Midnight Crew Cards

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The Midnight Crew have many weapons and objects that they use throughout their missions. All of these which have a playing card that relates to them. Much like Problem Sleuth's Weapon/Object Duality, the cards transform into the weapon at will. Each character has a deck of cards. Their deck of cards is similar to a sylladex, except it holds playing cards instead of Captchalogue Cards.

War Chest ♠Edit

Deck of Cards

Spades Slick carries around his deck of cards which is the war chest that holds all of his objects. This chest is reminiscent of the chests that are in John, Jade, and Jane's bedrooms. Taped to the back is his vendetta itinerary of all the Felt members he plans to kill and his heist map. All of the items in this section belong to Spades Slick.

Cast Iron Horse Hitcher Edit

Card Ace of Spades
SS: Ride around on horse hitcher pretending to joust.

Spades Slick's weapon of choice. In the intermission it is seen in his first inventory slot. Its innocuous double is the Ace of Spades, as one might expect from Spades Slick's number one weapon. After Spades Slick tripped Itchy, he fell quickly to the might of the horse hitcher. Snowman later caught Spades Slick pretending the hitcher was a horse and using it to joust. He could not believe that she caught him horsing aroundSburb Logo like that. Despite this, he later used the hitcher in the same fashion to skewer Stitch. Slick attempts to use it to bash in the head of Doc Scratch, but it fails to slay the first guardian. After Scratch gets tired of this senseless drubbing he takes the hitcher and bends it into a useless heap of iron. The new 'Pretzeled Horse Hitcher' appears in Openbound in a chest; when given to Hussie while crying in the middle of a crater, he will follow you.

Occam's RazorEdit

Card King of Spades

Spades throws this small razor at Sawbuck and it turns into the playing card king of spades. The card stays lodged in Sawbuck.

Double Edged SwordEdit

Card Eight of Spades

This is Spades Slick's second favorite weapon. It is used to slay three Felt members at once. It is first seen in Spades's second inventory slot.

Bait and SwitchbladeEdit

Card Seven of Spades

This switchblade is first seen in Spades's third inventory slot.

Saber RattleEdit

Card Four of Spades

This weapon was shown in Spades Slick's inventory, slot 4.

Licorice Scotty DogsEdit

Card Deuce of Spades

These two dogs are Spades's prized possession, much like Problem Sleuth's candy corn.

Spades KeyEdit

Card Instructions for Playing Blackjack

This card was going to be used to open Karkat's base. However, Snowman shot a hole in the card, rendering the key useless.

Battledrobe ♣Edit

Deck of Cards

This is Clubs Deuce's deck of cards. He keeps all of his items in this wardrobe which resemble's Jade's and Kanaya's Wardobifier. It does not seem to operate like a normal wardrobifier, and instead he opens it up to release his weapons. All of the items in this section belong to Clubs Deuce.

Crook of FelonyEdit

Card Ace of Clubs

This is Clubs Deuce's weapon of choice. It is seen in his first inventory slot.

Bull Penis CaneEdit

Card Six of Clubs
You flip the fuck out over the fact that this is apparently a BULL PENIS CANE.

The Bull Penis Cane is a weapon discovered by Clubs Deuce. Did we mention it's a Bull Penis Cane?

Deuce commences to flip out when he discovers what nonsensical item he has been using. Everyone would flip the fuck out; even you would.

As much as it might sound like an outrageous item in keeping with the fantastical MS Paint Adventures style, taxedermied bull penis canes exist in the real world. Go ahead and flip the fuck out.

Golf ClubEdit

Card Ten of Clubs

A golf club in Clubs Deuce's second inventory slot. He never gets a chance to use it.

Billy ClubEdit

Card Three of Clubs

A club used by police, back in the day. Clubs Deuce has one in his third inventory slot. This weapon shows to be the Deuce of Clubs, however that could be an error, and it was supposed to be the three of clubs.

Licorice Gummy BearsEdit

Card Deuce of Clubs

These two gummy bears are Clubs Deuce's prized possession.

Demolition C4Edit

Card Seven of Spades

Clubs Deuce puts this C4 under his hat, and many of the idiotic Felt members see this as a clever way to make them unable to attack him. Stitch sees right through this ruse as C4 is harmless without a conductor.

Backup HatEdit

Card Jack of Diamonds

Clubs Deuce, like many of the other Midnight Crew members, keeps a back-up hat with him at all times. Whether all backup hats are under jack of diamonds is unclear.

Brawlsoleum Edit

Deck of Cards

This is Diamonds Droog's deck of cards. He keeps all of his items in this mausoleum. It looks like Rose's Mausoleum for Jaspers. He has covered the entrance of his Brawlsoleum with a black velvet curtain. On the door is a row of his white ties. All of the items in this section belong to Diamonds Droog.

Ultra-Violence CuestickEdit

Card Ace of Diamonds

Diamonds Droog's weapon of choice, as its Innocuous Double is the Ace of Diamonds. It is seen in his first inventory slot. Its title also reflects his short temper, as Droog is known to lash out at his teammatesMspa icon for no particular reason. The term "ultra-violence" is also a reference to a common phrase from A Clockwork Orange, the book which DD's name is somewhat inspired by.


Diamonds Droog keeps many guns in his possession. It would seem they all have an Innocuous Double that is Diamonds.


Card Four of Diamonds; Ten of Spades

This radio is used by many of the members, Diamonds has one in his possession. It is created by combining a ten card and a four card, an obvious pun on the term "ten four".

Swedish FishEdit

Card Deuce of Diamonds

These two candy fish are Diamonds Droog's prized possession.

Wrathtub Edit

Deck of Cards

This is Hearts Boxcars's deck of cards. It is a large bathtub covered in red hearts, resembling John's bath tub that was accidentally ripped from the floor by Rose. All of the items in this section belong to Hearts Boxcars.

TV AntennaEdit

Card Ace of Hearts

This is Hearts Boxcars's weapon of choice. In the intermission it is seen in his first inventory slot.

Huge MaceEdit

Card King of Hearts

Hearts Boxcars keeps this huge weapon in his fifth inventory slot.

Wax LipsEdit

Card Deuce of Hearts

These wax lips are Hearts Boxcars's most prized possession.


Much like Dave's shitty swords, Hearts Boxcars keeps many axes with him. They all seem to have the Innocuous Double of cards with hearts on them.


Biscuits's OvenEdit

Card Thirteen of Stars
You pick up the 13 OF STARS card. What? Cards don't go up to thirteen. Stars ain't a real suit either. These guys really are a bunch of whackjobs.Sburb Logo

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