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ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.
Act 5 Act 2 is the second part of Act 5. It is entitled It is vastly longer than any other act before it, and follows the kids across the Incipisphere and the trolls in their Ectobiology Lab, working together to plot and execute a plan to get rid of Jack Noir, which culminates in the Critical Moment.
Click the "" to open the page from Homestuck.
Jade's Entry Edit
- Karkat Vantas views scenes from John Egbert's life, beginning with his arrival on Earth. Baby John sits atop the volume of Sassacre's that crushes his Nanna. Later in life, a young John rides his Pogo Ride until tumbling off and scraping his knee. Dad comes to his aid. Later, Dad is seen baking with John and teaches him to play the piano. John wears a shirt with a black spade on it. Dad throws a pie in John's face while wearing a familiar disguise. Later, John first introduces himself to Jade Harley through Pesterchum. He shoots cards out of his sleeve, baffling Karkat. Scenes of John from earlier in Homestuck are shown: preparing Jade's birthday present, looking up at his Meteor, battling Crude Ogres, wielding the Wrinklefucker, being praised by Salamanders, and flying while asleep on Dave's Bro's rocket board. Karkat seems to see John as his one true kismesis.
- new outfit and newly alchemized gear). Karkat is surprised to find out that John knows all about him due to his friendship with Karkat's future self. John reveals that the trolls have assisted the Kids in making a plan to cause the scratch. Karkat hints at his feelings of kismesissitude. Even though John is open-minded, he turns Karkat down, though his reasons—not being homosexual and complications arising from Karkat's relationship with Terezi—are hard for Karkat to comprehend, since they are not issues in troll romance. The conversation takes an awkward turn, so they agree not to speak of it again. Karkat decides to troll John's past self. Karkat makes his first attempt to troll John (who has obtained a
- kids as Karkat attempts to make a rousing speech to encourage them to get revenge. Numerous past Karkats crash the memo in protest and eventually get banned. Terezi and Karkat start arguing using the same computer and keyboard. Finally, a future Terezi tells her past self to join in and troll the kids, which she was planning to do anyway. Terezi Pyrope opens up a memo to discuss Karkat's plan to troll the
- Land of Wind and Shade but remains asleep. Vriska Serket, viewing John via Trollian, tries to manipulate him in his sleep but fails. John crash-lands on the
- Uber Bunny meet his Dad and Rose Lalonde's Mom on the remains of The Battlefield. They have a short exchange and John tries to reunite with his loving father and the "scarf lady", leaping off a cliff, Tavros-fashion, to do so. Vriska tries harder to manipulate John and succeeds in waking him, causing his dream self to blink out of existence seconds before a heartwarming reunion. John, now awake on LOWAS, gets trolled by Vriska. On Skaia the White Queen's Ring falls into a stream after John disappears. A disappointed Dad is offered a tipple from Mom's flask. Above them a cloud shows the explosion of Rose's first gate. Dream John and the
- Jade enter The Medium rather than go back to sleep and reunite with his father. John’s long-lost server copy of the Sburb beta springs from a Parcel Pyxis to him. Nice! Vriska and John have a short exchange. She persuades him to focus on helping
- her island, Jade finally completes her descent and is saved by Bec, who warps her bed underneath her at the last possible minute. Jade instantly falls asleep, just missing a Pesterchum message from John. On
- Warweary Villein stands in a river running red with the blood of the recently fallen. He mourns their deaths, believing it was foolish for him to have lead them into battle. He spots something shiny in the river... On Skaia, the
- Return Node. Vriska discusses troll culture, including their Lusus. She also discloses the point of Sburb: the creation of a new universe. The two continue to have a rather civil conversation as John heads back to his house to run the Sburb server beta. John and Vriska chat as John heads for a
- imps running amok through his house. Thoroughly displeased, he swiftly dismisses the ruffians by utilizing extreme seriousness. His bedroom is messy. Well, messier than usual. The imps have defiled his movie posters, leaving him on the verge of tears. They have thrown his computer out of the window, as well. Upon arriving home, John discovers
- procreation. As he tosses the bucket out of his room, Vriska tells him "Spinneret" is a fake name, though her real one is "a sekret"... Vriska pesters John about his sweet movies and insists he is wasting time. She is then embarrassed by a bucket lying on the floor of John's room. John explains it's used for cleaning and not
- balcony, finding both imps and salamanders around his Alchemiter. Nanna is nowhere to be found. Looking up at his house, John is surprised at how much it has grown and how busy his server player has been. John walks onto the
- creation of the paradox babies. Rose states that rather than continue to play and inevitably lose, she intends to break the game. Her plan now is "To do as much damage to the game as possible. To rip its stitches and pry answers from the seams." John pesters Rose. She is already aware of the shocking revelations John had in store for her, such as the
- new ensemble, walks along a beach in the Land of Light and Rain. Turtles, the consorts of LOLAR, cower in fear as she passes. Rose comes upon a turtle temple. She retrieves one of her Thorns from Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer, who also sports sharp new duds, and uses it to uproot the fortress, sending stones and turtles flying into the air. Rose is contacted by Kanaya Maryam, who reveals that she has been reading her walkthrough. Rose, wearing a
- Shortly after Karkat's speech about trolling the Kids, Kanaya asks him if he knows anything about Rose. Karkat says that he will steer clear of her, so Kanaya then agrees to troll Rose.
- Trollian, Kanaya is unaware that she is talking to him, not Rose. After Sollux helps Kanaya open her viewport, she sees Rose spring the trap John had left for her. Seeing the bucket on Rose’s head, Kanaya becomes filled with embarrassment and shields her screen from view. Kanaya has her with Rose – actually with John on her computer. Unable to open her viewport in
- Spade shirt. After conversing with John, and later with Dave and Jade as well, she deems that the conversations did not go well because of their inferior human intellect. However, her curiosity remains piqued. Trying to put that embarrassment behind her, Kanaya goes further back to when Rose is first . She tries to name Rose “Flighty Broad”. Kanaya then trolls John, earlier in his timeline when he still wore his
- fashion sense and "loyal snowlusus". Kanaya switches the viewport to Rose's house in the winter, where Rose is outside making a snowman with the head of a cat. Kanaya goes on to say how bright and pretty the Earth is and how nicely Rose is dressed. Rose once again gains a slight upper hand for her
- Kanaya has her with Rose, and, although satisfied with her trolling effort, it is obvious to Kanaya that this Rose is different than before. She believes that her first conversation had simply been Rose toying with her. She has her conversation with Rose, which does not go well.
- Her fourth through sixth conversations continue the trend, leaving Kanaya in a rather bad state as Rose continually out-snarks her. After she asks Dave for , she pulls out her trump card in the with a (slightly redacted) of their first conversation. Moving on to the eighth conversation, Kanaya views Rose destroying her first gate. Shocked at what Rose has done, she quickly questions Rose, who has some questions of her own.
- Cosbytop, John is trolled by Vriska. He starts to blast off with his rocket pack to search for Nannasprite, but Vriska stops him so that he can make him a new outfit, since she has seen him do so in his future. Having just made another
- Furthest Ring. Kanaya informs Rose that her viewport goes black several hours from that point, well before the scratch occurs. Rose discovers within the turtle fortress what appears to be a captchalogue card for the Green Sun, with which Kanaya is unfamiliar. Rose chats with Kanaya while disassembling the turtle fortress she has levitated. They discuss the information Rose has gathered in her dreams from the Gods of the
- outfit for John that is almost exactly the same as her own, with a different color scheme and a Green Slime Ghost in place of her Scorpio symbol. John promptly blasts off after Vriska tells him that they will not speak for a couple hours. Jokingly, John tells Vriska that his last name is Anderson. Vriska prepares an
- boonbuck so he can work the Land of Heat and Clockwork Stock Exchange. Dave tells John he has time-travelled through at least three times the 24-hour period they have until the Rift. After some convincing, John agrees to transfer his money to him. On the way to the top of his house, John is pestered by Dave, who promptly requests that John give him his
- crocodiles. Dave loads John's boonbuck into his virtual porkhollow and utilizes his scams to multiply the boonbuck, adding to his already large fortune of over 216 septillion boondollars. (For comparison, a boonbuck is only one million.) At LOHACSE, three different time-travelling versions of Dave are surrounded by his consorts,
- 413 boonbonds to Terezi 6 hours and 12 minutes prior to their conversation. Dave chats with Terezi about his Boon-wrangling. They share a of and Dave sends
- Skaia from The Veil in the trolls' session through her Smelloscope. She smells the destruction of Prospit and, after seeing Kanaya slice off Tavros's legs with her chainsaw, starts a memo to inform the others of Prospit's destruction. Future Nepeta mentions that Derse is also destroyed 3 hours and 14 minutes in the future. Terezi views
- Sollux traces the transfer back to him. Terezi, Sollux, and Feferi then view Dave's past. Dave's Bro finds him atop a deceased Maplehoof in a Meteor crater and, with the help of Lil Cal, raises him, training him in combat even as an infant. Terezi receives Dave's monetary transfer from the future.
- Terezi contacts Dave for the first time in accordance with the timeline. The view switches back to the present Dave, who seems to be in hot water (literally). Terezi reveals that she made the scheme to befriend the crocs.
- Four Aces Suited. Terezi asks for his trust. Dave's future self comes out from hiding behind a column and gives him a thumbs up as a sign that she can be trusted. Dave gets out of the pool and changes into his
- Dave and Terezi talk about busting some sweet moves, while Dave heads down an elevator. Terezi sends Dave some animated GIFs of two kids dancing, with Terezi's signature editing over it. She tells Dave that he must start accumulating Boondollars. Dave is messaged by Karkat while standing next to a huge gold clock-tower shaped like a crocodile.
- Con Air. As John is messaged by Karkat, Vriska falls head over heels for Nic Cage, even going far enough as to kiss the monitor. Meanwhile, John pesters Vriska while high atop his house, much to Vriska's dislike. John apparently figures out Vriska's real name, also much to her dislike. He sends a video of the ending scene of
- Karkat trolls John and Dave about them getting too close to some of the trolls—Terezi for Dave and Vriska for John. Karkat suggests Vriska and Terezi might be romantically interested in the humans. He tells them to stop and literally orders them to with the other two Sburb players, John to Rose and Dave to Jade, for the purposes of procreation.
- Flash game "[S] Past Karkat: Wake up" (Alterniabound), the player can control three trolls (Karkat, Vriska, and Terezi) in their lab in The Veil shortly after the trolls come into contact with the humans. See the Alterniabound page for more details. In the
- Nannasprite throwing a pie. Thankfully, she saves him from falling off of his house by generating a sprite-powered bed to Sweet Catch him. John tries to connect with Jade but is surprised by
- Prankster's Gambit sinks to an all-time low. John and Nanna discuss his experience in the game so far. Nannasprite gives John a necklace so that he can contact her at any point. She offers to prepare a meal for him, which, unsurprisingly, turns out to be a huge prank. John's
- Eridan, Aradia, and Nepeta. She talks to Eridan first and, after some witty banter, destroys his computer (as seen in Alterniabound). Rose is messaged by
- cant p0ssibly wield its energy 0r put it t0 c0nstructive use", before pretending to go berserk out of sheer desperation. Aradia does not explode... yet. She then answers Aradia, who warns her about the consequences of using the Green Sun, stating that Rose "
- Jaspersprite because he reminds her of Pounce de Leon. Rose summons Jaspersprite with a necklace similar to that given to John by Nannasprite, then gives him her laptop as she has no more need for it. Rose releases Jaspersprite to do as he pleases. They discuss her new objectives in Sburb. Finally, Rose answers Nepeta, who wants to talk to
- Gamzee, Equius, and Terezi message Dave in the crocodile statue. Dave answers Gamzee first, and during their conversation he sends him the music video for "Miracles" by ICP. Unfortunately, the actual Insane Clown Posse does not live up to Gamzee's expectations, causing him to caliginously dismiss the video as "bLaSpHeMy", as well as go into a distinctly non-fuzzy Hero Mode. Meanwhile,
- legendary sword out of a stone. Eventually, Dave decides to deliberately break it so that he can use it with his strife specibus. Equius sweats profusely at this and takes one of Vriska's Con Air posters to dry himself off. Dave then talks with Equius, and they share some dope rhymes while Dave tries to pull a
- time-displaced selves to get him out of trouble. Dave finally talks with Terezi once again, and with Nepeta's drawing tablet she draws him a . She encourages him to not rely too much on his friends, family, or
- Davesprite is summoned, and he talks about how breaking Caledfwlch had angered Hephaestus, but not as much as the loss of the forge in the alternate timeline. Davesprite then promises to defend Dave when he goes to sleep, which just happens to be when Vriska forces him to do so.
- Beat Mesa, Jack absconds with Bro's katana. At the
- Squiddles. The dream, although initially somewhat bizarre, proceeds to get more insidious. Feferi, who is also asleep without a corresponding dream self, makes an appearance as well. As Dream Dave looks into the Furthest Ring and removes his shades as suggested, he witnesses their dream turn into a nightmare. Eventually, Jade finds herself in the Furthest Ring, whereupon she wakes up out of pure horror. The slumbering Jade has a dream about
- Jade, having been visibly affected by the nightmare, talks with Feferi, who hints that despite the former's protests she will fall back asleep and join the latter again in the Furthest Ring.
