|RIDICULOUS FOLLY. INEXCUSABLE.|
|Even though sloppy is fine, it might be a bit of a good idea to arrange this particular page because, to be quite frank, as it is right now, it is just absolute garbage. Here's some detail: Information on personality and relationships need to be added.|
Parcel Mistress, Prospitian Monarch
Regular syntax and grammar.
Wayward Vagabond - Best Friend(?)
Mail fraud, Bec Noir
The Peregrine Mendicant is a rag-wrapped desert wanderer who lives in the year 2422. She is an Exile, like the Wayward Vagabond. Before she was exiled, she was the Parcel Mistress. Her first appearance was in Act 2. She pushes a cart full of mailboxes as she is a devotee of mail and mail delivery, having a fervor for mail similar to WV's obsession with democracy as the mayor of Can Town. Unlike the Wayward Vagabond, she can type in an intelligent manner; she also shows a decent understanding of Time shenanigans, such as when she understands that she has to send John the message telling him to carve the tablet that she received in the past.
All exiles each have multiple titles composed of two words. The first and second words of each title start with the same letter. Commands for an exile's past self begin with a question mark (?). The Peregrine Mendicant is also known as the Parcel Mistress and the Prospitian Monarch. The phrase "Peregrine Mendicant" is very similar in meaning to "Foreign Beggar".
As Parcel MistressEdit
A member of the light kingdom, Parcel Mistress is sworn to delivering letters. She was first seen by Dream Jade during Act 3. She is formally introduced in Act 4 on the Land of Wind and Shade when she runs into Authority Regulator and notices he holds Jade's package to John, which she must deliver. She receives John's Minitablet carved with the Sburb server disc, which the Authority Regulator also has. She decides that it is her duty to retrieve them both, and so approaches the Authority Regulator in a diplomatic manner. The Authority Regulator finds the Parcel Mistress attractive, but mistakes her for a native of the land. She asks for the packages, but he only relinquishes the Sburb disc after she shows him the tablet. She places the disc in the Parcel Pyxis, and then decides to follow the Authority Regulator to try and get the green package back.
On Derse, she finds Jack Noir holding the package. He refuses to give it to her because he is too lazy to process the paperwork. Instead, he offers her a hilariously lopsided bargain, that turns out not to be--the White King's and Queen's crowns in exchange for the package, and gives her a Regisword to complete the task. She leaves and reports this to the White Queen, who seems to know how important the package is, as she gives up her ring and crown, and orders the Parcel Mistress to go to the battlefield in Skaia to retrieve the White King's as well. The Courtyard Droll pickpockets the ring from her, but Dream Jade recovers it. Oblivious, she takes a shuttle for Skaia.
On the Battlefield, she reaches the White King, who abdicates and gives her his scepter (while the Hegemonic Brute watches). The Hegemonic Brute then proceeds to punch the Parcel Mistress in the face and knock the scepter from her hands, where it falls into a riverbed. She defends herself to a lethal degree by using her Regisword to decapitate the Hegemonic Brute. She grabs his radio to arrange a meeting with Jack Noir, the Sovereign Slayer.
At some point in the future, she becomes exiled to earth and becomes the Peregrine Mendicant. To differentiate her from her future self, commands given to her are preceded by "PM?" instead of "PM."
As Peregrine MendicantEdit
She found the large, spherical Helipod Base which grew from the White Tree at the location of John's meteor impact. When one of the Sentry Worms began eating one of her mailboxes, she mercilessly decapitated it with her Regisword. PM entered the pod's main hatch and found her way to a monitor and keyboard identical to the one in the Skyship Base. She stacked mailboxes to reach the keyboard and commanded the pod to fly back to its home location.
The pod lifted took off and headed westward, towards the Wayward Vagabond's location on Jade's island. She accessed the computer while in flight to view a blurred vision of Jade brandishing her rifle on-screen. She recognized Jade from back when she was the Parcel Mistress, but upon trying to give her commands, the console exploded because she interrupted a conversation between Jade and Becsprite. She was not badly injured, however, and one of the other Worms rescued a mailbox that had fallen out.
Upon arriving, she received John's package to Jade from WV, and with his help reached the Deappearifier in the Helipod Base to send it to the coordinates specified by Jade's direction while under fire from the Aimless Renegade. Afterwards, the confusion was cleared up, and they all became friends. WV introduced her to John, whom she also recognized from Prospit. She commanded him briefly, completing a mission she began years prior as the Parcel Mistress. They were then joined by the Windswept Questant. WV and AR created a crown for WQ, finding her attractive, but WQ gave it to PM for fulfilling her mission, making her the monarch of Exile Town.
