Paradox Space

A QUEST OF FUTILITY THEN.

This page may not be done in a while - or ever, until the game that this page is related to has been beaten.
Please keep coming back to and updating it.

For the reality in which Homestuck takes place, see paradox space.

Paradox Space, often stylized as PXS, is a sister project to MS Paint Adventures that was launched on April 13, 2014, to celebrate Homestuck's fifth anniversary. The site will feature many comics that detail unseen events in paradox space and hypothetical "what if?" scenarios. The canonicity of Paradox Space comics has been addressed by Hussie as follows:

For any given story, it is either "Definitely Not Canon" or "Possibly Canon". But no story should ever be regarded as "Definitely Canon", unless Homestuck itself confirms those events retroactively in some manner.

The launch of Paradox Space boasted six pages in one day, and the subsequent standard schedule has been set as one page per weekday. As of May 12th, 2014, occasional "2X UPDATE COMBO WEEKS" will occasionally occur, wherein there will be two pages every weekday, with the two pages going up at different times.

As of 5/16/2014, Paradox Space uses a tag system to give credit to the artists and writers, as well as to categorize story pages and make yet more side jokes that could not be covered with alt text.

Stories

1. "You Have a Feeling It's Going to Be a Long Day" (6 pages, written by Andrew Hussie, art by Zack Morrison) It is someone's birthday today.
   John wakes up on the morning of his thirteenth birthday, goes about his daily morning routine, and accidentally steps in a cake his dad had just left outside the door of the bathroom. John blows out the candles, reminiscent of his Breath powers. The Paradox Space title drop is then shown.
2. "Headed for Stardom" (3 pages, story and art by Jonathan Griffiths, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A young troll holds a talent competition.
   Gamzee throws a JUGGALICIOUS TALENT CARNIVAL, encouraging the severed heads of his dead friends to impress him, with gold star stickers (AKA "glitter biscuits" and "pointy-ass glam badges") as motivation. Tavros wins, obviously, thanks to his impressive personal talents.
3. "John's Birthday" (2 pages, story and art by KC Green) It is John's birthday. He went to the zoo.
   John is celebrating his birthday at a zoo, and he approaches Dave with concerns about monkey-on-monkey violence. Dave berates him for thinking of the most non-random "random thing" possible. It then turns out that John was telling the truth.
4. "Prototyped" (7 pages, story and art by Zack Morrison, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A young boy prototypes his kernelsprite.
   John captchalogues two fanciful harlequins, sending glass shards flying at his birthday present. Unlike in the alpha timeline, John then captchalogues a third harlequin, sending the PDA flying and knocking off the harlequin's other arm. As a result, whenever Jack Noir tries to put on the Black Queen's Ring, both of his arms disappear and the ring falls off immediately afterwards. Realizing that they're in a doomed timeline, the kids decide to go watch a movie.
5. "A Fun Day for Bec" (2 pages, story by Rachel Rocklin, art by Matt Cummings, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Bec has a fun day.
   Becquerel teleports around the world and fetches a number of balls and other sports equipment, which he brings back to Jade's house. After completing his sports pile, Bec goes upstairs and falls asleep next to Jade; oblivious to his activities, she calls him lazy.
6. "Critical Miss" (6 pages, story by Benito Cereno, art by Kristin Kemper, lettering by J.N. Wiedle.) Two trolls enjoy a friendly game.
   Vriska and Eridan engage in a game of Flarp aboard their respective vessels. To board Eridan's ship, Vriska rolls a very lucky number 20 on her dice roll. Eridan is not as fortunate and rolls a 1 in return, summoning a "critical whale." The whale starts putting Eridan down, which distracts him. Vriska uses this opportunity to make a quick move, which Eridan seems to think may have been a cheating one. She then demands he hand over his slaves, which are revealed to be real live lowbloods playing the role of slaves on Eridan's ship. Vriska apparently plans to feed them to her lusus. Eridan misinterprets Vriska's powergaming attitude as caliginous flirting, and offers to play along in exchange for a hatesnog, Vriska is shocked, disgusted and infuriated, attacking Eridan with the Fluorite Octet and destroying his ship, leaving him floating on a chunk piece of the hull while the whale continues to chastize him.
7. "Con Faire" (9 pages, story and art by David McGuire, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) It's a talent show!
   At the Teen Con Air Finals, a contest to see which teens can best reenact the ending of Con Air, John is excited to be a competitor. Karkat is not happy to be there, complaining about having to watch the same "godawful" scene so many times, but Roxy and Terezi mock his disdain. After completing her act, Vriska arrives backstage and shoves John into Karkat, claiming that no one will be able to beat her. John scoffs at her bragging, saying that he and Roxy will win because they have true love of the movie. Roxy admits she's never seen it, then reassures him by saying she'll wing it. The pair go on, and Terezi encourages them by saying "BREAK YOUR LEGS, GUYS! BREAK ALL OF THEM!!!" As John recites all of his character's lines verbatim without breaking character, Roxy becomes gradually more embarrassed and self conscious about her improvisation attempts. Before this progression comes to a head, John abruptly stands up, realizing he missed a line, and cries while embracing Roxy. The two leave the stage and he cheerily asks Karkat and Terezi how they did, and in response the two exchange offput glances before Karkat loudly informs John that "IT WAS CRAP!!!!!" Roxy is hopeful that this means she and John will win best comedy performance, but Terezi dashes their hopes by pointing out that nobody was laughing. Wayward Vagabond is revealed to be the judge, and he awards the grand prize of the house cup and an autographed soundtrack CD to the "evil team": Vriska, Caliborn, Lil Cal, and Lil Seb, for having the most technically accurate portrayal. WV then abruptly takes back the prize and awards the "stupid team" (John, Roxy, and Casey) an additional six billion points for their pure-hearted love of Con Air, making them the new winners of the grand prize.
