack Zombie Ace Dick's target by biting it.
- : Blowhole Swansong: time Belly of the Whale worked. In this attack Ace Dick absorbed Zombie Ace Dick and Fiesta Ace Dick while saving the nearby characters from destruction of the Afterlife. In the process, after combining the indestructibility of Zombie Ace Dick and the incomparable strength of Fiesta Ace Dick, he became... Ace Dick. His shitty Imagination caused his amazing superform to be exactly the same in appearance as he originally was. Despite /looking/ the same, he was able to idly close the door to the Afterlife despite it being sucked in by black hole gravity forces.
Ace Dick has five normal inventory slots to hold items, and his secondary container inventory option is his stomach (which has its own statistic, Stomach Capacity), which at one point held a key. His hat was carrying a Chipotle Pepper, which was used to make 5 Alarm Hot Sauce and transformed one of the Ace Dicks into Fiesta Ace Dick. His weapon of choice is the Machine Gun.
- It is an interesting fact that when there were three Ace Dicks, the "normal" Ace Dick was not the original, and was in fact his "female" alter ego. Sadly, it was impossible to determine whether Zombie Ace Dick or Fiesta Ace Dick were the original. This minor conflict is resolved when the normal Ace Dick absorbed the other Ace Dicks with a level 99 Belly of the Whale, morphing the three into a single, unimaginative, Ace Dick.
- Because of their combined Vim, the new Ace Dick is able to lift the Megaton Key, as only the strongest man ever is able to lift it.
- Fiesta Ace Dick made a cameo in Homestuck, appearing in the for the Midnight Crew, apparently riding a piano like a mechanical bull.
|Problem Sleuth Characters|
|Team Sleuth|| Problem Sleuth - Ace Dick - Pickle Inspector|
Hysterical Dame - Nervous Broad
|Four Kingdoms|| Elves - Hogs - Weasels - Clowns|
|Villains||Mobster Kingpin - Madame Murel - Demonhead Mobster Kingpin|
|Deities||Death - Godhead Pickle Inspector - Demimonde Goddess - The Devil|
|Allies||The Whale - Candy Mecha - Hearst - Hired Muscle - Honeybee Professor|
|Minions||Beasts - Whores - Thugs - Worker Bees - Courtesan Angels|
|Non-Canon|| Midnight Crew (Spades Slick - Diamonds Droog - Hearts Boxcars - Clubs Deuce)|
Laborer Wasps - Professor Wasp - Zombie Astronaut - Little White Cat - Fuzzy Man Bear and Sarah