This article is about the post-scratch kids' Jack Noir. For the post-scratch trolls' version, see Spades Slick. For the pre-scratch kids' version, see Jack Noir.
Jack Noir

Jack Noir Plain

Bloody Jack

Lord Jack

There are more than enough face bashings to go around. Sburb Logo
First AppearanceSburb Logo


Lord Jack, Union Jack, Jack English


Draconian Dignitary - Subordinate
Courtyard Droll - Subordinate
Hegemonic Brute - Subordinate (Deceased)
Black Queen - Kismesis (Presumably deceased)
Lord English - Possesor

Live(s) in

Derse, Prospitian jail


The Black Queen, frogs


Liquid Negrocity ♫
Black ♫
The Ballad of Jack Noir ♫
Octoroon Rangoon ♫
Checkmate ♫
Noirscape ♫

Jack Noir was the archagent of Derse from the post-scratch kids' Sburb session.


Under the orders of a new Derse ruler, the new, post-scratch Jack and the Courtyard Droll went to Prospit and assassinated the dream selves of both Jake and Jane. While the Droll took care of Jake, Jack went to greetSburb Logo Jane. Upon completing the first part of his task, he transportalized back to Derse, where he awaited the self-prepared demolition of Jane's tower. Jane was reported DEAD by the Dersite press, but Jack had a hunch that Jane was still alive and found her unconscious. Before he could attempt to kill her again, however, he was knocked out by the White Queen wielding the White King's scepter. When he awoke, he found himself in a Prospitian prison cell reminiscent of Jailbreak, and attempted to formulate an escape plan using the Courtyard Droll's knife-filled pumpkin. Unfortunately, he "accidentally" stabbed three of the guards, decapitated a brute who was radioed in to beat him up, then stuffed the head in the emptied pumpkin. He then rewired the waste disposal system so it would send things to the White Queen's throne, and sendificated the gory pumpkin. This would eventually lead to him getting brutally abused by several more Brutes. Or so we're told. He was later seen in Act 6 Act 4 tallying his time spent in the jail cell. Act 6 Intermission 4 shows him sporting a gold tooth and a manacle around his leg, an obvious nod to Caliborn.

Jack Noirglish

Oh no

154 days after his arrest, Jack is sendificated another pumpkin, containing a variety of knives and cutting tools, Crowbar's crowbar, a "YOU'RE MOTHER FUCKIN WELCOME" note from Gamzee, and Lil Cal. Cal allows Lord English to possess Jack, making him stab out his own eyes and saw off his leg, freeing him his manacle. He replaces them with Cal's eyes and one of his cell's spires, respectively, resulting in a resemblance to Lord English. Cal's power creates a massive explosion on Prospit, freeing Jack, and likely destroying what remained of that iteration of Lil Cal.

Jack English Attacks


He then proceeds to shoot a blast of energy at Prospit's moon, destroying it and thus killing Jane and Jake, while the Condesce does the same to Derse's moon. When Jane and Jake emerged from the explosion ascended to the god tiers, Jack tried to attack them, but was stopped by the sudden arrival of Jade, who used her first guardian powers (obtained from Bec) to banish him into the Furthest Ring.

In [S] Collide Jack and Spades Slick arrive at the fight against Terezi, Dirk and Dave on LOTAK. After a long fight against both the kids and Slick using the crowbar, he ends up dying by decapitation at Dave's sword. His head explodes, thus destroying a large part of Dirk's planet and creating a black hole. (As both Gamzee and the "Juju Breaker" Crowbar were on LOTAK at the time it was destroyed, it is assumed that this how they arrived at Caliborn's Earth. This would also explain why Earth would have a DenizenYaldabaoth, despite not being a planet generated by a version of Sburb or Sgrub, as Dirk's Yaldabaoth may have also been transported.)

Personality Edit

Jack has no tolerance for things he doesn't want to do. His vicious demeanor, sarcastic nature and nasty attitude are readily apparent, and he exhibits a lack of concern for life that isn't his own. He seems to be able to follow the directions of royalty without qualms, but if that is due to the new management or the lack of a Black Queen, it is unknown. He also seems to have a mild sense of humor, as he made a pun when Roxy disappeared, asking if the Rogue of Void had gone rogue. However, he realized how bad the joke was, and didn't blame the Draconian Dignitary for not laughing.