8. "Deadline Day" (4 pages, story by Matt Boyd and art by Ian McConville) A newspaper tries to stay in business.
   Two Dersites are trying to work on an article for "The Enquiring Carapacian", but nothing had happened that day. They suggest a number of weak stories, and begin to panic as they've clearly run out of ideas. Just as they've given up, a fiery beam appears in the sky above and destroys Derse's moon. Once they realize what has happened, the two Dersite journalists begin to celebrate because they finally have a news story to write about.
9. "A Fun Day for GCat" (2 pages, story by Rachel Rocklin, art by Matt Cummings) GCat has a fun day.
   A sequel to "A Fun Day for Bec." God Cat teleports around the world, hunting and killing a number of animals. Jane gets home from school to find GCat resting ontop of a lump on her bed, which she discovers is a pile of the animals GCat killed (as well as a potted cactus, a snowman and some potatoes).
10. "Quality Time" (8 pages, story by Andrew Hussie, art by Hanni Brosh, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A father takes his son shopping.
    Dad and John are on a shopping trip, and John has become extremely bored after spending five hours at the Dadly Depot. John asks if he can borrow Dad's PDA, claiming that he wants to look up nose hair trimmer prices online, and when he gets it he boots up Pesterchum and asks Dave to help him. Dave calls John's situation a "bogus dad crisis" and expresses jealousy of taking trips to the Dadly Depot, as his Bro (who is clearly not his father) only takes him to brajstop. Dave goes on to describe the typical brajstop store to John, which includes many Bro-related items. Dave then remarks that Bro always left him in the ball pit room - except there weren't any balls in there. Dave elaborates that Bro left him in a concrete pit in the floor, where Dave would lie alone with his thoughts, making "bored noises". He claims it builds character, in theory, and suggests John's Dad might be trying to do a similar thing by bringing John to the Dadly Depot. After Dave excuses himself from the conversation by stating that the beats won't drop themselves, John Runs up to Dad and tells him that the nose hair trimmer is a steal. As Dad is loading his NOSE WIZARD into the cart John, asks if he could have one too, and Dad grabs him the nose wiz jr!
11. "Fetch Quest" (7 pages, story by Phil Gibson, art by Evan Dahm) A parcel mistress fetches the mail.
    Parcel Mistress is collecting a package on LOWAS. The salamander asks for a gear in exchange for it, so she makes her way to LOHAC. Once she finds what she is looking for, she helps to roll it off the tail of a crocodile. She inquires as to whether she can take the gear, and the crocodiles first demand an ice cube (containing a flower within) from LOFAF for the injured one's tail. Once on LOFAF, she sees a local iguana try to obtain one of said ice cubes and fail, falling over. She asks if she can take one of the ice cubes, but the iguana request a jar of sand from LOLAR from her. She arrives on the planet, asking some nearby turtles for a jar of sand, but they appear to be preoccupied with worry, fear, or confusion. They are next seen shaking martinis on the engraved tablet ordering PM to fetch the gear, while she runs off in the background with a jar of sand. She brings this sand to LOFAF to ease the slippery ice slope for the iguana, brings the ice to LOHAC for the crocodile's tail, and brings the gear to LOWAS, where the salamander has used it as a planter. PM then delivers the box to the White Queen, who opens it and hands it to PM, the gift being a brand new golden mail bag with a thank you note attached to it.
12. "Summer Sea Fun" (1 page, story and art by KC Green) FUN in the SUMER SEA SUN
    Sweet Bro is swimming in the ocean, engage in all its deep, mind-rending, third-eye-opening wonders. After he has had his fill of taking in the deepest secrets of the universe, he opens a clam on the ocean floor, intending to claim its pearl for himself. It opens up to reveal Hella Jeff waiting inside, who reveals he robbed the clam first. What he did with the pearl is currently unknown. We may never know.
13. "Hunting Lesson" (3 pages, story by Phil Gibson and art by Adrienne Garcia) A hunting lesson between two young trolls.
    Nepeta is showing Equius how to hunt on LOLCAT. She jumps playfully into the air at an imp before kicking it very hard in the face. The imps are all visibly frightened, as they should be. Nepeta then calls back telling Equius it's his turn. He starts charging an underling who looks very frightened. As it is launched into the distance and blown up by a punch from Equius, Nepeta suggests keeping the prey near them next time.
14. "Togy Hawk Pro Skator" (1 page, story and art by KC Green) Grind kickflip halfpipe rad tubular skagetboarg