- Dreambot exploded. Karkat opens a memo and tries to get his future self involved. When he does show up, however, they start arguing with each other, much to Jade's torment. It appears that future Karkat harbors something for Jade. Jade goes off on them, visibly very frustrated. Dave butts in at some point to call Future Karkat out on his hypocrisy. Finally, Jade gives up and stops replying to the memo. Jade then talks with Karkat, since she was instructed to talk to him after her
- Cruxtruder in the grand foyer and, to her consternation, dumps out two of her garden tables in the atrium to make room for the Totem Lathe and Alchemiter. Jade throws away all of her reminders except for one regarding John's safety. Fortunately, John is safe and connected as Jade's server player. He sets up the
- bunny Liv Tyler. Jade tells him to retrieve the White Queen's ring when he goes to sleep next, and John prepares to open the Cruxtruder. John and Jade catch up on things. John names his
- Land of Wind and Shade, still holding Bro's sword. He meets Bro there, throws him his sword, and the two prepare to resume their duel. Jack flies towards the
- John opens the Cruxtruder with a globe. However, it then bounces and almost hits Jade on the head. Fortunately Bec wakes up and redirects the globe into outer space.
- 10 minutes and 25 seconds left to enter the medium. John and Jade discuss what to use to prototype her Kernelsprite. With the Cruxtruder open, Jade finds herself with
- As Bro and Jack get ready for their duel, Davesprite flies in.
- Typheus Minion from the transportalizer. However, when he sets it down in the Grand Foyer, he ends up making a mess. After that, Jade has about 6 minutes to get in. John mentions that Grandpa is their paradox father, a fact of which Jade was apparently still unaware. John proceeds to remove the stuffed
- Lil Cal continue their fight. Jack activates his ring and sets the nearby oil rivers on fire, but Davesprite and Bro are unharmed. A bolt appears to head for a large oil lake or ocean. As LOWAS burns, Rose observes through a crystal orb. While John helps Jade get into the Medium, Jack, Bro, Davesprite, and a repaired
- prototyping. Rose refuses to tell him out of fear of creating an alternate timeline. She also says that evolving Skaia to its final form will create a special treasure in the center of Skaia, which Dream John must retrieve. John asks Rose for advice on Jade's
- Totem and asks Dave for help in creating her Cruxite artifact. However, one of the crocodiles has found Dave's iShades and is talking in his stead. Using a punched card, Jade carves her
- Derse, Dream Dave flies over to Rose's tower to find her sleeping dream self glowing with a strange black energy. On
- Nanna. His Cosbytop and the pendant Nanna gave him sink into the oil. After failing to get a response from Jade, he idiotically throws his PDA into the oil as well. On her crystal ball, Rose switches the view from Dave's original self to John. John is inexplicibly sleeping in the middle of a lake of oil on top of the ghost bed conjured by
- computer to contact Rose, who warns him about the planet being set on fire. He finds a solitary rock to escape to. At John's request, Rose reveals that the treasure in the center of Skaia is The Tumor. However, before he can get any more info, he is interrupted by Karkat and Vriska. John uses his one remaining
- narrator doesn't let the reader see what he says just yet. The ground beneath John begins to shake. Karkat has, from his perspective, his second conversation with John. He claims that whatever John did was a serious screw-up, and finally agrees to tell John what it was. To no one's surprise, the
- a dog-shaped piñata. She is unable to destroy it by hitting it directly. As John is about to prototype her Kernelsprite, he is put to sleep by Vriska before he can finish. Becquerel enters the Kernelsprite. As Becsprite, he destroys the meteor heading towards Jade's home, causing a massive green explosion across the Earth. He redirects Jade's bullet to hit the piñata, allowing Jade to enter The Medium and the final prototyping to occur. Because of this, the kids' Jack Noir, while still fighting Dave's Bro, Lil Cal, and Davesprite, gains the powers of Becquerel through the properties of the Queen's Ring. Hours in the future, after a narrative time skip, Jack uses these dimension-bending abilities to destroy the trolls' end-game door, revealing himself to be what the trolls call the 'demon' that attacked their Incipisphere. Jade receives her Cruxite artifact,
- Dave's Bro and Davesprite have been defeated at the battlesite. Jack steals Bro's shades and Lil Cal. Karkat explains Bec's prototyping to John, blaming Jade for prototyping and John for allowing this to happen by falling asleep.
- Windswept Questant finds a terminal for repairing the Bec Head Base. Using her Spirograph Key, she turns it on, allowing the base to re-form and drop onto the shoulders of the Frog Temple, surprising the rest of the exiles. While Karkat and John banter with each other, the
- Wayward Vagabond, in a fit of memory, recognizes the "boy on the screen" as John. In a flashback to current events, Dream John witnesses Skaia morph into its final form. The Villein defends his treasure from John, believing him at the time to be a thief. The
- Skyship Base is locked down, barring him from exiting. The Wayward Vagabond communicates with John, who had just woken up several pages ago. However, he has trouble communicating with him due to John's current engagement with Karkat. Flustered, he presses the Caps Lock key on his terminal's keyboard again. The
- trolls and the Kids will be able to take down Jack together. John talks with Vriska, who reveals that she intentionally put John to sleep in order to create Bec Noir and get him involved with the troll's session. She insists that through these machinations, the
- WV commands John to "DO THE WINDY THING". After enough coercing, John creates a massive hurricane of blue wind, extinguishing the green flames across LOWAS. Vriska congratulates him on his efforts.
- Charles Dutton. His first entry is an accurate description of Jade's planet, the Land of Frost and Frogs. Dream Dave begins reading looking through the New York Times bestseller Dream Bubbles by renowned actor-director-prophet
- Liv Tyler as a present to John. Feferi immediately chats with her, and Jade is hit with déjà vu about the conversation. Suddenly, Feferi comes out of seemingly nowhere and hugs Liv, before "revealing" that she is dead. Jade wakes up, again in a panic. Jade begins sleeping again, and flashes back to when she was creating
- Lunchtop. However, she is accosted by a uranium imp, prototyped with Bec's powers and a harlequin costume. No matter what she does, the imp simply warps reality to escape getting shot. During the strife, Jade passes through the LOHACSE; through LOWAS and LOLAR; onto Rose and John's houses; past Dave, who wakes up from his sleep on a pile of Suitarang; in front of one of Dave's future selves by a statue depicting Echidna on LOFAF; and various other places on her planet. Eventually, Becsprite steps in and nukes the imp. Jade scales her Echeladder to the rank of Kiddo Eclipse. Jade heads home for her
- Peregrine Mendicant tries to talk with Jade and has her interface destroyed for her troubles. Jade tries to thank Becsprite, but he can only respond in blocks of nuclear glow, much to her shock. It is at this point that the
- PM initially has trouble being the Queen of Exile Town, so the Windswept Questant offers her help in dealing with her position. PM appoints WQ as her royal advisor.
- Intellibeam Laserstation at his house. Jade and Becsprite return home, whereupon Jade finds all of her Sburb equipment destroyed. The only thing left intact is her lunchtop. Future Dave messages her from a point on his timeline near his chat with John at the beginning of the act. Dave says he will deploy new equipment for her and instructs her to deploy the
- Dave explains that the Laserstation will allow him to duplicate his server disc. Upon doing so, he becomes Jade's server in the future, though his past self remains connected to Rose. He installs a fully upgraded Alchemiter in Jade's grand foyer.
- The Noble Circle of Horrorterrors' plight, that they are being massacred and pleading for help from the Derse dreamers. Rose explains her plan in which she, with Dave's help, will find the Green Sun with a complex chart created with assistance from the Circle. John will bring The Tumor (revealed to be a powerful bomb) to Rose, who will use it to destroy the Green Sun. Her dream self will also be destroyed in the process. She has been in contact with Doc Scratch, who wishes to die as his purpose has been fulfilled. A past Dave, now awake, retrieves his iShades from the crocodile and talks with Rose. While asleep, he had removed his shades to view the nightmare bubble belonging to Jade. He and Rose discuss
- patron trolls, Rose suggest that he consult Vriska if he has difficulty getting the map. Rose and Dave begin discussing how to find the map of the furthest ring. While later discussing their
- Prince of Hope to stop her. In reality, she made Eridan a magic wand so that he would stop bugging her about Rose's secrets. Kanaya talks with Rose, expressing her dissatisfaction with the latter's plan, and even suggests (although jokingly) that she'd send the
- Grandpa's pistols as a child. Unfortunately, Tavros had mistaken Grandpa as an intruder on Jade's property and used Bec to redirect the bullet into him, killing him. Tavros contacts Jade and he reveals that he spent a lot of time on Prospit as his dream self during the trolls' session due to an event that upset him quite a bit. He tells Jade that he contacted her to get her permission to commune with Becsprite. As it turns out, he had done this once already to save Jade from shooting herself while she was playing with
- matespritship with him. As she barely knows him, she refuses and suggests that they should work on their new friendship instead. Despite the bad news, Jade forgives Tavros. Tavros subsequently tries to persuade her into a
- creation of Bec using Draconian Dignitary and Courtyard Droll in the kids' session. Vriska is "manipul8ing" the events of the kids' session so that she can be the one to kill Bec Noir, thus multiplying her glory. Tavros takes up his lance and goes to stop Vriska, but ends up falling down some stairs. As soon as Jade ends her conversation with Tavros, Vriska begins tearing into Tavros and revealing her responsibility for many of Jade's narcoleptic attacks, as well as the
- Andrew Hussie into achieving his dream of riding a long magic dog through the sky and fucking up some bullies' shit. Meanwhile, Vriska manipulates
- Echeladder for doing The Windy Thing. However, he still has not undone the curse of Typheus. John skyrockets to the top of his
- Quest Bed to the north of where he started. See the main page for "John: Enter village". In a Flash walkaround, John finds his Serious Business Goggles and talks to Vriska, who tells him that he should find his
- Bec Noir finds and stabs him to death, clearing the way for his dream self to take over and ascend to god tier. John finds and sleeps on the Quest Bed.
- Quest Bed lights up. John's dream self transforms into the blue hooded outfit he is seen in at the beginning of the act, replacing the Green Slime Ghost with the Wind logo in a very symbolic manner. Rose, Dave, and Jade seem to notice this happening from their planets. Warweary Villein watches from Skaia as his future self catches a glimpse of the four-times-prototyped Jack Noir standing over John's corpse before John's screen shuts off. (It is the 612th day of Homestuck.) Fireflies gather on the corpse of John's original self, and his
- Dave, wearing the Felt Duds, sleeps on his Quest Bed on LOHAC. A future Dave approaches the bed with the Broken Caledscratch in his hand. Just before he goes to kill the sleeping Dave, he pesters Terezi with doubts. Terezi suggests that Vriska was the only troll who could bear dying on her Quest Bed. After discussing his time loops, he deduces that the Dave on the bed is a past Dave from an offshoot time line.
- Terezi reminds Dave of a past conversation where she offered him a choice with the flip of a coin: If the coin lands on "good heads", she would show him how to reach god tier now, and if it landed on "bad heads" she would show him later. Dave remarks that the coin landed on the bad heads, which meant that she was now showing him how to do it, but still does not know where the doomed Dave comes from. Terezi tells him that by agreeing to the flip of the coin he created an offshoot time line where bad heads meant she would show him at that time. In the offshoot timeline, she instructs Dave to find his Quest Bed and go to sleep, telling him a future Dave would kill him and allow the alternate Dave him to reach god tier. Dave remarks that the plan would be useless since the alternate Dave is doomed.
- Legendary Nap. Furthermore, Terezi did not even look at the result of the flipped coin, leaving Dave's fate up in the air, a result that leaves him nonplussed. Terezi reveals that Dave will not make god tier after all, but it shouldn't matter, since the trolls (except Vriska) beat the game without needing to take the
- Hivebent, Vriska lies on the ground after Aradia's . Tavros crawls up to her, and Hearts Boxcars commands him to kiss her. From Prospit, dream Vriska uses her mind control to stop him, disappointing Boxcars. She makes Tavros write on the ground with her own blood to give a message, asking him to bring her to her Quest Recuperacoon. Tavros gets her into his rocket car and they depart. In a flashback to
- Snowman intervenes and tells her to take complete control of Tavros, which she refuses. Vriska's dream self starts bleeding heavily. Soon, Diamonds Droog finds Tavros and also reprimands him for not completing the task at hand. He still fails to kill her and flees. As Tavros leaves, the Quest Recuperacoon disappears in a blast of light and Dream Vriska disappears from Prospit. Vriska then awakens on Skaia as a god tier Thief of Light. Vriska's monitor shuts off, much as John's did when he reached the god tiers. Snowman leaves the monitor station. At the Quest Recuperacoon, Tavros is almost ready to stab Vriska with his lance.
- future Earth, WV laments what he assumes is John's death. He tries to leave the Skyship Base by pressing the escape key, but the door jams since the station had run out of power. While searching for a power source, he remembers that . On
Jade's Quest Edit
- Karkat trolls her, though she ignores him, causing him much ire. With Dave's guidance, Jade makes a Christmas tree and stocking of a hideously shitty quality. On LOFAF, Jade draws a Christmas tree to get ready for the holidays. Then she remembers that it's April, far from the holiday season. Nevertheless, she still feels she deserves a "white Christmas". All the while,
She then really gets down to business with alchemizing, making the following:
- a pair of Lunchmuffs
- the useless Johnnytop
- the Iron Lass Suit
- the Dress of Eclectica
- the Junior Compu-Sooth Spectagoggles
- Warm Fuzzy Squiddlejacket and Squiddlesneaks
- the Girl's Best Friend (assault rifle)
- a Proton Cannon - though she doesn't have enough grist
- the Dead Shuffle dress
- the Green Sun Streetsweeper
- the Three in the Morning dress
- Overall, she had an alchemizing session almost as fun as
ChristmasApril 13, 2009.