As Prospitian MonarchEdit
Her first decision was to appoint a royal advisor, namely the former White Queen. During this she also made the sun symbol the royal insignia of her kingdom. Her advisor then informs her that her role as the new queen will be bringing Jack Noir to justice, and rebuild her kingdom in a new land.
Following this, her adviser is brutally murdered, along with all of her other allies, except for WV who was greviously wounded. She then swears vengeance and prototypes herself with WV's ring, transportalizing with his corpse into the troll's Incipisphere, to which Jack Noir has escaped. Jack Noir displays surprise/fear for the first time, as well as a bit of romantic feelings, while PM seems to be in a deep hate. Noir absconds immediately, and PM looks on, while Serenity pleads PM to help the dying Vagabond. Able to see the trolls and kids at the Green Sun, she uses her prototyped self as a portal to transport WV to the players, hoping they will be able to aid him.
As of horrorterrors near where PM and Bec Noir were battling. They stop entirely, looking at each other with a profound sense of disbelief and powerlessness while they survey the damage. Shortly afterwards, she continues attacking the now shaken Jack, who flees into a dream bubble. He eludes her temporarily, but she catches up to him in the midst of his battle with John Egbert. She continues chasing him for the next year, until eventually they arrive in the B2 session.a dream bubble has been destroyed, very likely damaging paradox space and killing many
PM and Bec arrive on LOFAF shortly after Jade is killed. Loyal to her because of Becquerel's prototyping in their rings, Bec picks her up and they refuse to give up her body to Dave and Jane, dodging Jane's attempt to revive her with Life powers. In an attempt to distract them into dropping Jade, Jane Gcat. However, PM and Noir take Jade with them when chasing after GCat, who runs off into the forest around the volcano. Dave flies after them to return Jade's body for Jane to revive.
PM and Noir fly to Jade's Quest Bed, and there battle Dave for her body. He fights for a while, but is ultimately killed by them, impaled from the front by PM and the back by Noir, resulting in a heroic death. However, this all occurred within a doomed timeline.
In the new timeline created by John, the chase resumes and continues until the two reach the remains of Prospit. There, Noir stops running away, and decides to finally confront PM. The two begin to battle, until Jade interrupts them. Jade attempts multiple times to get the two to stop fighting, but to no avail. Eventually, Jade gets in between the two to force them to stop fighting. This stops Jack from fighting, but PM refuses to back down. She punches Jade in the face and knocks her to the ground. She then slices off Bec Noir's arm, causing him to lose the ring and revert back into Jack Noir. She howls in victory. PM then removes her ring and, together with WV, throws both rings into the Forge to ignite it.
Wayward Vagabond Edit
WV initially met and befriended PM when they crossed paths during their time in exile, and they appeared to become close friends. During their time spent with the Aimless Renegade, it became apparent that WV harbored some level of romantic feelings for her, as he tried to win her over with gifts. After PM found WV injured, PM donned the Queen's ring and teleported him to the meteor crew in a desperate bid to save him. The pair reunited later in Act 6 and are suggested to be matesprits.
Jack Noir Edit
PM and Jack first met when she found Jack Noir holding the package. Jack Noir makes an offer where he would give the package in exchange for the White King and Queen's ring. After she is exiled she once again meets Jack Noir prototyped in Cascade when he murders WQ, WK, AR and injures WV. She takes the ring WV was holding and follows Jack Noir in hopes of avenging her friends.
Aimless Regenade Edit
AR first encountered PM when AR blew up a bit of her base. Later on when PM tries to get back to her base while AR struggles to shoot her since he found her attractive. He accidently moves his aim to her base and blows up another part.
- PM uses a sword, while her charge, Jade Harley, uses a gun. AR uses a gun, while his charge, Dave Strider, uses a sword.
- Her initials PM, coincidentally also stand for Private Message, which has a relation to mail. (Or alternatively, Post Master)
- Her ascension to queen-hood represents how a pawn in chess may be promoted to another piece (usually a queen). Andrew Hussie has confirmed that her putting on the ring and getting prototyped does in fact reference this. The fact that her prototyping happens during The Scratch is symbolic of the fact that pawns usually don't make it to the end of the board until the end-game.
- Just before she puts on the mailman's cap, she finds a letter addressed to Dr. David Brinner. The novella (later adapted into a movie) "The Postman," which has as its central character a post-apocalyptic survivor who finds a mailbag and a postal uniform and decides to deliver the mail, was written by David Brin, who does in fact have a Ph.D.
- PM is depicted on the "Five of Pentacles" card of the Homestuck Tarot Deck. She is also the "Page of Pentacles" , perhaps because the card translates as someone who is hands on and hard working like PM herself.