    Sweet Bro is skateboarding and puts one foot off the board to push off and give himself more speed. As he does so, his leg gets caught in one of the wheels; alarmed, he looks behind him and sees that his leg has been stretched out to ludicrous lengths. He then slowly turns his head back around.
15. "Ace Sleuth Jane" (1 page, story and art by David McGuire, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) An Ace Sleuth solves a Mystery
    Jane attempts to find out who has eaten her sandwich and begins a detailed investigation, examining the plate with a magnifying glass, collecting crumbs as evidence, surrounding the "crime scene" with police tape and interrogating GCat. Dirk then walks over and admits that he felt guiltier about eating Jane's sandwich before she started playing detective.
16. "Party Crashers" (8 pages, story by Rachel Rocklin and Kory Bing, pencils by Kory Bing, colors by Matt Cummings, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A consort finds a book.
    A few consorts from each planet sit in a circle on the balcony of Rose's house on LOLAR, tired and bored. A turtle and crocodile mention Rose and Dave respectively, and their attention is grabbed when another turtles runs into the scene, tripping and dropping the book it was carrying, which appears to be a guide for throwing tea parties. Intrigued, they all set to work: a crocodile lays out the blanket, a salamander carries in various teapots and tea products (including a teapot resembling those from LOLCAT), another crocodile starts a fire, and a turtle collects some water. They lay out the tea set according to a diagram, including Void coasters, a grists coaster, and a teapot with all the aspect symbols on it. Once they finish setting up a group of underlings appear. The consorts are understandably afraid, but the underlings seem taken aback by this. One of the iguanas asks if they are going to die, and the lich among the group assures them this is not the case. Instead, they immediately grab some cups, sit down, and join the tea party.
17. "Nak Worth" (1 page, story by Phil Gibson, art by J.N. Wiedle) Just a regular day on LOHAC.
    Two Crocodiles are discussing the viability of a company on the LOHAC Stock Exchange, but are cut off by the bell signifying the market is open for trading. Just as suddenly as it opens, it closes again; when the dust settles from all the frantic buying and selling, we see one of them has lost their shirt. They then muse about how fortunate it is that they didn't end up like Dave, who is crying about being boiled in a cauldron with onions, carrots and peppers.
18. "Suffering Through/For the People" (2 pages, story by Zack Morrison, pencils by EK Weaver, colors by Adrienne Garcia) A prophet tries to talk with his people.
    The Sufferer answers questions from members of an assembled crowd while the Disciple and Ψiionic cheer him on. He explains that one cannot jokingly "do a genocide" and that the Condesce forcing her subjects to prostrate themselves before her image does not make her a good leader. Another member of the audience - an indigo-blooded troll wearing a beaglepuss - asks how susceptible the Sufferer's faction is to infiltration, poorly concealing his own status as an imperial spy. Signless is bombarded with questions about his sign and blood color, prompting the Ψiioniic to flip out and attack the crowd with his psionic powers. While the Disciple calms him down, the Sufferer proposes a five minute for snacks, claiming that his mother made cookies. The Ψiioniic is put into time out and the Disciple comforts the Signless.
19. "Pones" (2 pages, story and art by KC Green) POney
    Sweet Bro is playing with a toy pony when Hella Jeff notices him and asks if he likes ponies. Increasingly excited, Hella Jeff exclaims that he also likes ponies and quickly dons a pantomime horse costume, noting that he has needed a second person to be the "ass" for a long time, and asks his "pony bro" Sweet Bro to get inside. Sweet Bro sighs and says that the correct term for "pony bros" is bronies; Hella Jeff briefly pauses before furiously demanding that Sweet Bro "GET THE FUCK IN THIS ASS."
20. "A Fun Day for Jaspers" (1 page, written by Rachel Rocklin, art by Allison Shabet, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Jaspers has a Fun Day.
    The comic starts off with Rose playing as Jaspers's psychologist, back when she was a little kid. Jaspers's head becomes layered above the speech bubbles, implying that he is not paying attention/has no idea what Rose is saying. This is re-enforced by the next panel, where the text turns into meaningless shapes and symbols. Nonetheless, Jaspers is very happy just to be with Rose, and so the comic ends.
21. "Killswitch ENGAGE" (4 pages, story and art by P.Gibson, colors by Mallory Dyer, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A troll requires technical assistance.
    Equius begins trolling Sollux, asking for help. Sollux refuses, but Equius convinces Sollux to help him by stating that the refusal would force him to rely on Karkat. Sollux asks Equius what exactly he broke, but it turns out that he has broken nothing, and attempting to break anything makes the situation worse. The viewport shows him tangled up in various cords and wires. Sollux makes it clear that he cannot program anything to help him out of physical problems. Equius keeps demanding help, so Sollux hacks into the robots around Equius, and sets them to kill mode. Equius fights them off, losing the wires, some teeth, and one of his horns in the process. John's arm is seen in the robo-crowd, likely due to it's travel through canonspace. Equius thanks Sollux for his help, and has his Lusus provide a glass of milk. The glass shatters in Equius's hand and he hisses.