- Overall, she had an alchemizing session almost as fun as
- Empiricist's Wand, trolls Jade. He presumes that she has a rivalry of sorts with Rose, due to Jade being the Witch and Rose being a witch, but obviously, he is wrong. Nevertheless, he continues rambling about "truest sciences" and being bored with his attempted rivalry with Rose. Jade becomes impatient with him, but Eridan then gives her the code for his rifle - "FFFFFFWW." Eridan, armed with his
- familiar with it. When Eridan tells her that it is one-of-a-kind, she tells him that the rifle which was with John's present came from her penpal, who she believes is her grandson from the future. Eridan hypothesizes that Jade's version of Ahab's Crosshairs is a Harley family heirloom. Jade refuses to use the weapon, and in response, Eridan uses his wand to destroy her Johnnytop. Jade discards the Crosshairs and broken robot. After alchemizing the rifle, Jade notes that she is
- Jack Noir's rampage on the troll session. Jack destroys the end-of-game door with 10 hours and 25 minutes counting down to some critical moment. He destroys Prospit 6 hours and 12 minutes before the moment, and Karkat wakes up afterwards at precisely 5:12:24 from the moment. A flashback shows events beginning with
- 4 hours and 13 minutes, Aradia trolls Sollux to say goodbye to him, though she isn't sure if it is for good or not. She ceases trolling him and gives him a hug before promptly exploding in front of him, Equius, and Nepeta. Sollux mourns her death... again. At
- 3 hours and 14 minutes, Terezi watches Felt Dave wake up from his bed and promptly get his neck slashed by Jack Noir. Terezi tears up while Karkat tries to bug her. Terezi pushes him away with a doof and transportalizes away to her room in tears. At
- LOFAF, Jade tries out her new Junior Compu-Sooth Spectagoggles, which allow her to see the entire Incipisphere: Skaia, LOFAF, Derse, LOWAS, and last but not least, John on The Battlefield. She compliments John in his Heir outfit, mistakenly believing it was alchemized. Skaian dream clouds show Jade and the Warweary Villein. Jade then finds Rose on LOHAC, not far from the Beat Mesa, about to talk with Doc Scratch. Meanwhile on
- Daves created via time shenanigans and decides to focus on Davesprite, finding the site of his and Bro's battle with Jack. She is more shocked on seeing Felt Dave with his neck slashed, accounting for the sudden decrement in Dave count. She contacts one of the Daves, who reassures her that the dead Dave is one from a doomed timeline and then reveals to her their ectobiological origins. Jade urges him to stop Jack, though Dave can't because he is trapped in all of his time shenanigans (his "fucking one-man ballet"). He describes the plan to cause the scratch and Rose's plan to destroy the Green Sun with The Tumor. He also informs her about the thing that she is going to do. Jade locates all 13 of the
- Tavros' plan to commune with Becsprite, but Tavros is still at the bottom of the stairs, struggling to get up on his own to feet, after it stops happening. She does something else as a last resort: she goes up to her lab where one of Jack Noir's fenestrated walls and her stuffed dream self's and Halley's corpses are held. She briefly catches a glimpse of Andrew riding the long magic dog. She lures out Becsprite with an irradiated steak and tier-two prototypes her dream self, turning Becsprite into Jadesprite. Jade then does the thing that she is going to do, but she doesn't know about it yet. She remembers
- flip the fuck out and scream "WHAT DID YOU DO?" at her. Meanwhile, ten seconds before the critical moment, a bloodied Gamzee fondly regards a miracle: the complete annihilation of the upper levels of Jade's house. Unfortunately, Jadesprite, upon realizing what happened, begins to
- tree stump. The laboratory top bounces off the house and goes snowballing down the hill, with Jade, Jadesprite, and everything else rolling along with it. Eventually it stops beside a
- fourth wall turns on to show Andrew Hussie's house, painted mostly in green to look like the Felt's mansion. Hussie himself appears, wearing Lrd English's Cairo Overcoat (though he admits that it's too big for him), which he promptly takes off and hangs on the fenestrated wall, giving Jade and Jadesprite their privacy. Jadesprite cries while Jade is stuck upside down in a now messy laboratory. The
- Ms. Paint for a paint job well done. He checks on Cal, scolding him for not wearing his Felt-themed Cal-sized outfit, let alone swap his eyes for a set of billiard balls and make them alternate rapidly. It's bad enough that he had to take Falcor out behind the woodshed and blow his brains out because he caught the rabies. He forgets about him and pulls up to the old Underwood, which he is replacing his computer with in keeping with the theme. He then busts out a shitty drawing of himself for maximum time efficiency, because it is time for the third recap of Homestuck from the start of Act 5 to now. He then applies Felt Duds to the drawing, also shittily drawn for maximum time efficiency. Hussie provides an extremely long recap in white ink, changing to a normal black at the very end. The player tells Andrew that highlighting the white text crashed their browser. Andrew apologizes and continues on with the story through the broken fourth wall. Hussie retires to his study and compliments
- Green Sun. She says she was happy with her friends, and asks if it can be undone. When Jade says no, Jadesprite bursts into another bout of tears, followed by an uncontrolled "woof". Jadesprite is still crying and asking Jade what she did, with Jade asking the same question. Jadesprite explains that she cannot stop seeing the
- Prospit's moon, but this only reminds Jadesprite of the loss of Prospit. Jadesprite asks Jade why she's forcing her to remember the bad things that happened, and asks what happened to the White Queen and her ring. She says that she wanted to show dream John around Prospit because he was her best friend. Jadesprite considers leaving Jade and going somewhere else, but Jade pleads for her to stay because she, Dave, Rose, and John need her help. Upon hearing John's name, Jadesprite cries again as she believes John has died. She mentions searching for him after she died and not finding him, but she got over it because she found her "friends". Jade tries to convince her that John was saved from the explosion of
- flips the fuck out. Jade tries to convince Jadesprite to fight Jack, but she refuses since she is too afraid to find him, let alone fight him. Jadesprite also begins to become more depressed and whiny, believing every prophecy was a lie and that there's nothing to live for. Jade begins to lose her patience with her sprite and soon
- Karkat intervenes with the argument. Jade answers, for once relieved to be talking with him, while Karkat himself is very civil with her. Jade relays Jadesprite's major flaws to him, and he finds a striking similarity between the futility of Jade's efforts to mollify her and his own arguments with his past and future selves. After thinking about it, Jade starts to see the hypocrisy of calling out Karkat on arguing with his alternate selves.
- Karkat tells Jade that what she did with Jadesprite makes her sane, as thinking that her flaws are disgusting means that she's more together than she thinks. Karkat then apologizes to Jade for always being angry at her, and Jade also apologizes to Karkat for calling him crazy. They discuss the plan Jade is supposed to create, and Karkat tells her to first shut the fourth wall off. Karkat tells her that he is acting as a messenger between current and future Jades, while future Jade is purposely keeping things vague so as to not affect their outcome. Karkat tells Jade of the countdown, about which no one else knows (save Aradia, who exploded), but represents something conceivably bad. Apparently future Jade knows its purpose but hasn't told Karkat because he isn't supposed to know yet. After instructing her to turn off the fourth wall, Karkat tells Jade to draw it.
- someone's narration. She turns off the fourth wall, which turns off our view of her as well. Standing close to the fourth wall, Jade has a moment where her thoughts mix with
Jack Noir Edit
- Skyship Base, Wayward Vagabond has taken off pieces of the wall paneling to build a fort, in order to wait for the uranium to come out. Serenity decides to leave for help by slipping under the nearly-closed door. Meanwhile, the Prospitian Monarch asks the Windswept Questant what she should do for the itinerary she inherits. WQ tells her that she must wait for her fourth subject to appear - he is inside the Lotus Time Capsule and will be released in 4 hours and 13 minutes. The White King, now the Writ Keeper, is shown with Rose's journals at the Time Capsule. Back in the
- Jack Noir down and rebuild her kingdom in a new land. PM asks how this can be done. WQ tells her to appoint a Wastelandic Vindicator to help in the fight, using the ring. She also tells her that she will need to "tidy up" using explosives, for which she can appoint an Armaments Regent. She must then use the spirograph key for something and, with the explosives, blow up the exile bases. WQ tells PM that her job as the new queen will be to bring
- Serenity tries to signal both WQ and PM to help WV out of his predicament (see translation below), but they do not understand her Morse code. Meanwhile, AR sets up the explosives around the Skyship Base, while within it WV nods off.
|Serenity's Message and Translation|
| .... . .-.. .--. ! -- -.-- / ..-. .-. .. . -. -.. / .. ... / ... - ..- -.-. -.- / .. -. ... .. -.. . / - .... . / -... .. --. / -.-. .- -., .. -. ... .. -.. . / .- / ... -- .- .-.. .-.. / .... --- ..- ... . / .... . / -... ..- .. .-.. - ! -.-- --- ..- / -- ..- ... - / .... ..- .-. .-. -.--, .... . / .. ... / -. --- - / ...- . .-. -.-- / -... .-. .. --. .... -, .- -. -.. / .... . / -.. --- . ... -. ' - / ..- -. -.. .-. ... - .- -. -.. / .. - / .-- .... . -. / .. / -... .-.. .. -. -.- ! .- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .- - -.-. .... .. -. --. / -- . ? --- .... / -. ---, -.. --- -. ' - / -... .-.. .. -. -.- / -- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- -. ' - / ..- -. -.. . .-. ... - .- -. -.. / -... .-.. .. -. -.- .. -. --. / . .. - .... . .-. !!! .... --- .-- / -.. --- / -.-- --- ..- / .--. . --- .--. .-.. . / . ...- . -. / . -..- -.-. .... .- -. --. . / .. -.. . .- ... / .-- .. - .... --- ..- - / .-.. ..- -- .. -. --- ..- ... / .-. . .- .-. / . -. -.. ... !!!!!!|
- WV begins a dream sequence. Serenity narrates in Morse code, translated as follows:
|Translation of Serenity's Narration|
|"WHAT A DARING DREAM"|
"TO COMBINE THE FINEST QUALITIES OF HUMANITY WITH THE ELEGANCE AND NOBILITY OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM"
(This happens to be a verbatim copy of part of anthropomorphically-persuaded fauna.)of her interest in
- Skaia, with the falling moon of Prospit above. He sleeps under John's blanket, with Serenity watching over him. A black dog flies towards the tower and stalks his way up the stairs. The creature growls lowly, waking him up. He sees the creature at the window sticking its tongue out at him. He then begins a transformation of sorts into a prototyped form. WV is mayor in a "tower" on
- Bec's prototyping, burning off his clothes and completely destroying his Skaian dream tower. He gains an emblem on his chest: a sun, left over from his sash, though it has turned green. He loses his left arm (or right, depending on whether his ), startling him. He grows wings and is harmlessly skewered through the chest with a sword, right in the center of the O in his mayoral sash, which is also a sun. The uranium in his stomach glows bright, activating the powers he carried over from
- Jack Noir's hand when he destroyed the trolls' Prospit. Before him are his citizens and the mayoral guard, composed of Prospitian and Dersite pawns. The blood on his hand causes an attack identical to what thrice-prototyped Jack used on The Battlefield, called "Red Miles". The Miles slaughter his citizens as the remains of Prospit's moon begins to enter Skaia's atmosphere, forcing him to relive his memories of that tragedy. His dream soon turns into a nightmare as blood appears on his hand, as was on
- Vriska in her god tier outfit. She psionically messages him not to kill Jack, as she is the one who wants to do it. She then orders him to wake up. Vriska herself is dreaming in her god tier outfit. The translation of her text is as follows: He is approached by a weird bug, appearing as
|Translation of Vriska's Messages|
"Just what do you think you're planning on doing with that ring?"
- 4:13:49 before the critical moment, Jack Noir bisects Feferi's dream self with his sword, while she is communicating with the gods of the Furthest Ring. He then stabs Nepeta's dream self three times through the chest, before using his powers to destroy the trolls' version of Derse. Meanwhile, far beneath the prototyping towers, wrapped in the purple fractal depths of the main planet, lies Aradia's dream self sleeping on her Quest Recuperacoon. When her dream self is killed, her robot explodes, and she ascends to god tier as a fully realized Maid of Time. Jack catches sight of her and swoops in for the kill, but she stops time relative to him at the last minute, buying her some time.
- Later, 03:14:01 before the critical moment, Vriska has just woken up to fight Tavros. Another 33 minutes pass, when Vriska appears right in front of him, starting the fight. She taunts him with his detached legs. Tavros charges full speed ahead and misses with his free shot. Vriska grabs Tavros's lance, turns it around, and stabs Tavros in the chest with it, right in the center of the "♉". She then throws his body into the abyss, smiling like a maniac.
Life and Death Edit
- Terezi is sitting on. Tavros lands dead on the same platform that a crying
- Kanaya views the point in Rose's timeline where she fades from Trollian's view for the 101st time, with the matriorb by her side, and decides to contact Jade in the future, as she was talking with Rose when the blackout happens and might know what it means. She speaks to future Jade, who demands a password, which Kanaya doesn't know. Jade tells her that she does this in order to keep her conversations with Kanaya and Karkat linear, and so that their past selves can't get any information on the future. She then stops talking with Kanaya, telling her that she will speak to her later.