22. "Hand Made in Alternia" (1 page, story and art by P.Gibson, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) An excellent host turns to his young ward for help with preparing refreshments for guests.
    Doc Scratch welcomes the reader to his house, stating he would offer candy if the treats were not preoccupied. He points out that the Handmaid, is organizing the cache to keep the treats in constant supply. He asks if she is on schedule, She gets angry, as she is pretty much forced to work there, and isn't getting much thanks. She draws a penis on his "face" and he states that fortunately, he does not make permanent marker available to her. She is tied to a chair, probably as punishment.
23. "Indemnity Double Reacharound" (5 pages, story by Benito Cereno, art by John Keogh, lettering by J.N Wiedle, additional art by David McGuire) NO SUMMARY
    Berrybreath is a scalemate detective for hire, but it would seem that lately business has been slow, however Liason Pumpkinsnuffle comes in on behalf of Senator Lemonsnout to hire Berrybreath to investigate the murder of the senators wife, Professor Pucefoot ruled the death an accident but the senator suspects foul play, Doctor Honeytongue, a former military medic and forensic expert, makes it clear he thinks the senator did it. Naturally Berrybreath takes the case, first they visit Pucefoot who confirms that in his expert opinion the death was accidental, but Honeytonge remains convinced that the senator killed his wife and paid off Pucefoot. Berrybreath next visits Duke Pinesnort who admits to having had relations with the senator's wife. He then goes to confront the senator at his hive, the senator greets them with a bag filled with beetles and congratulates Berrybreath for solving the case and inquired if Pinesnort was behind it, and then Berrybreath finds Lemonsnouts insurance policy, it reads: one accidental death good for 2 huge bags of insurance beetles, the senator insists the bag is unrelated but Berrybreath is reaching for his nooses to hang all of them. and in a surprise twist this is actually all just Dave and Terezi playing in Can Town with the mayor while riding the meteor to the new session.
24. "The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse" (4 pages, story by Mary Borsellino, art by Magnolia Porter, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Two friends visit each other's dream homes.
    Dream Rose visits Dream Jade in her room and examines one of Jade's manthro chaps. Rose makes a comment about rarely seeing them outside of pornography. Jade then begins showing Rose around on Prospit. First they pass a couple of Skaian clouds - that may or may not have been visible to Rose as a Derse Dreamer, showing John and Dave getting up to shenanigans. Then they walk among the Prospitians, and while Rose is not sure about whether or not she is correctly dressed, Jade quickly assures her that she is. After this, they encounter the Parcel Mistress who hugs both of them. Unlike Jade, Rose doesn't believe the hug was sincere and tries to find a hidden motive where there is none. Jade then suggests that Rose shows her around on Derse instead. On Derse, Rose shows Jade a Dersite book titled: "How to get ahead in business by STABBING." Jade makes a comment about the lack of light, leading Rose to assure her that it's all part of the mood. Later, when playing the Dersites' version of the game "snap," Jade calls out a player on cheating. Rose absconds out of the room with Jade, and tries to explain to her that that's how the game is meant to be played. The two then proceed to argue about the "stupidity" of each other's planets. They both calm down and agree to disagree. Jade asks Rose about the "niche pornography" Rose says to "ask Dave about that one."  
25. "Her Pale Passions" (1 page, story and art by P.Gibson) A goddess seeks advice from a book.
    A drunk Rose walks into the main computer lab on the meteor, while Kanaya is knitting a shirt. She reveals that she has brought a couple of romance textbooks for them to study and shows one of them, titled "Her Pale Passions". Kanaya examines the cover of the book and looks at the inside, seeing notes made by Karkat. She realizes that Rose took these books from Karkat. At the same time, Karkat notices that a lot of his romance books, which were alphabetized by quadrant, have gone missing and finds a note made by Rose. He flips out at this revelation.
26. "Can Town in Trouble" (5 pages, story by Bea Munos, pencils by Kristin Kemper, colors by Adrienne Garcia) Can Town is in Trouble!
    The Mayor of Can Town is putting some finishing touches on one of the town's buildings. The Aimless Renegade walks into the room, in need of food. He stomps through the town, trying to select a can to eat from. Serenity (as a citizen of Can Town) watches in horror, considering AR to be a Godzilla-esque beast. AR steals a can from the bottom of a skyscraper, causing the whole thing to collapse, much to the dismay of the Wayward Vagabond (Mayor). WV yells at the AR for destroying the structure. AR kicks one of the cans on the ground in response. Serenity is again terrified, seeing it as another destroyed building. It also upsets WV, this time to the point of storming out and informing the Peregrine Mendicant of the situation. She looks intimidatingly at AR. During a chase scene with PM angrily after AR, and WV worriedly after PM, Serenity surveys the damage of Can Town as the Windswept Questant appears and begins rebuilding, Serenity comparing her to some sort of goddess.
27. "Night at the 100dseum" (10 pages, story by Jonathan Griffiths, art by Mallory Dyer) Two young trolls experience high art.
    Equius is waiting in front of a museum for his robots to bring Karkat and Terezi there. When they are dropped there, he greets them. Equius thanks them for accepting his invitation. Karkat remarks that they were not so much invited as kidnapped. Terezi smells a very large musclebeast statue, and Equius welcomes them both to the Fle%tropolitan Nudeseum. Inside the Nudeseum, Equius explains how great it is, and that he has no one to share it with. He also states that he has chosen the lowbloods because they are obligated to comply to his wishes, and therefore cannot refuse sharing this with him. Terezi tries to convince Karkat to stay, but he still refuses. Terezi remains high-spirited until Equius mentions that the building is on lockdown, causing Karkat to foam at the mouth. Terezi proposes that they destroy property until Equius forces them to leave. Karkat decides to just get it over with. He dives headfirst into the museum, hoping to "DROWN IN A PUDDLE OF 'ART!'" Equius shows them throughout the various sections of the Nudeseum, Terezi messes with property, and Karkat barely keeps his sanity. With Karkat close to losing it, Terezi complains about not getting kicked out yet. Equius explains that the reason for this is that neither of them appreciate the art so far. He decides to settle it by showing them an art piece that he had reserved for the highbloods: an actual lusus sealed in a block of its own frozen sweat. Terezi snaps and decides that breaking the ice is a good revenge scheme. Equius protests against it. The beast is predictably still alive once the "ice" is broken, and it roars. Equius hisses at it while Karkat and Terezi escape through the clearly unlocked doors. The beast tackles Equius, and they both land outside near Karkat and Terezi. The beast drools on Equius, and ends up breaking his horn. Equius demands a towel, but instead, Karkat and Terezi walk away from Equius and the beast. Equius bans them permanently from the Nudeseum, which is a deal Karkat and Terezi are happy with.
28. "Soul-fraying Games" (5 pages, story by Alex Rofael, art by Rennie Kingsley) A group of kids prepare to have an adventure of the role-playing sort.
    Terezi has set up a role-playing game, implied to be Dungeons and Dragons, with Karkat, Rose, Kanaya, Dave, and WV. Karkat complains from the outset, apparently annoyed by the fact that they will literally be in a dungeon, literally encountering dragons. Terezi, being the game master, refutes Karkat's complaints, which prompts him to question who made her game master. Meanwhile, WV goes around offering snacks to everyone, to no avail. Rose cites Terezi's role-playing experience for making her the logical choice. Kanaya comments on having read the whole rulebook, while Dave remarks he thought they would figure it out as they played. Everyone agrees a dungeon is a rather droll setting, and Terezi changes it to the belly of a dragon. Karkat continues to complain, namely on Dave "stealing" his title of knight, Kanaya offers a way for them both to be knights, which he refuses, and Terezi shuts him up, telling him to use the backup character sheet she prepared. Dave is a neutral good dwarven knight, Karkat is a "TRU3 N3UTR4L H4LF-UND34D H4LF-UN34T3N CR4B S4NDW1CH" (Karkat is about to complain, but bites his tongue), Rose is a chaotic evil human wizard (NOT4BLY M4L3), and Kanaya is a lawful good demon temptress from the underworld. Terezi protests, saying she can't have that kind of combination at the start. Rose then starts implying a thickly romantic plot thread that involves her character charming Kanaya's and showing her the ways of goodness. Karkat and Terezi, both thoroughly sickened, vote to start the game already. After an awkward moment of silence, Dave suggests alchemizing pizza and watching a movie instead. Everyone eagerly agrees, leaving Terezi behind without a second thought. WV places the bowl of food on Terezi's head and also leaves.
29. "The Viceroy and the Lady Grimme" (5 pages, story by Evin Weston, art by Fin Hickey, lettering by Phil Gibson) A Lady and a Viceroy walk into a Dungeon
    Casey appears to be dreaming about serving Rose and joining her to the Sanctum. As Rose magically makes a door lock appear on the entrance to the Sanctum, she warns Casey about her upcoming battle with the "White Wizard", a cunning dastard. She wants that Casey escapes in case she were to fail. Casey objects, but Rose stops her. Casey eventually agrees, and they enter the Sanctum as Rose opens it. In this room there are 12 pillars, including a big one with a cueball on top. The White Wizard appears, turning out to be Doc Scratch with white hair, a long white beard, a huge black coat, and a long black wand (which can emit Green Sun-like energy). He challenges her while Rose asks Casey for her wands. Then the two of them begin dueling. When Doc Scratch is about to win, Rose turns grimdark and breaks free from his grasp. But Casey points out to her that Doc Scratch has disappeared. The place crumbles apart, and Rose falls down. Doc Scratch is about to finish her, when Casey comes and hits him on the head, consequentially breaking it. Casey then runs over to Rose, who is at least mildly injured. Casey then wakes up from their dream, next to a statue of Rose on LOMAX that the local skeleton consorts are building. The last words from the dream linger over the scene, "...I told you you could do it."
30. "Horse Play" (6 pages, story by Zack Morrison, art by Jonathan Griffiths, colors by Mallory Dyer, lettering by Phil Gibson) An excellent host wants to play a game.