- title. Kanaya tells Jade that one of the jobs of a hero of Space is the stoker of the forge, as well as breeding duties, the latter of which surprises Jade. Trying a different approach, Kanaya trolls Past Jade, with whom she has been having many conversations. She tells Jade to let her know what happens when Rose blacks out from Trollian's view, and Jade thanks her for her help with her
- Earth was also chosen as a planet to host Sburb. But then she realized, from finding a key in one of the lower areas of the meteor the trolls are on, that she would be able to hatch the Mother Grub inside the matriorb inside the meteor, but she has some worries about it. Jade tells her that she would be great at it, since her lusus was once a mother grub, she also has the capability to raise one. Kanaya alleviates Jade's worries, telling her that the equipment that they are setting up will be what helps her with "breeding duties". She then tells Jade about her job as the keeper of the matriorb. Kanaya had feared that she would not be able to complete her job, as
- Dave deploys the cloning apparatus at the top of Jade's house, she comments on the fact that it is very small, and cannot fit babies on there. Kanaya is initially confused, but realizes that Jade thinks that she will be cloning humans with the machine. Kanaya corrects her on this and tells her that what she will be cloning is frogs. When
- paradox clones, that she needs to create a slime imprint for the frog in order to clone it. Jade searches for a new frog and finds one in the forest, promising to catch it later. The result creates the slime imprint for the frog, which then becomes a tadpole. Kanaya tells Jade more about paradox clones- how they are destined to become themselves- and tells her that that is not the goal. The goal is to create as many diverse species of frogs possible. When Jade jokingly asks if she is creating the "ultimate frog", Kanaya tells her that she is right. The reason she is doing this is to create the Genesis Frog, a frog with a specific genetic code. Dave finishes deploying the rest of the equipment, and Jade tries to appearify a frog. She succeeds, but the frog is still frozen. Kanaya tells Jade, since she is not familiar with the rules of
- consorts all praise and await the creation of the Frog, as do the Prospitians. Dersites, however, hate his existence, and wish to stop his creation. They even go so far as to call him names such as "Speaker of the Vast Joke" or Bilious Slick, the latter of which the trolls ultimately start calling him, and Jade as well. When Jade asks if the frog has anything to do with the universe they are supposed to create, Kanaya affirms this, but Jade incorrectly assumes that the universe would be created and he would create the planets for it. Kanaya corrects her, telling her that the Genesis Frog is the created universe. Kanaya tells Jade more about the Genesis Frog, starting with the fact that it is a male. The
- stranger who dressed and spoke in white found her and put her to sleep, which allowed her to awaken on Prospit. She tells Jade that her guardian is the person that Rose has been speaking to, and that anything that he has planned with her cannot be good. Jade assures Kanaya that she will tell her what happens to Rose when she blacks out of view. Jade then decides to implement the password system, and is annoyed when Kanaya suggests the idea came from her future self, preferring to come up with it on her own rather than through stable time loops; which demonstrates why she wants the password system. She tells Kanaya the first password. Kanaya then leaves to hatch the matriorb. Kanaya then tells Jade about how she, much like Jade herself, had been awake on Prospit long before the trolls played their session of Sgrub. She then tells her how she wound up waking up on Prospit. At a young age Kanaya often had trouble sleeping, and would go out into the desert. One day a
- Terezi pushes Karkat away and transportalizes out of the room, Kanaya takes the Matriorb to go and hatch it in the center of the meteor. Before that she speaks with Feferi and Sollux, who are laying in the horn pile. Feferi tells Kanaya that Sollux is upset over losing Aradia, but she tells him that she is just fine. Kanaya then goes to speak to Karkat, and she asks what happened with Terezi. Karkat tells her that he doesn't know, and he wonders where everyone is, as Gamzee, Nepeta, Equius, Tavros, Vriska and Eridan are all missing. Kanaya then tells Karkat that she is going into the center of the meteor to hatch the matriorb.
At the 3:14 mark of the countdown, just after
- Karkat then speaks to Feferi and Sollux about Gamzee, as he is worried about him. Neither of them know where he is, so Karkat tells them to stay in the lab. Karkat then speaks to Kanaya about Jade and her password system, but he realizes that even though future Jade is annoying him with the password system, he really sees her as a friend. Kanaya asks Karkat if Terezi is aware of his contact with Jade. He tells her that she probably isn't, but even if she did she has no right to be upset, since she is speaking with Dave. He even goes so far as to say that she wasn't actually crying over Felt Duds Dave's death, but rather doing that for him. Kanaya tells him not to be so insensitive to people's feelings.
- As Kanaya is about to transportalize from the lab, Eridan transportalizes in, knocking her away. He talks to Kanaya, and thanks her for making his wand. He asks her where she's going, and she tells him about hatching the matriorb. Eridan, thinking that there was no more hope left, decides to become involved in this process, and asks Kanaya to wait for him. When he talks with Karkat he recalls his time on the Land of Wrath and Angels, and asks Karkat why no one wanted to travel with him there. Karkat tells him that no one wanted to hang out with him because he is a jerk to everyone, and because he was attacking the angels in his land constantly, who weren't supposed to be attacked and were attacking him in the process. Karkat then tells him to stay in the lab. Eridan goes up to Feferi and Sollux and asks to speak to Feferi. She tells him that she knows that he is trying to force the two out of their matespritship into an auspisticism one by constantly dueling Sollux. Eridan denies this outright and asks Feferi to go with him to find Jack Noir. Feferi and Sollux think that he is going to try to fight Noir, and she tries to get him to stop. Eridan tells her that it would be insane to fight Noir, and is instead going to join him. Feferi thinks he is a coward for this, and Eridan tells her that as the Prince of Hope, he can see that there is no more hope for them, and he wants to go to Jack to see if he could spare him, and wants Feferi to come along. Feferi and Sollux decide that they have to stop him, as trying to find Noir could lead him to their hideout on the meteor. Eridan and Sollux then begin Round Two of their duel.
- 2x3dent at him. Eridan blasts a hole through her, killing her. Kanaya, watching nearby, takes out her lipstick, while Eridan faces her with his wand ready. Eridan destroys the matriorb (ruining any hope the trolls have of repopulation) and kills Kanaya in short order. Eridan then absconds, leaving Karkat to gawp in utter disbelief at the situation. As Eridan and Sollux's energy beams clash, Eridan overpowers Sollux and blasts him into the wall, knocking him out. Feferi, enraged, brandishes her
- Trollian account open on her computer, Doc Scratch messages Karkat, and gives him some rather cryptic advice: "Don't turn your back on the body." Karkat is horrified to find Kanaya dead, relieved to find Sollux merely knocked out, and mostly apathetic at Feferi's fate. Using Kanaya's
- Gamzee is trolling him. He goes and answers Gamzee, who is fluctuating between all lowercase and all caps, and who laughs at the fact that Kanaya and Feferi are dead. Gamzee, who is finally losing the Sopor Slime effects, tells Karkat that he knows who he is now: part of a group called the High Subjugglators, who are higher than everyone. Gamzee then says that he is going to kill everyone. Karkat turns around and finds that all the bodies are still where they were before, but sees that
- Bard of Rage, has snapped, and reminds those further along on the time line of what he did to the Black King, and warns everyone to stay away from him. When past Gamzee responds to the memo, Karkat tells him it doesn't concern him, and bans him from responding. He says that he is going to try to revive Feferi and Kanaya, but can't bring himself to approach the horn pile, afraid that Gamzee will be there. When past Feferi answers the memo he says that he is sorry and bans her too. He also warns the others that Eridan is also killing people, and to stay away from him as well, but says that if he sees him he's going to kill him. Past Eridan then responds to the memo, chiding Karkat for believing in the use of wands. Karkat tells Eridan to forget about their "pact", something that Eridan does not know about. Karkat does not care, however, and says that he hates all instances of Eridan for what he did to Kanaya. Eridan thinks that Karkat is hitting on him, and Karkat has to keep telling him that he isn't. Before he bans Eridan, Karkat tells him that he is going to kill him. Future Gamzee then responds to the memo, telling Karkat that he knows where he is and what he's going to do, and suggests that they all sit down and talk. Karkat freaks out and closes the memo. Karkat opens a memo for when the trolls were still playing Sgrub, and warns them that Gamzee, the
- Meanwhile, Terezi finds Tavros's corpse and begins a crime scene investigation roleplay to determine the killer, even though she has no doubt that Vriska is to blame. During the roleplay, she hears Gamzee honking in the distance, but believes that he's simply fooling around. She then prepares to revive Tavros by kissing him, looking very much disgusted in the process. Meanwhile (which is to say, in the past) Karkat does the same with Kanaya. He and Terezi accomplish a rather messy 2xCORPSESMOOCH combo. Alas, neither= could be revived since their dream selves have already been slain.
- Rufio being mortally wounded by his nemesis, Captain Hook. Hussie flies in, wearing a Pupa Pan outfit and an expression of sorrow, delivering a eulogy to his fallen mentor and friend before attempting to revive him in the same way as Karkat and Terezi did. This is stupid, indeed. The scene transitions to
It's Not a Tumor Edit
- John watches Hussie through the prophetic clouds, mesmerized by what he is seeing, with who he calls the Wizardly Vassal accompanying him. He then snaps out of it and spots a wallet on the floor. When he opens it he finds that it is Dad's Fetch Modus, and a note inside reveals to John that by finding the wallet his father deems him old enough to use it. He obtains several captchalogue cards, the first of which contains one ton of shaving cream. WV? notices these and decides to eat the shaving cream, spitting it out, then eating it some more. In an effort to save time, John ejects all the contents from the captchalogue cards and views their contents, which include a pile of pipes, a pile of razor blades, a spare car, shoes, hats, ties, issues of The Serious Jester, ticket stubs from a Cirque du Soleil show (a memory John does not want to recall), a briefcase, pictures, a laptop, ten tons of pipe tobacco, and a lighter. He looks briefly at the photographs, then at the laptop, celebrating for finally having a way to contact his friends again. He cleans everything up and just as he is about to leave WV?, behind the wheel of the car, honks the horn loudly at him. Rolling his eyes, John decides to get in. Meanwhile,
- Gamzee's eye appearing in one of the clouds, as he is watching Jade's house get destroyed. John buckles up with WV? doing the same. He notices that the sash part of the seat belt looks good on him, but forgets it since it buckles him into the car. He then tries to move, but his feet cannot reach the pedals, and John points out that he doesn't even have the keys. John does the Windy Thing instead, and the car floats away, with
- cloning pad shenanigans. As the car begins flying along the checkered spires surrounding the fully-prototyped Skaia, John informs Jade about images he saw in the prophetic clouds, including one of her surrounded by a great number of frogs (the involvement of which with her repopulating mission she's still unaware of at this moment); the conversation then switches to Jade's much lamented dream self prototyping and John's ascent to god tier, then to WV? being in possession of the Queen's Ring (John deciding to trust him with it, believing he and the ring share a common fate), and then finally to Dad's whereabouts. Jade finds out where Dad is located using her Spectagoggles, and informs John he's currently in a castle somewhere on the planet's surface, having "some sort of tea party" with Rose's Mom. John is obviously (ironically) upset by the potential effects of such a development on Karkat's shipping diagram and his future romantic involvement with Rose. He asks Jade for proper directions, but Jade is unable to give him coordinates as she's not even sure about how the Spectagoggles work, and tells him to keep looking for clues in the clouds. John then uses the Crosbytop to pester Jade, who fills him in on Dave's new position as her server player as well as her own
- Karkat trolls John, telling him that this might be the last time he gets to speak to him. He complains about the honking sounds and apologizes to a worried John, telling him that he hopes he will be a better leader then he was. Very concerned now, John pesters Karkat, who is fine and is very irate with him. John realizes that this is a past Karkat and says that he wants to talk to future Karkat.
- Sollux in tow, but he's so distressed from the relentless honking echoing around him that they both fall down stairs. They both land at the bottom of the stairs, with Sollux missing some teeth, and Karkat notices Terezi has been trolling him. Her messages inform Karkat that Tavros is dead, and that she is conducting an analysis to find out who did it (though she knows it's Vriska). She then tells him that she's going to try to revive Tavros, before signing off. Karkat tries to contact Terezi to warn her that Vriska is the least of their problems; Terezi's account trolls Karkat back with a honk, prompting him to freak out and block the account from messaging him. Karkat checks on Sollux and notices his teeth fell out during the fall, so he tries to put them back into his mouth to hide the fact that he dropped him, with really poor results. He then trolls Equius and ask for help against all his murderous comrades. Equius is really uncomfortable about both the implications of killing someone higher than he is in the caste system (Gamzee) and Eridan's constant advances, but assures Karkat he'll do what it takes to protect the others. Reflected in Equius's glasses, Nepeta watches the conversation. Future Karkat flees deeper into the lab with an unconscious
- samples it, then finds Feferi's corpse lying in the horn pile. Upon closer inspection, she finds out Feferi's body sports two additional wounds on her neck, surrounded by a halo of jade green blood. She then proceeds to theorize Vriska's involvement in all these murders under the effects of literal bloodthirstiness, but she immediately dismisses the notion as nonsensical. Meanwhile, Kanaya's body and a certain Knight of Blood are nowhere to be seen. Terezi goes back to the computer lab in order to find another way to communicate with the other trolls after having accidentally kicked her glasses into the pit along with part of her forensics team. She finds the huge pool of Kanaya's blood,
- Aradia's death, which he is still hurt over. She tells him of her dream on Derse, shortly before she died, where she saw a newly risen Aradia, who says that she will see Equius soon. They then have another talk in the robot pile, and then do a short roleplay. Nepeta leaves and enters the ducts. There, from looking into the grates, she sees the word "honk" written in Tavros's blood, along with his spear, and Terezi's scalemates, torn to shreds. Through another grate, she sees "are you next? :o)". Leaving the grates, she enters another room with two transportalizers, one of which is broken in half and the other inoperative. Along the floor is a trail of jade green blood, leading to the shut-down transportalizer. Entering another grate, she goes down to the end and looks through, and witnesses something that shocks her.
Inside of Equius's room, he and Nepeta talk about him finding Gamzee. Equius tells Nepeta to hide in a nearby room so that she will be safe. Before leaving, Nepeta talks with him about
- Meanwhile, after barricading Nepeta's room with some crates, Equius goes through the lab looking for Gamzee. He comes across a slain Inquisiclops, killed from arrows shot through the eyes. He sees someone in a familiar pair of red glasses and thinks that it is Terezi, but when the troll calls him a peasantblood and tells him to kneel, he realizes that it is Gamzee. He tells Gamzee that they should talk, and Gamzee says that he should kneel. When Equius asks him to repeat the command, Gamzee screams it and fires an arrow through Equius's knee, forcing him to genuflect. Gamzee walks towards him to begin the subjugglation, snapping the bow he was carrying and using it to throttle Equius. Gamzee then enters Murder Mode, as Equius chokes. At first, Equius is terrified, but the idea of being subjug(gl)ated by someone of higher blood causes him to start sweating and smiling. He falls dead on the floor, still smiling. Nepeta watches all this from the ventilation duct.
- turns towards her. He takes his Deuce Clubs out from his Jokerkind specibus, ready for her attack. She swipes at him, but he catches her hand in mid-air. He then proceeds to slowly scratch his own insanely grinning face with her claws. He drops her and she falls, looking on as the smile disappears from his face. He begins to honk. Nepeta pounces from the duct towards Gamzee, who slowly
- Skaia, the car crashes into a tree with a loud "BEEP". John and the Wizardly Vassal are unharmed because of their seatbelts. John recaptchalogues the car, even though it is broken. He crashes near the castle where he believes Dad and Rose's Mom are. As he walks through the castle though, Vriska trolls him, telling him that the two are in another castle. She asks John if he is mad at her, with John honestly confused as to why he would be. Vriska explains to him that she deceived him, and wound up getting him killed, even though it was for a good cause. John tells her that he should be thanking her for what she did, and reminds her that she gave him a choice and he chose to ascend. Vriska says she is relieved to hear that he isn't angry, but when John asks if that is what she wanted to talk about, she tells him no. On
- someone, and when John asks her why, she says that she felt like she had to. She explains how they adventured together, with her trying to make him strong, but he never got it, and when he finally decided to be strong and confront her, it was too late so she killed him in anger. She tells John that he's the only person she can speak to about how she feels, since speaking to any of the trolls about it might make them think she's weak. She says that she feels horrible for it, but she doesn't know why, since on her planet she would be congratulated for it. John thinks that this is the first time Vriska has killed anyone, but she corrects him: it's the first time she killed someone she cared about. She talks about her life before Sgrub, where she killed thousands of trolls in order to feed her lusus, and then she remembers that she killed Aradia as well. They then talk about the difference between their cultures, before talking about the game. Vriska thinks that the game knows that children are going to be playing and gives them challenges that would make them grow up, and she says that's the reason their game split them up into two teams, because it knew that their culture was violent and they would start killing each other. She theorizes that they probably would have all made the god tiers. She then blames Karkat for their success and why they didn't kill each other, saying that he was too good a leader, and that his constant need to be one and to keep everyone working together was why they won. She says Karkat isn't even a good troll, that he'd be better suited to being a human—something that John promises not to tell him. She says that she killed
- The Veil, Terezi trolls Karkat, but because he blocked her account he doesn't receive the message. She talks about the developments she discovered in the lab, and warns Karkat to stay away from Vriska. She also mentions that only she knows how to deal with Vriska, and tells him not to let Vriska drink his blood, as it belongs to her. Meanwhile, Karkat stares at the empty ectobiology equipment, and bemoans his fate while wishing he never created everyone in the first place. He remembers the other 12 grubs that he created, and wonders if they are the true heroes and he and his friends are just superfluous. He then wonders if "she" was right about the trolls. From behind him, Sollux begins to stir, and awakens, with eyes completely blacked out, spitting out his teeth. Back in
- custodian, as John does, but she does have an attachment to a troll who lived long ago: Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. Before she was old enough to start feeding her lusus, she was afraid of the responsibility that came with doing that job. One day a shooting star fell across the planet, and she found a chest where it landed. On the chest was her sign, unique because the sign is an insignia specific to her class. Inside of the chest were Mindfang's journals, which document her time leading a group known as the Gamblignants. Vriska became how she is by reading them, and also found her Fluorite Octet during her RP days because of the notes Mindfang left behind. Vriska tells John that in addition to the twelve trolls, Karkat also created an additional twelve grubs, who all became their ancestors. John relates to her story by telling her that his Nanna was someone he never actually met, but based his life off of her, who based her life off of Colonel Sassacre. Vriska tells John that his life on Earth was easy compared to hers, and John tells her that he recommends being human. John asks Vriska if she is still going to fight Jack. She is unsure, because she put so many feelings into killing one person that she doesn't know if she's strong enough to fight him. John isn't sure he wants Vriska fighting Noir by herself, and reminds her that they have a plan. Vriska wonders if she truly does have all the luck, and that knowing that there's no risk to something means that there's no bravery behind it. She brings up something from earlier in their conversation, where she said that she did not relate to John's attachment to his father, and says that she lied. She has no attachment to her
- typing differently, and he reckons it's because he's blind and because Karkat knocked out all of his teeth. He says that Karkat wants to talk to her, but he wants to talk to her first, about being blind. When Terezi asks how it happened, Sollux tells her about Eridan's attack. When she asks him if he knows about Feferi, he tells her he does and he's okay with it. He says that he's happy because the voices he heard in his head, the voices of the soon-to-be dead, which were getting louder, had finally fallen silent. He guesses that the voices he heard were them, and that since he no longer hears them it means they don't have to die anymore. He asks if Terezi has any tips for being blind, but she is unsure of her ability as a teacher. When Sollux assures her that she'll be fine, she decides to do it and asks where they are. As Sollux is about to ask Karkat, Terezi mentions smelling something brighter in the lab, and stops answering. After waking up, Sollux trolls Terezi, who is glad to know that some others besides her are alright. She asks him why he's
- Mad Snacks Yo but is forced to restart the game for the third time in an hour after his player character gets stuck in a pole. Before he can do so, however, Aradia begins trolling him. At first he doesn't believe that she is what and where she says she is, and tries to turn off his phone. However, he finds himself unable to stop talking to her. Dave at this point believes he is in a dream of some sort. He then looks out the window, and when he can't find her turns around to find her standing in his room. As Dave starts to recollect his memories and change his appearance accordingly, his room begins to melt away into the LOHACSE, then his Quest Bed, whereupon blood from his neck splatters onto his clothes and glasses as he recalls getting neck-slashed by Bec Noir. At this point, he realizes that he is in the afterlife as a doomed Dave (though as Aradia notes, one that is accessible via dream bubbles), while reverting to the clothes he had on before Sburb. Meanwhile in what appears to be the past, Dave begins playing
- LOWAS, where Dave's Bro fought his final duel, and find the alpha Dave standing over Bro's corpse while talking to Terezi. Dave and Aradia discuss how they "have to be prepared to die a thousand deaths before [their] quest is complete", because "the master [they] serve demands it". She also says that he cannot do anything to prevent the events that transpired since it's no longer within his control. Arriving at her hive , they discuss what happens in the afterlife, which amounts to learning about the nature of existence and meeting up with old friends and new friends-to-be, among other things. Aradia herself compares time to a game in reality's cupboard, one that one would not realize how much fun it was until it was put back in said cupboard. She invites Dave to come into her hive, but he wishes to go back to his place, which they do. There, he meets Tavros, who proceeds to give him fires sick enough to need a doctor. Aradia then confirms Dave's suspicion that he too is dead, and confesses she is very much glad to be alive again. Dave and Aradia then warp to
- The Tumor, and John asks how he should go about finding it—if he should find a cave to the center of Skaia. Vriska says he could do that, or he could cheat by using his newfound wind powers. She won't tell him how to use them, but tells him to "8e cre8tive". John asks her to not let this be the last time he hears from her, and makes her promise to message him before she leaves to fight Noir. Vriska agrees, and stops trolling John. John then gets "cre8tive", creating a cyclone out of wind powers and spinning it rapidly like a drill. John increases the size and the power of the cyclone, with WV? flying around in the air, and sends it tunneling into the ground. The Battlefield quakes, and in a castle elsewhere on Skaia, with the clouds showing John drilling into the ground, Dad and Rose's Mom continue their date. Through Bro's shades, Bec Noir watches the two lovers. John and Vriska finish their conversation, with Vriska about to leave to fight Jack, and John to find his father. Vriska reminds him of his job to find
- Orphaner Dualscar, Eridan's ancestor. Dualscar became upset whenever Mindfang began to experiment in more flushed relationships. She thought he felt this way because she did not care about the caste system in regards to choices for matesprits, and that this disturbed him. While he watched, she summoned a slave from the hold of their ship. Using mind control powers, she forced the girl to undress her while Dualscar watched, and she inattentively talked to him. She wondered if the girl would become her true matesprit, and during her thoughts Dualscar slipped away. She hoped that the experience would blacken their kismesissitude, because if he felt jealous of her choices, then she would have to end their relationship. Vriska opens up Mindfang's journal to read it one more time. Inside, the journalog depicts her kismesissitude with
- Gamzee appears with one of his juggling sticks covered in Nepeta's blood, wearing Equius's shades and Nepeta's cat hat. Meanwhile in the journal, Dualscar tried to report Mindfang's activities to the Grand Highblood, Gamzee's ancestor, but he was subjugglated instead. Dualscar, in his jealousy, had Mindfang's potential matesprit assassinated, and used his own money to place a larger bounty on her head. As such, Mindfang broke off their kismesissitude. In a reflection of this, their descendants, Vriska and Eridan, face each other down as Eridan is attempting to leave the lab to join Jack. Before they can fight
- Redglare (Terezi's ancestor), but she considered herself above the law and in a fit of hubris refused to consult her oracle for advice. The perspective switches to Terezi, who is asleep and has bite marks on her chin with a bandage covering them. In the journal, Mindfang was put on trial by an up-and-coming legislacerator known as
- The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, but before any fighting can ensue Kanaya approaches, her wound covered by Eridan's cape, and a bright light coming from her body. She immediately kicks Gamzee so hard in the shame globes that he falls off the platform, honking all the way. Vriska is left nonplussed at this turn of events. Kanaya then proceeds to punch Vriska so hard she knocks one of her pupils out of place. Vriska, Gamzee, and Eridan face each other down à la
snapsdebunks it. Exacting some tasty revenge, she retrieves her Chainsaw and saws Eridan in half, raining immense amounts of blood on the floor. Kanaya then proceeds to nab Eridan's science wand, and promptly
- As Kanaya finishes, Equius's shades, still floating in the air from when she kicked Gamzee, descend onto her face as her chainsaw turns back into lipstick. She then proceeds to apply the lipstick with Eridan's blood still all over it and lick her lips. Meanwhile, Vriska is lying on the ground looking at her dumbfounded and matespritship-struck.