    Looking upon his chessboard, Doc Scratch asks whether a being like himself can truly enjoy playing a game when he already knows the outcome and emphatically states that he can, just as knowing all the steps of a dance does not make the act of dancing less enjoyable. He then snaps his fingers, teleporting the chessboard next to the opponent he has selected for himself: Andrew Hussie. Scratch teleports he chessboard back to him, only to find out that Andrew has replaced all of his chess pieces with horses. Dumbfounded, Scratch moves one of his pieces. When he gets the board back, he finds that Andrew has replaced all of Scratch's pieces with horses as well. Scratch tries to find out what Andrew is planning. Upon closer inspection, the horses are not all knights, but appear to simply be a horse-themed chess set. Scratch is getting worked up over the perceived jab at his omniscience, while Hussie is calling the company he ordered the (apparent) horse head busts from for a refund. Scratch makes a move, and Andrew sees the chess board return as he, Horuss and Rufioh walk in with "Breakfast for Dinner" dinner. Andrew removes all the chess pieces from the board and places his meal on it. Scratch retrieves the chess board, with Andrew's meal on it, and completely overanalyzes the gesture, believing the egg to signify Andrew "being inside of Scratch's head". Meanwhile Andrew wonders where his meal went, as Rufioh and Horuss eat theirs. Scratch then interprets the waffle as being a grid to play on, so he uses it as a chess board as Crowbar and Clover look on, worried. Hussie then wakes up to find his "Breakfast for Dinner" appearing next to him, in a complete mess. Scratch then declares Checkmate against Hussie, saying that "There is no move, no trick that can defeat me, for every possible version of the game exists conciously at all times within my all-powerful mind!". He then sees that Hussie has managed to manuever the pieces into an alignment that spells "HORS". Scratch contemplates this while Hussie winks at the reader.
31. "Lalondian Tourism" (4 pages, story by Alex Rofael, art by Adrienne Garcia, lettering by Phil Gibson) A troll explains a human room to another troll.
    Terezi and Kanaya are talking in a dream bubble memory of Rose's room. Terezi has apparently come to Kanaya for help on the intricacies of human culture, as when Terezi asked Dave, he immediately kicked her out of his room after she licked a smuppet. Terezi asks if Rose is okay with this, to which Kanaya responds that Rose doesn't care as she views the room as soiled anyways at this point from all the troll voyeurism. Kanaya begins to explain the culture, using Rose's Wizardy Herbert posters as an example, but Terezi appears uninterested. While snooping, Terezi finds the Lalonde Family scrapbook, which the two of them read through. Kanaya believes, and thus explains, that Rose's violent tendencies growing up were actually just her thriving in trials, not unlike those found in the brooding caverns. Kanaya also finds Rose's violin, which she believes to be a torture device, which Rose used as a musical instrument through human magic. Kanaya demonstrates how Rose would play it, likely playing quite poorly, as Terezi compliments her not on her musical capabilities, but torturing prowess.
32. "Go Fetch" (5 pages, story by Arden Ripley, drawn by Kristin Kemper, colored by Shelby Cragg, lettering by Phil Gibson) Two friends talk while a family guardian gets in the way.
    Rose begins messaging Jade, telling her about what sounds like an RPG she would like to play with Jade, John, and Dave. Meanwhile, Jade is getting ready to go explore her island while talking to Rose. Becquerel sees her get up and blocks her path through the doorway. Jade successfully distracts him, and makes her way to a boulder next to a river, with a flower atop it. Becquerel catches up with Jade and trips her. Sick of Becquerel getting in her way, she asks Rose to throw a ball of yarn out of her window as hard as she can. She does so, and Bec apparently notices, as he teleports all the way to Rose's house to fetch the yarn ball. Jade successfully climbs the boulder and plucks a glowing seed from it, and Bec returns home.
33. "the thirst of dornamon gary" (5 pages, story and art by KC Green) dude. yes.
    The comic starts off with a number of admirable twists of convention: In contrast with the actual title of the comic in the url, a slightly alternate title is given to the comic within the page itself: "the thsrit of doarnion gay (A CHILLING TAIL OF WOE)". Indeed, the author even appears to have taken the whimsical step of misspelling the word "tale", as in story, with its homonym "tail", or the extended spinal appendage that protrudes from certain animals' posteriors. The title is a reference to The Picture of Dorian Gray, which is indeed a tale of woe in itself: Dorian sells his soul such that a self-protrait he had made of himself will fade, instead of his own body aging. And it does, reflecting his continual corruption. On top of this, the artist provides a callback, or visual parallel, to the earlier Quality Time comic, with the flea market setting. Focusing in on the characters, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff appear to have added to the list of humorous inconsistencies by swapping traditional shirt colors. Sweet Bro is airbrushing a dope as shrit for Hella Jeff, as Hella Jeff exclaims how excited he is to "party with [his] bros tonight". He demands to see the shirt, and is impressed with Sweet Bro's work, which is a picture of Hella Jeff himself. This bodes ominously for Hella Jeff, given the plot of the book which this comic alludes to. This is followed by Jeff lampshading the plot of the book, playing it off as a flippantly hypothetical possibility, that he could party forever, and the likeness of himself on his shirt would age instead of him. This would be dope, he ventures. Sweet Bro then ominously warns Jeff to be careful what he wishes for, but Jeff was already gone. Sweet Bro is left alone to his thoughts, like always, like the many years he spent by himself.