- Jack Noir has just finished slaughtering Rose's Mom and Dad. He tries to accessorize himself with Lil Cal's shirt and hat, Dad's pipe, hat and shoes, Mom's scarf, Bro's glasses and a cake (in various permutations), before he realizes he's becoming vain and forgetting his own hatred of ludicrous attire. From then on, he swears off taking trophies from his kills, keeping only Lil Cal inside his body. Meanwhile in the kids' session,
- John. But before he can work up the murderous thoughts to restart his killing spree, his mind wanders into canine interests. He represses those thoughts, but then finds himself thinking of love and loyalty to Jade, due to influence from Becquerel's prototyping. It is revealed that these feelings kept him from murdering her on LOFAF. Then out of boredom he sniffs out new prey for his onslaught, finding the scent of
- Draconian Dignitary, and tells him to find and kill Jade, since he can't do it. DD? tells him that he will make the Courtyard Droll do the job, as he has to run the Sovereign Slayer's kingdom while he's off on murderous destructive rampages. He also tells Jack to cut back on the murderous destructive rampages, as he isn't much of a king without any subjects. DD? speaks to CD?, who is still on the battlefield looking for the Queen's Ring with a friend. DD? tells him that he has failed that mission, and that he wants him to find and kill Jade. CD? says he will do it, but first he wants to investigate the tornado blowing around Skaia. DD? tells him that he can, but must also prepare for his mission and departure to LOFAF. Noir wonders if he will always be bored because of his new-found powers and insatiable rage. Noir decides to speak to the
- Aradia, and again he feels the boredom and rage creeping up on him. It has been hours since his attack on the trolls' Incipisphere, where he destroyed all twelve planets, Prospit and Derse. He decides to wait until Aradia drops the time lock, ready to strike when she does. He fails and decides to teleport out. Aradia, knowing that he is going to break out soon and kill her, decides to release him, not wanting to die. As soon as she releases the time lock, Noir lunges for Aradia, who inexplicably disappears into his warping after-image. She travels to the Green Sun, and basks in its warm glow, preparing to help some "friends" who are coming. Meanwhile in the future, Jack Noir is still time stuck by
- Crosbytop and one of Dad's fedoras. Aradia flies to a dream bubble which happens to have her memories of when Jack Noir first entered the trolls' session. Entering it, she realizes that it is not just her memories, but also those of a certain doomed-timeline Aradia who was restrained by Lil Cal (when Jack threw him at her). That Aradia warps to somewhere in paradox space and promptly collides with a meteor heading to a defense portal. The meteor travels to a point in time when Aradia was alive, excavating a dig site with her lusus. The meteor lands close to Aradia, who goes and investigates the crash. The meteor lands into a cave, where, upon investigating, Aradia finds the Frog Temple ruins. Inside the impact crater, she finds the remains of Lil Cal and an Aradiabot's horn. Inside of Lil Cal's pocket is Dad's Wallet Modus, from which Aradia obtains the
- Sollux, who almost recalls remembering their conversation as a memory but quickly dismisses it. Dissatisfied with the way the conversation is going, god tier Aradia intervenes just as they are about to end it. The second Aradia remembers her end and that she is now dead, turning into the Aradiabot (and changing her text color to reflect this), while Sollux wonders why he is talking like Aradia. He believes that he is also dead, but Aradia, traveling with the Aradiabot to his hive, tells him that he is just sleeping, and that he is blind. She also says that the reason he has changed his typing quirk to hers is because he realizes that he is now doomed. When he hears a noise in his hive, Aradia tells him that it is just Jade, who is also sleeping and came to talk with them. Aradia then reports her discoveries to
- Furthest Ring to everyone, and that the very first bubble she visited would be important. As everyone is teleported outside, Aradia enacts a plan to understand their existence and overall purpose in Sgrub, using memories to gain insight therein. Aradia then explains the mechanics of spacetime in the
- Kanaya regading Lil Cal, but she catches on quickly to being in a dream bubble. Kanaya reveals that she repaired the puppet and gave him a new outfit, although unsurprisingly it began to make her feel uneasy as well so she put it away safely in her respiteblock. At this point, Sollux leaves, about to wake up from a white-science-induced nap. Aradia attempts to re-enact a conversation she had with
- Tavros on his back, recalling the incident where he was forced to jump off a cliff by Vriska. He gets up and join the group, then everyone heads to his hive, where on the walls he had scrawled various permutations of the characters of the word "t1CK" in white host plush blood. The same also applies to Aradia with the word "t0ck" in black soot, Vriska with "8r8k" (three distinct characters) in her own blood, and Terezi with "H34DS" in red chalk. At this point, Terezi and Vriska realize they are in a memory and join the party. Aradia shows that these four codes were the key to the genetic code that would eventually create a certain individual, and that they would be transcribed in their respective Flarp rulebooks. Aradiabot, however, sees something else. She directs everyone to Gamzee's hive, where on its walls he wrote permutations of "honk HONK" in green sopor slime. The party finds
- Karkat's hive in the same doomed timeline. The alternate Karkat and Terezi were murdered by a rampaging Gamzee, and Aradiabot reveals that in Karkat's ~ATH manual he wrote a code using the very same characters as before, but now with the blood of all of his friends. At this, Terezi, Kanaya, Vriska, and Jade wake up. However, Aradiabot had lost the blood-stained book shortly after maintaining the correctness of the alpha timeline, while the four former Flarpers lost their rulebooks. The party then travels to
- Black Queen of the trolls' session ectobiologically creates Doc Scratch from ghost imprints of Lil Cal and Vriska's Magic Cue Ball, using reference from the four rulebooks and the manual. The
- We once again try to be Scratch, and fail yet again. Thus, Scratch himself decides to narrate his portion of the tale. He is currently expecting a guest who he knows is already here. Said guest seems to be Spades Slick (with an eyepatch and robotic arm), who immediately tries to break Scratch's unbreakable head. Scratch puts up with the abuse for a few minutes before taking the horse hitcher Slick was wielding and twisting it into something utterly useless. He mentions to Slick that he is soon going to beat him severely until he does what Scratch is going to ask him to do, but first he has to talk to someone.
The Blackout Edit
- Rose starts pestering her "informant" (Scratch) and they converse about casual matters such as being patient, Scratch's charisma and bad jokes, and Spades Slick setting things on fire. They proceed to talk about the scratch, because he begins to creep Rose out by telling her to see him as an uncle who has candy for her.
- Scratch reveals that for the scratch to occur, the Beat Mesa must be completely destroyed by bisecting it with the Quills of Echidna. Even more importantly, the scratch itself will function as a hard reset, completely changing the circumstances of the players' lives and permanently obliterating their previous incarnations, unless those incarnations find a way to preserve themselves. Scratch leaves it up to Rose and her friends on how to accomplish the preservation; he himself says that everything after the scratch is none of his business.
- Lrd English, who he says is a "very evil man", more powerful than even Jack Noir. He then offers Rose the use of the Magic Cue Ball, knowing her title and her use of prognostication tools. He also tells Rose about the result of reaching god tier, namely immortality unless the player is slain as a hero or corrupted and slain by a hero. The discussion turns to
- Scratch begins guiding her to the answer through many questions, the first being, "How does a Seer see?". She first thinks to use the crystal ball, but it can't zoom in on the ball's answers, so she asks him if she should use other magic. He asks her if she has been using magic this whole time, and when she reminds him of her needles, asks her if she really thinks that the needles are what gave her her powers. He then tells her that she was taught to become the dark user she is, much like a "dutiful girl raised in the daylight [who] was protected by a bulb-headed guardian, and learned to glow in the dark after death", and a "vengeful boy on a path of nihilism [who] was taken under the wings of fearsome angels, and learned to destroy hope with their light". He then reminds her that her friends are worried about the path she is taking, and that she is slowly distancing herself from them, not even bothering to answer when they pester her. Scratch then tells her to simply ask a question and look at the ball. When Rose asks how to use the ball,
- Dad and her Mother. Rose stops answering Jade and immediately looks into her crystal ball, where she sees, with a look of shock and horror, her mother and John's father dead, with Jack Noir simply sitting between them. Rose activates her powers to ask the ball what to do. The ball responds "Answer Jade". When she speaks to Jade, she apologizes for not answering, but Jade tells her it is alright because she must be busy. When she asks Rose if she is alright, Rose is confused, until Jade tells her about what happened to John's
- Doc Scratch interrupts, and has Rose ask the cue ball for another answer. However, when she does, the cue ball replies with various eldritch messages, filling her with a dreadful new resolve. Rose laments the loss of her mother and, against Jade's advice, decides to kill Jack herself. Midway through the conversation,
- familiars who are failing to not be alarmed as she goes completely grimdark. She tries to resist the urge to get revenge, but fails, climbing atop the Beat Mesa and jumping off to Skaia. Kanaya views the ensuing blackout on Equius's shades, while Vriska laments losing her own glasses. Rose begins to black out in front of her
- Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, Andrew Hussie intervenes for a time out. He gets WV to give him a yardstick, but it's actually a meter-stick, sending him into a fit of frenzy. He
snapssnops the ruler to make it into a yardstick, then directly addresses the viewers, saying he'll end up involved in the story somehow, before deciding to refocus on John. In the style of
- John travels down to the core and finds The Tumor. As he looks around, he sees the symbols for his and his friends' respective aspects, with Dave's symbol even having a cut through it. He looks into the window of The Tumor, and finds a blue pyramid counting down from 10 hours and 25 minutes until its explosion. Then he captchalogues The Tumor, using the Wallet Modus. After doing this he flies out from inner Skaia. With the tunnel into the heart of Skaia complete,
- Courtyard Droll and Liv Tyler find John and WV?. In a fit of excitement, CD? forgets his main objective. John happily reunites with the bunny, but wonders where the weapons went. Liv mimes that she doesn't know, but guesses that they blew away in the wind. As she says this, the Warhammer of Zillyhoo appears and bonks John on the head. The
- penpal, whose initial is J. The note reveals that the bunny (which it calls Terry Kiser) also came with the ability to manipulate the size of the weapons she came with. The note also talks a bit about his grandmother, who knew a lot about space and was a witch with it. John immediately figures that it is Jade, with all the time shenanigans. Liv Tyler/Terry Kiser then hugens the hammer. John celebrates, giving CD? a high five while raising the hammer. As everyone basks in its technicolor glory, however, Gamzee approaches a completely fearful Karkat with the same hammer. John takes the Warhammer, noting how silly it must look for him to wield it at its current size. Then Liv hands John a note from Jade's
ordersa highly authoritative series of friendly requests. First, CD? uses his club-shaped brooch to patch up Liv's eye, then John uses his wind powers to raise a Dersite battleship, and asks Liv to pilot it, promoting her to Captain Tyler. The captain littlefies the ship to be more easily manageable, and John gives the wallet to WV? with the mission of delivering The Tumor to dream Rose, as he is going to look for his father. He also figures that CD? can go along too, even though he doesn't know who he is. As John bids farewell to his comrades, Jade pesters him to warn him about Rose, but he doesn't receive it since the laptop is in the wallet modus. After celebrating getting the hammer, John notices that Liv Tyler (the name he decides on for her) is missing her green eye, and that she is gesticulating in the direction of WV?. Noticing the chaos, John dons his hood and begins to give everyone
- John notices a (grim)dark aura on the horizon, and decides to investigate, wondering if his father is there. As he does, Vriska contacts him through Rose's computer, asking him to get back in touch with her after chiding him for losing his laptop again.
- Seer: Descend for more information. Rose descends upon the castle, searching for Jack. Instead, she finds John, and assists him in his search for Dad. See
- The two confront Jack at the site where he killed Mom and Dad. John is horrified at the revelation, and he and Rose prepare to attack when Jack stabs John through the chest again. John falls to the ground, seemingly dead. Rose flies into a rage and attacks Jack; their attacks collide, causing an explosion.
- Dave finds his Bro's corpse and has a heartfelt talk with Terezi. He contemplates taking the sword out of Bro horizontally (that is, snap it in half) to not get blood on it, but Terezi does not want him to do so. When he tries to break it, the sword simply bounces him away instead. Laying on the floor and refusing to get up, Dave talks with Terezi about reaching god tier. Afterwords they talk about why no one is going after Jack directly, and about a voice in his head telling him to do things. Terezi tells him that he may be in contact with an Exile. Meanwhile,
- Aimless Renegade has found a means to contact Dave, and his words seem to be affecting Dave (who echoes them unintentionally). Meanwhile, AR has prepared the outrageously illegal Bec Head Base for demolition. At this point, the
- Nepeta's body near some of Vriska's items, and a tube holding a prototyped carapace which looks similar to Gamzee's lusus, while on her way to Vriska. It is now the second anniversary of Homestuck, and also the end of Disc 1. However, we cannot find Disc 2, since it's somehow missing! Terezi seeks rightful vengeance upon Vriska, just like the Legislacerators of old. She comes upon
- PSYCHE as we find Terezi captchaloguing the Homestuck portfolio. She then finds a page from Mindfang's journal, stabbed to the ground with one of Nepeta's claws. It has purple blood scrawled on it, but Terezi assumes that Vriska wrote it after killing Gamzee. When she tries to inspect it, however, the floor gives way to the secret shop found in many a walkaround Flash, including Alterniabound. Gamzee is flashing in and out of it all the while, taunting her. As it turns out, however, it was all a
- Lil Cal, which Gamzee immediately teleports to another area, Bro-style. She finds the stairs to be clogged with a massive horn pile, and the door locked. Even with the evidence before her, she is still convinced Vriska was behind it all. Terezi gets up and finds a Felt-Duds-wearing
- who this douchebag is. Terezi decides to give the phonograph a listen, but is turned off by Eddie Morton's 1909 song "I'm a Member of the Midnight Crew". She puts it back in its sleeve, which shows a green portrait of Morton. Terezi wonders
- scratches the disc. Not wanting to damage it further, she captchalogues it in the Homestuck portfolio. Inside the sleeve is Homestuck Disc 2. However, Terezi mistakes this for an unusually small record and tries playing it on the phonograph. This predictably
- Redglare outfit in a chest (which she had not worn since her Flarping days a long time ago), and puts it on. In the adjacent chest, she finds Pyralspite, her partner-in-justice and favorite scalemate. She gives him a hug, but Gamzee switches Lil Cal for him. Terezi finds her old
- lusus Pyralspite's bright glare. The lusus also ate Mindfang's lusus and burned her fleet. Now in captivity, Mindfang was awaiting trial, hoping to manipulate events to bring down the Neophyte. Terezi finds Pyralspite on top of the bookcase. Taking him, she finds a dare by "Vriska" to challenge her to a duel, and to bring Cal along. She turns it over to read the journal entry. Here, Mindfang had lost an arm to Redglare, and an eye to her
- Disc 2 is inserted.
- Terezi reads the note (which was indeed written by Gamzee trying to emulate Vriska's quirk), and gathers the scalemates before climbing the stairs to meet Vriska, who is currently trying to contact John through Rose's computer. Meanwhile, in the past, events play out as Mindfang wrote them in her journal.
- Mindfang was standing trial for her notoriety. However, she realized that the jury was mostly comprised of lowbloods. She took this opportunity to mind-control them to have Redglare hanged before she can speak. Mindfang only regretted a missed opportunity for a kismesis with Redglare. With the courtblock cleared, Mindfang took the late prosecutor's dragon cane and engaged a duel against His Honorable Tyranny, a monstrous being who presided over the courtblock as judge and executioner.