Alt text

Many Paradox Space pages feature alt text captions, which can be viewed by hovering one's cursor over the image on a desktop computer. Anyone on the PXS team can add, alter, or remove alt text; a result of this alt text may not be added to a page until several stories later, causing it to be "missed" unless old pages are re-read. As alt text can be retroactive, in some cases the alt text for a particular page may be a result of the fandom's comments or reactions to the page.

• "You Have a Feeling It's Going to Be a Long Day" page 6: Welcome to Paradox Space.
• "Headed for Stardom"
  • Page 1: by which he does not mean bowling. because THAT, that would be gross
  • Page 2: March Hare-idan
  • Page 3: cosplayers: please don't put stickers on your eyes. not even for "authenticity"
• "John's Birthday" page 1: john's personal record is just a post-it note on dave's desk that says "monkeys"
• "Prototyped"
  • Page 3: if you removed homestuck from the internet and replaced it with just that last panel, no one would ever realize it
  • Page 5: you thought trolls were insectoid but they're actually related to pacmans
• "A Fun Day for Bec" page 2: GOOD DOG. BEST FRIEND.
• "Critical Miss"
  • Page 5: we can say "f8ck" but not that other word shhh
  • Page 6: critical whale <3< eridan OTP

• flashing "2X Update Combo Week" Banners: This week, Paradox Space will update with two pages per day (these will only appear on "2X Update Combo Weeks")
• "Con Faire"
  • Page 1: obviously this comic is 100% canon in every way
  • Page 6:only the purest and truest nic cage fans can shed tears like this
  • Page 7: yes. you. you were laughing
    • Allegedly changed a few hours after being added, the original alt text was apparently: except you. you were laughing
  • Page 8: "The Evil Team" is just a cute lil nickname. Don't overthink this.
  • Page 9: Also, Vriska, you tried to mind-control the judge, so, you know... not cool.
• "Deadline Day"
  • Page 1: If whatever news source you use doesn't bill itself as a sleazy rag, you're being lied to
    • Temporarily removed with no replacement.
  • Page 2:
    • I dunno, I think "Hurp bloop bluh" goes unrecognized too often these days.
    • I actually kinda want to know what happened with the cake kerfuffle.
  • Page 3: I suppose you could call this... *sunglasses* ...breaking news?
  • Page 4: Hooray! A tragedy!
• "A Fun Day for GCat" Page 2: oh hey i brought you something
• "Quality Time"
  • Page 3: dibs on "bogus dad crisis" as the name of my new band
  • Page 4: you tried to click that, didn't you
  • Page 5: dave has a black belt in high fives
  • Page 7: you pick up those beats right now young man
  • Page 8: everyone needs a good nose trimmer
• "Summer Sea Fun" page 1: <>< BEAUITFIOL
• "Hunting Lesson"
  • Page 1: ( =①ω①=)
  • Page 2: (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)
  • Page 3: (=ＴェＴ=)
• "Togy Hawk Pro Skator" page 1: he turts around
• "Ace Sleuth Jane" page 1: but who ate the sandwich
• "Party Crashers"
  • Page 1: EXCITEMENT
  • Page 2: a passive aggressive present to Rose from her mother, I'm sure
  • Page 3: honey that's salt water you're going to desalinate that first right
  • Page 4: not pictured: the years crumplehat spent in culinary school learning the art of pastry
  • Page 7: tea, earl gray, hot
• "Pones"
  • Page 1: tune in tomorrow for the eXCITING conCLUTION
  • Page 2: we made u read this fore two days u fat nasty trash
• "Hand Made In Alternia" page 1: rude
• "Indemnity Double Reacharound"
  • Page 2: i didnt spend four years in junior detective school to be called 'mr honeytongue'
  • Page 4: you gotta do what you gotta do, berrybreath
  • Page 5: what a twist that nobody saw coming from the first page
• ""The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse" page 2: PM slipped some mail in your back pocket during that hug. that was her angle.
• "Night at the 100dseum"
  • Page 1: well this isn't ominous at all
  • Page 2: The humidity in there is like, 80%.
  • Page 3: eaugh i can taste the air from here
  • Page 4: karkat really needs to learn how to "chillax"
  • Page 5: wait that second room actually looks kind of interesting what was in there nO NOT THE HORSECLOCKS
  • Page 6: that's not anime sparkles it's just sweat
  • Page 7: you might think Terezi got off easy not being able to see the atrocities but you have NO idea what that place smells like
  • Page 8: T H E S W E A T I
  • Page 9: gross
  • Page 10: The moral of the story is that museums are awful, kids. Tell 'em ol' Paradox Space told you that.
• "Soul-fraying-games"
  • Page 1: what's a mom
  • Page 3: seriously, name a bad dwarf. you can't
  • Page 4: karkat is strictly against PDA he is such a prude
  • Page 5: luckily every dane cook movie has a green cover and has been eaten by the Mayor YOU'RE WELCOME
• "Horse Play"
  • page 1: what
  • page 2: obtuse
  • page 3: the knight is the horse riding the horse of course of course
  • page 4: horse appreciation party
  • page 5: what do you mean YOU don't sleep in a nightcap
  • page 6: wink
• "Lalondian Tourism"
  • page 1: 4RF 4RF 4RF
  • page 2: tale as old as time, song as old as gunplay skills
  • page 3: s t o p
  • page 4: what
• "the thirst of dornamon gary" page 1: sweet shading, brah