- Equius's ancestor "Expatri8" Darkleer, both for an arm amputation and to retrieve the treasure he'd been keeping safe for her. As she held the Magic Cue Ball, Mindfang wondered if she should use it to figure out what to do next. She regretted using the ball too much, and coming to be complacent during the events it unfolded to her, such as Redglare's attack on her fleet. Her biggest regret was asking the ball how she would die, as it revealed a prophecy shown to come true in the current trolls' timeline. With that done, Mindfang visited a friend of hers,
- Tavros's ancestor, the Summoner. He would grow to become the greatest Cavalreaper, though only of common blood, and his further pupation would reveal wings with which he took to the skies, eventually even taming Pyralspite. This would spur his army to rebel against the Highbloods, much like another not-spoken-of rebellion led by one known as the Sufferer, Karkat's ancestor. The result of the Summoner's rebellion would make the Condesce, Feferi's ancestor, force all mature trolls off Alternia to fight her wars in space, leaving only the children behind on the planet. To Mindfang, though, the most important part of these revelations was that the Summoner would be the one to kill her. In the final page of her journal, Mindfang was resigned to her eventual fate, deciding to hide away the Oracle somewhere on the planet. Her last words were a warning to the one who would find her journal and the orb, saying that the truth from the Oracle would leave them as blind as she was. The prophecy speaks of Mindfang's matesprit and
- her alleged crimes of mass murder. Vriska, however, only confesses Tavros's murder, and dares the Seer to challenge her. Terezi decides to resolve this case by flipping her coin; heads she stays, and "scratch" she goes. The coin just swings into Vriska's eyes' view as glitches abound. Many of them. Terezi confronts Vriska, detailing
- a scratch doctor, who has it repaired. However, he claims that by the time he finishes the heroes will have almost put the scratch into motion, so he will do his best to summarize the events between the coin flip and the scratch. The glitches completely overwhelm the scratched Disc 2, making it unplayable. So it is taken to
The scratch(ed disc) Edit
- The following events are part of an interlude taking place in Doc Scratch's abode, either told by Scratch himself or shown via the banner at the top of the screen.
- Doc Scratch remembers that he has guests coming so he hurries to begin telling the story. He briefly forgets where the reader left off, but then he quickly remembers it due to his unfathomable intellect. He turns to a small television in a corner of his room to show us the showdown between Terezi and Vriska, restating their terms of the coin flip. According to him, the answer is obvious—Vriska uses her luck to make the coin fall scratched-side-up, while Terezi has already anticipated it. He then states that he has little interest in gambling, saying that a loser is born with each tick of a clock and a cheater with every tock, and that gambling is boring and he is a very wealthy man.
- Scratch says that their tale is not quite finished though, but in order to understand its conclusion, the reader would have to catch up with the other Hero of Light, who was soon going to message him. According to Scratch, when Terezi says "go", she does not mean that Vriska could leave. Her "go" is a code, meaning that she would kill Vriska while she turned her back. However, Vriska already knows this, and Terezi knows that she knows this, so the challenge is in Terezi's hands: will she be able to go through with killing Vriska? The answer turns out to be no. As Vriska flies away to go after Noir, Terezi can only stand and watch, unable to go through with the deed.
- strife, with John lying dead behind them. Rose Oglo-Parries one of Jack's moves and counters. Both fly off the platform as eldritch tentacles form from behind her. However, as Scratch spoils, Rose won't win the fight. As such, Jack finds an opportunity to teleport-stab her and drain her vial, while Scratch notes that he "told her about stares". He further condenses the story, saying that Rose dies, Noir leaves, and a little later John comes back to life. Scratch says that the results of this were obvious, as John when the scratch is about to be initiated. He changes his television screen to show an alive John standing amongst Rose's familiars, then to John standing on a platform high above the Beat Mesa, with Rose's bloodied Needlekind specibus in hand. At a destroyed section of Skaia, Rose and Bec Noir begin Round Two of their
- Scratch talks about John's death further, noting that when John finally does die, it won't be as a bad person, even though he had Vriska as a mentor. He also notes that had he mentored John, he would have been able to do some bad things, or at the very least would have had better jokes. But instead, he laments, he got Vriska, who flies off to go confront Noir. She reaches the trolls' finalized form of The Battlefield, and spots Noir standing on the platform with the remains of the Ultimate Reward. As she flies close, Noir gets a sniff of her fairy trail, and teleports off to find the other trolls, leaving Vriska to stand there and realize her mistake.
- The Veil he completely destroys the hideout, then returns to Vriska to start their duel, presenting the slain bodies of Karkat and Terezi. This makes Vriska extremely angry. She uses her Fluorite Octet, and because of her control over luck, rolls eight eights. This allows her to activate Ancestral Awakening, changing her garb reminiscent of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, and giving her a sword. Noir attacks Vriska, who easily Auto-Pirates the strike. Vriska attacks Noir and drains his health vial, and he does the same to her. It appears, to the Slayer, that he finally has a challenge, and Scratch notes that while he isn't a gambling man (something that hasn't stopped happening), he would not put his bets on Vriska to lose the battle. However, it turns out that this entire reality is in fact an offshoot timeline. As a Seer of Mind, Terezi was able to see this doomed timeline triggered by Vriska's actions. Consequently, she decides to go through with killing Vriska, stabbing her right through the Light symbol. As Vriska falls, Karkat approaches. In his hand he holds a note written in Gamzee's blood, with Terezi's writing quirk. Karkat and Terezi embrace, with Kanaya and a recently bitten Sollux, who is wearing Feferi's goggles, not far off. Behind them, Gamzee lurks, ready to Warhammer the Zillyhoo out of the four.
When he reaches
- Meanwhile, Scratch prepares for his guests in the top banner, filling up a bowl of licorice scotty dogs for Spades Slick. Events play out as they did earlier in the act, when the Readers tried to be Scratch. Eventually, Slick gets bored and decides to set something on fire. This "something" turns out to be Doc Scratch's whole room. The fire gets out of control easily, so Scratch pulls the fire alarm, summoning Matchsticks to put out the fire. When the fire is put out, Slick returns and kills Matchsticks with Crowbar's crowbar. Clover enters the room and sees this, and flips one of Quarters' coins, which switches between 4 and 14. The coin lands on 14, which switches Clover out for Quarters, who was said to be dead during the intermission. Quarters unloads a minigun on Slick, filling him with holes. He leaves Slick dead on the table with the licorice scottie dogs. However this too appears to be an offshoot timeline, seen by Snowman; the scene transitions to her and she promptly vanishes. She reappears in Doc Scratch's Study and kills Quarters to prevent the doomed timeline she saw. Slick and Snowman proceed to have a hatesnog session, forcing Scratch to shoosh them away, auspisticizing between the two.
- Scratch's grandfather clock, which seems to be the source of the ticking noise; the pendulum swings between Heroic (gold) and Just (purple). Vriska also gives John the code for her Fluorite Octet, which he later uses to alchemize a new hammer. She also tells John that he has to kiss Rose and bring her dream self back to life in order for the backup plan to defeat Jack to work, and also expresses her wish to go on a date with John someday. After apologizing for not telling him about his father, she leaves to deal with Terezi. Vriska is indeed right, as John comes back to life in a burst of color, as the readers knew he would. A full transcript of Vriska's last messaging of John through Rose's Hubtopband occurs. She mentions that John will survive his stabbing by Jack, since his death was neither heroic nor just. As this happens, we see
- Jade and Dave on LOFAF. They are currently collecting frogs as part of Jade's breeding quest. The forge appears to be have been stoked, with lava running down the side of the mountain and thawing some of the ice. Then, Jack appears above the forge. Jade and Dave proceed to battle Jack, with Dave using time techniques and the newly-alchemized Scarlet Ribbitar and Jade using her own weapons. It also seems that Jack still refuses to attack Jade, as Dave can effectively use her as a shield to Auto-Harley. They team up on Jack with a fraymotif, Adagio Redshift. Doc Scratch redirects the narrow fenestrated wall in the banner to show
- Scratch becomes fed up with Slick's rudeness and begins to attack him with the ~ATH book, causing scraps to fly everywhere. He finally uppercuts him through the window. We see that there is evidently a city on Alternia's green moon which Scratch inhabits, himself dwelling in one of its skyscrapers. Meanwhile in the main body of the adventure, Slick smashes the clock with the crowbar, causing the pendulum to stop on Just. We now see that this coincides with the death of Vriska.
- John tries to message Vriska back, and is met with Karkat, who tells him to get out of the blackness and to the Beat Mesa LOHAC. Once he does so, Karkat tries to give him a concise summary of recent events, since the critical moment is apparently approaching. It's clear that he's rather upset, as he has just dealt with Gamzee, once his best friend, that honor now taken by John. However, when John asks what he did next, he sidesteps the issue, saying it's a troll thing. John then asks Karkat if Rose is okay.
- Dad or Rose's Mom, but both Karkat and John become disgusted at the notion briefly after thinking it through and drop the thought completely; Karkat reflects a bit on his crab lusus dying in an attempt to cheer John up. They then return to the subject of Rose, who awaits The Tumor on Derse. They then talk about Jade's plan, which involves Dave abusing time travel to speed up the frog-breeding process (as we have seen happen in the narrow fenestrated wall). Karkat informs John that they ran into Bec Noir, and that Dave died as a result. Jade kissed Dave's corpse, and dream Dave then revived on Derse near Rose.
Karkat confirms that John kissing Rose's corpse did indeed revive Rose's dream self. He briefly wonders if it would have worked on his
- Meanwhile, Scratch takes out a pistol and points it at Slick as scraps continue to fly out of the ~ATH book. He then turns the gun around, giving it to Slick so he can kill Snowman. He's supposed to kill her. Four specific scraps fall out of the book: ones we've already seen of Karkat kissing Kanaya and Terezi kissing Tavros, as well as two we haven't of John kissing Rose and Jade about to kiss Dave. (4xCorpsesmooch Combo!)
- The Tumor, and how both Dave and Rose no longer have an expendable self to lose upon its detonation. John suggests delivering it himself, but this death would be seen as heroic, and would be permanent. Karkat slips up, mentioning his fantasy of Jade and Jadesprite making out, making John feel awkward. Here, Karkat mentions Jade's immunity to Jack Noir, possibly due to him inheriting Bec's loyalty. John learns that everyone will meet at the site where the Green Sun used to be, as the explosion required to destroy it will be visible to both the trolls and the humans. Karkat continues to avoid mentioning Vriska's death to John, for reasons unknown. Karkat and John then discuss the plan to deliver
- Scratch sends Slick on his way, and returns to his room to tidy. After pummeling Slick with the scrapbook, photographs are strewn everywhere. Multiple paths occur here, showing:
- Nepeta messaging Jaspersprite as the scratch happens, as Jaspers recounts how he lost Rose when he appeared in the house of another girl, but found Rose again after his death and that perhaps Nepeta would find Karkat after hers;
- Dave and Rose communicating through a memory in a dream bubble, and discussing a dream similar to Jack Noir murdering all of Dave's time clones;
- Jadesprite crying on the Battlefield, and meeting a wounded but still alive Davesprite;
- Wizardly Vassal, Liv Tyler, and the Courtyard Droll traveling in the stolen Dersite battleship, and CD? fleeing from the Bunny after pick-pocketing WV?'s wallet; The
- Vriska in a dream bubble (Vriska from after being killed by Terezi and John presumably from the doomed timeline in which he was also killed by Terezi), failing to realize that it is a dream or remember who Vriska is. and John communicating to
- We pan to see more scraps that show new paths or expand on existent paths:
- Royal Deringer, but she states that she is neither dead nor asleep while talking to Dave; Dave and Rose continue to talk, and it is revealed that Rose knocked Dave out with her ball of yarn and went on the suicide mission alone after Dave cut the chain holding Derse's moon in place with the broken
- Earth and some of her memories of Alternia, and this John gradually remembers that he is indeed the John from the alternate future that Terezi created; Vriska guides John through some of his memories of
- Royal Deringer, and Davesprite admits he "had no idea how the denizens worked at all"; Davesprite and Jadesprite converse about what Davesprite has been up to and why he has a non-broken
- The Tumor. Liv Tyler pickpockets the wallet from Courtyard Droll, but gives him the wallet back after extracting
- Dad's fedora blows in the wind, and a saddened Nannasprite grabs it out of the air; a PDA with unread messages is behind her.