Tags

Many of the tags on the comic pages identify the writer and artist of the story. Others are helpful by identifying characters present on the given page. However, some of these tags, the "unsaturated" ones, are merely additional notes and (most often) jokes. This section serves as a reference and archive for those tags.

• "You Have a Feeling It's Going to Be a Long Day" page 6: #welcome to paradox space
• "Headed for Stardom" page 3: #every fuckin glitter biscuit
• "John's Birthday" page 1: #kc green
• "A Fun Day for Bec" page 1: #sports
• "Critical Miss"
  • page 2: #critical wh8le
  • page 5: #those eyebrows
• "Deadline Day" page 2: #cake kerfuffle #malodorous monarchs #bloop bluh blurp #are those words
• "A Fun Day for GCat" page 2: #dead animal pile #barkley
• "Quality Time" page 5: #high fives

Multi-page tags

• "Deadline Day": #derse
• "A Fun Day" series: #a fun day
• "Indemnity Double Reacharound": #scalemate noir

Trivia

• 404 and 500 errors on the site are accompanied by one of a selection of images featuring Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff and one of Sollux fixing a computer for Equius. The 404 and 500 error page art was drawn by KC Green and Shad Andrews, respectively.

John's Birthday

• According to the news post by Kory Bing, this comic takes place in the same zoo previously seen in KC Green's Gunshow and Horribleville.
• "Bears with guns" and "seals with grenades" are callbacks to the aforementioned comics.
• The kid with the toque and glasses appears to be a young KC Green.

Prototyped

• The glass shards' captchalogue codes on page 1 read “420BLZ” (being posted just after 4/20) and “8UTT5”
• This story marks the first time that Jack Noir has on-screen dialogue, rather than his speech being described entirely through narration.
• This story was originally going to be titled Armless, but it was decided that that made the conclusion too obvious.

Con Faire

• The captain at the beginning, judging by the background color of their text box, as well as their status as captain, is possibly the Helmsman.
• The alt text might possibly be a jab at fans on the forums who produced a massive critical backlash at John's Birthday, the first non-canon comic.
• The curtains and general stage setup resemble both Caliborn's Homosuck site theme change and the Wizard of Oz stage in Jade and Calliope's dream bubble.
• Terezi keeps changing the location of her blindfold: she wore it normally, as a bandana, as a headband, as a scarf, as a belt/dragon cape tail, and as a different style of scarf.
• The alt text on page 8 was added retroactively in response to some forum comments.

Summer Sea Fun

• This comic may be a reference to this exchange between Damara and Meenah:

“MEENAH: holy mackerel gettin info outta yous like prying a pearl from a slutty murderous clam”
“DAMARA: Clam will not produce the pearl. You do not know anything of the sea.”
“MEENAH: yeah i know clams dont make pearls!!! look i just misspoke it was a hasty burn ok”

Ace Sleuth Jane

• This comic is missing character tags for Jane and GCAT.
• GCAT is referred to as a female here, despite being referred to as male in Homestuck. (This may be a reference to an ongoing gag of calling non-speaking pets by a different gender each time they are shown, or that referring to GCAT as male would have compromised the phrase used by Jane "Just the Facts Ma'am", the classically misquoted line by Detective Joe Friday of Dragnet fame.)

Party Crashers

• The teapot on page four is similar to the ones found on LOLCAT.
• The "tea, earl gray, hot" is a reference to Capain Picard's signature drink order.

Killswitch Engage

• The first page of this comic was originally uploaded without typing quirks (for ease of reading), but they were added in the next day after a large response from the fanbase.
• John's arm appears on the third page.

Indemnity Double Reacharound

• Doctor Honeytongue being a former military medic is probably a reference to Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes' assistant/friend. He also wears a similar outfit to Dr. Watson

The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse

• The title of this comic is the same as an existing fable by Aesop. The plot also seems to draw inspiration from this story.

Her Pale Passions

• The book Rose is reading, in the second to last panel, has a picture of Equius on it. The only reason for this is because Phil Gibson just really likes Equius.[1]

Night at the 100dseum

• The "items of vague historical importance" room features: a portrait of The Condesce posing like Joseph Ducreux, Dualscar's horns, GHB's clown horns (presumably), GHB's spiked club, and a Shroud of Turin reminiscent image of the Signless, which Karkat refuses to humor Equius by acknowledging.
• On the last page, Equius's horn is broken for the second time in PXS (the first being Killswitch Engage). Because of the semi-canon nature of the comic, either could be the true story of Equius's lost horn. Or neither. Or both.

See also

• List of Paradox Space characters