- An unidentified female begins banging on Doc Scratch's door. He goes to calm her down with a broom, and allows the reader to continue perusing the clippings, making use of a candy bowl full of "==>" commands. We see more scraps that show new paths or expand on existent paths:
- Draconian Dignitary comes in and stabs Dave awake. He winds up back on Derse with the Royal Deringer. Dave takes the Deringer and flies away from Derse to catch up with the moon. Rose explains that she stopped by Dave's dream while on her way to the Green Sun. Rose is about to give Dave a message to give to John, but the
- Hephaestus too early and tried to fight him, but Hephaestus was just trying to give him 'The Choice'; he then took a snapshot of the Captcha code for the Fear No Anvil. He then explained that he returned to Hephaestus and was given The Choice once again. Davesprite chose to fix the sword, but Hephaestus needed lava from the forge, which required Echidna's assistance. Somehow, Jade managed to make this happen. Meteors start hitting the Battlefield, meaning it's near the end of the Reckoning. Davesprite has Jadesprite 'do the spacey thing' to deliver the sword to Dave, which is how he had it on Derse. Davesprite explains to Jadesprite that he visited
- denizen as Cetus, and explains that the trolls all killed their denizens, with the exception of Tavros. John explains that he talked to Typheus before he killed him, and that he apparently isn't so bad of a guy. Vriska and John continue getting to know each other, as John explains how Terezi tricked him and his traveling through Typheus' palace. Vriska identifies her
- fedorafreak's Serious Business logs, which seem to indicate that he entered a Sburb session. Nanna entertains him with a story of her and Grandpa's upbringing under Betty Crocker, explaining that Grandpa inherited the Betty Crocker company upon the batterwitch's death, and that apparently the batterwitch was not human. fedorafreak's PDA then dies, apparently as he loses consciousness upon an unidentified Quest Bed. Nanna reads
- CD? tells Jack 'mission accomplished', but Jack chastises him for not undertaking the actual mission of killing Jade. Jack then goes and tries to dispose of WV? and Liv Tyler by blowing up the ship.
- Echidna on Kanaya's advice, and Kanaya did not kill her denizen. Karkat, still in the past, is confused and wonders what the hell is going on, but Jade won't explain a thing, and says that Kanaya is opening a memo. Karkat contacts Jade, forgetting the password, but Jade allows a discussion anyway. Apparently, Jade went to see
- Some more scraps are shown, showing new paths or expanding on existent paths.
- Doc Scratch approaches the door; as the banging grows louder, he tells whoever's on the other side to shut up.
- Sollux leaves his bubble and talks to Aradia, who is still facing the Green Sun. She explains that two humans are coming soon, then the rest of the non-dead characters. Sollux can apparently see the sun, but it looks 2D to him. He seems to have one white (as if dead) and one black (as if blinded) eye. He is apparently Schrödinger's Sollux.
- Gamzee and Tavros' rap session is finally shown. At the end, Gamzee suggests a makeout session, confusing Tavros greatly.
- exiled to Earth on the remains of the ship, and becomes the Wayward Vagabond. Meanwhile, Liv Tyler has escaped with the Tumor and meets up with Rose (explaining why she was there when Rose visited Dave's dream bubble). WV?, still with the ring, is
- house, hitting Jack with a newspaper to stop him from killing the frogs she collected. She and Kanaya explain to Karkat that Jade learned from Echidna the location of the final frog needed to complete the sequence to create Bilious Slick. Jade explains that it is a strange frog she saw on Earth as a little girl, which she needs to paradoxify. She also made a promise to Echidna that she would bring the kids' planets and their inhabitants with her when they left the Incipisphere. She also tells of the creation of her Dreambot, which was apparently powered by a lump of uranium. Kanaya admits she is a rainbow drinker now, which still makes no sense to Karkat. Jade enters her
- Eridan went on his murder spree, Gamzee went psycho and he got separated from Sollux. Karkat contacts an unresponsive Jade, trying to apologize for everything, and claiming his mistake was not including the final frog in the breeding sequence, so the trolls' Bilious Slick was missing a crucial DNA sequence. Karkat says that he believes gave the Kids' universe cancer (as per his trolltag), and it's all his fault. As this occurs, we see PM in the future, who sees the tendrils of Red Miles ripping through the night sky. One of Terezi's edited 'coolkid' pictures is shown. Karkat is apparently hiding in the secret room with the record player. At this point,
- More scraps continue to elaborate on paths new and old.
- Karkat continues by explaining his belief that Jack is the cancer, and at the critical moment, he would attempt to kill the trolls' Bilious Slick with Red Miles. He attempts to apologize everyone before Kanaya butts in, still in the memo, claiming that she is with Sollux and she is okay.
- Dave, complaining about what Dave was to show Gamzee in Dave's future. Gamzee is visibly angered, having seen Tavros's corpse and apparently having a sloppy makeout session with it (while his shadow is apparently moving busily about the crime scene). He complains about how Dave's ICP video has ruined Gamzee's faith in the Mirthful Messiahs, and reveals that he was responsible for giving dream John the harlequin doll in his room (setting off a chain of events that would ultimately result in Jack Noir ). He is also consulting with Lil Cal, his only other friend now that Tavros is dead, about the truth behind the messiahs and his purpose in life (to kill everyone without mercy). Dave jokingly "agrees", but Gamzee takes it seriously, and thanks him for making him feel all better. In fact, the two then proceed to have "one of the best rap-offs in the history of paradox space." Gamzee, using Terezi's shades, messages pre-Sburb
- Doc Scratch opens the door to find what appears to be Aradia, with her hair tied in a bun with hair-sticks, smashing the fifth wall with a chair. Across the fifth wall, Hussie props two fourth walls (one with Lrd English's coat draped over it) together so that they form an angle where the open end is exactly one yard.
The Ancestors Edit
- Scratch turns off the fifth wall, prompting her to throw a chair at him and give him a double middle finger. Apparently, she is having a mood swing, which Scratch claims he'll have to iron out before she meets her true master.
- less symbolic manner), and stabs Scratch's head. The sticks glow with multicolored energy after the fact. He reprimands her for that act by threatening to take away her breathing privileges as well. The two of them are now on an imperial spaceship heading for what he claims is Alternia, where he reminds her that she can only be guaranteed a quick trip home if she behaves. Enraged, she takes off the cuesticks that were keeping her hair in a bun (while temporarily rendering herself in a
- Scratch teleports her back to the fifth wall, where she proceeds to Aggrub with a Youth Roll to an Actual Suicide Threat, which he responds to by smacking her with the broom and taking away her electricity privleges. Flustered by her insubordination, he teleports her back to his apartment for some re-education. She manages to surreptitiously turn the fifth wall back on by snapping her fingers.
- Scratch then tells her (and us) about trollkind and how it was once a peaceful race before his intervention. The ancestors, in this version of Alternia, also played Sgrub, but failed at it miserably, due in part to a glitch in their session created by Lrd English. The players then sought advice from Echidna, who offered them a choice to either accept defeat and die peacefully or to scratch their session and start anew, at the cost of their old lives. Having chosen the latter, the twelve heroes became the ancestors to the trolls of the Hivebent session, who were previously their ancestors. Scratch was also created to oversee the trolls' new-found ruthlessness and lust for victory, which proved beneficial to the second, successful game of Sgrub. However, one of the ancestors, the Signless (later known as The Sufferer), began remembering his pre-scratch adventures.
- highbloods began noticing, and a sectarian war followed, which ended with the Sufferer's capture. With his torture, his quiet compassion became burning rage at his treatment, and when he finally died, he yelled the Vast Expletive, which held the summation of his teachings for all who would accept its burden. Later, after his body was cremated, the irons he was held in became his symbol, as the few who still believed in his preachings (one being Redglare) began re-appropriating them as such. Eventually, as the Sufferer had prophesied, another of his lineage would become the second Signless, heralding the apocalypse and glory beyond Alternia.
The Signless's story is told. He was never given a sign because of his mutant blood, so he was forced to wander the world for several sweeps to avoid being culled. However, possibly because of his genetic defect, he began having visions of the old, peaceful troll planet, and swore to restore those old ways through teachings of compassion and equality among all. However, the
- Meanwhile, Hussie notices that the fifth wall is on again, and smashes through it with a resounding alt-text "BOOYEAH".
- The Dolorosa (Kanaya's ancestor), who was supposed to serve the Mother Grub, never to see the surface, happened upon him when he was a grub. Realizing he was special and in peril, she abandoned her duties and resurfaced to raise him as her own. Eventually, the Signless would amass a band of followers, starting with the Dolorosa and gaining the Ψiioniic (Sollux's ancestor) and the Disciple (Nepeta's ancestor) as well. The Disciple was the most devoted, having written down his very scriptures, and listened to every word he spoke. Eventually, they would become intimate in a type of love far beyond the four quadrants as they sailed the seas on the First Ship. When he died, the Disciple was to be executed next, but the E%ecutor (later Expatriate Darkleer) took pity on her and let her escape with the Righteous Leggings, the Sufferer's garment at his execution. She would become a savage and a nun, writing the scriptures from memory with the blood of slain animals, for posterity to read. Unfortunately, the Dolorosa would be sold to slavery, possibly becoming Mindfang's slave. As for the Ψiioniic, he would be given a fate worse (but more prestigious) than that.
More of the Sufferer's life is revealed.
- Hussie finds the broom on the bed and figures out very quickly that Scratch is keeping a troll girl in captivity and rambling on about the Ancestors. He just knows it.
- Her Condescension, essentially making him its power source and navigation equipment. The Empress grew fond of him, and extended his lifespan so that it would match hers. However, that would prove to be the nicest thing she had ever done; in her imperial conquests, she would put on a facade of cordiality to greet the soon-to-be-conquered worlds, only to then let her forces destroy those civilizations and slaughter millions of their people. She would also tyrannically force obedience from the lower castes by communing with Gl'bgolyb (who, as it turns out, was Scratch's gift to Alternia to congratulate trollkind on reaching sentience), as well as delegate her oppression through the Subjuggulators and other such institutions to keep the lowbloods in check. The only threat against her rule was an uprising, much like the Summoner's, which she would defuse afterwards by banishing all adults from Alternia. However, as she grew distant from Gl'bgolyb, so too did their bond weaken, until the lusus chose to ally itself with her descendant. As if that weren't enough, she lost her Helmsman, and her entire empire, to the Vast Glub when she least expected it. Dethroned by depopulation, she made her way back home on manual power, which slowed her craft to merely close to the speed of light. Scratch tells his audience that she would be offered a new job upon her return 612 years later.
The Ψiioniic was made into a Helmsman for the imperial battleship of
- Hussie Authorsplodes the lock on the door, and gets overwhelmed by the sheer size of the hallway. He picks a door that he thinks Scratch is behind, but instead gets the wolf head. The second door he picks, however, is right on the money.
- Handmaid to Lrd English. Having raised her with the utmost care and discipline, Scratch will deliver her to English, who will extend her life until she has completed her service to him. That service would be ensuring that civil unrest and terror would happen on Alternia, thus strengthening the trolls for Sgrub (and garnering her the nickname "The Demoness" in the process). After that, English will have her go on a recruiting job, then lift the curse placed upon her.
Scratch reveals that what appears to be Aradia is actually her Ancestor, the soon-to-be
- Hussie is dismayed at having his pictures scattered all over the floor, and envious of Scratch's courtesy with the blue "==>" candies. He flips the table the fuck over, and manages to ingest some of said candies himself. He finds them improbably delicious.
- Lrd English's witch, reaching places beyond his scope. They would fight each other to the death, with the Condesce victorious and taking over the Handmaid's job. Scratch stresses the importance of the Handmaid's role, then finds her gaze wandering to a stealthy Hussie (who had previously stored the candies in his god tier outfit pocket). Scratch assumes that she's taken an interest in his prized clock, and begins rambling on its story... The Handmaid is to recruit the fallen Condesce as
- Doctor, the Handmaid takes the opportunity to run for her life. ...when suddenly Hussie makes his move, attacking Scratch with his broom and breaking the clock in the process. As he manhandles the surprisingly noodly
- Scratch on the floor, and sees that he's suddenly inanimate with him around, "like a reverse Calvin and Hobbes kind of thing." He inspects the body to find the repaired Disc 2, that Scratch had already repaired a while ago. With that in hand, he immediately snaps his fingers to restore the normal color scheme of MSPA, but instead by accident turns it into SBAHJ's palette, fonts and all. He promptly corrects his mistake with an unsnop.
Hussie drops the now-limp
- Meanwhile, the Handmaid runs for her life, hopping across the roofs of the green moon's city, when she suddenly runs into none other than Lrd English himself. He chides her for even thinking about outrunning an entity that is already here.
Initiating The Plan Edit
- Karkat faces off against Gamzee. Kanaya, Terezi, and Sollux try to assist in any way they can (Kanaya through auspisticing, Terezi because she had gone black for Gamzee, and Sollux out of a matespritship/kismesissitude double reacharound). However, Karkat prevents Kanaya and Terezi from getting involved, and Sollux faces Lil Cal because he's blind. Karkat and Gamzee rush towards each other... and the former manages to calm the latter down with shooshes and paps, to the point that he has established himself as Gamzee's moirail. Disc 2, now properly repaired, runs.
- ♦ Gamzee taped within it. Hussie recounts that Gamzee is indeed calmed down and back to his normal, chill self, before closing the scrapbook with the picture of Karkat
- ==>" candy rests on a piece of paper where he initially started the fourth recap, only to abandon it because the events between recaps were too numerous and he didn't really care anyway. Not far from that, a loose picture shows Jade and Bec Noir atop her tower. (While Cascade was still being developed, clicking on the picture redirected the reader to the very first page of Jailbreak. Hussie then added a progress bar representing the Flash's state of completion.) Hussie leaves the scrapbook. Nearby, a half-eaten "
- Bec Noir with the ton of shaving cream. CD? causes said ton to explode, killing Jade and causing the Genesis Frog to fall into the Forge. Bec Noir becomes enraged at this turn of events. Following that, the events of [S] Cascade happen. Jade converses with Karkat, who tries to confess his feelings towards her. However, she finds CD? coming towards her and
- John stands on Beat Mesa, as the Quills of Echidna scratch across the record. A horde of enemies appear in front of John, possibly trying to stop him. Using his Heir of Breath powers, along with the Pop-a-matic Vrillyhoo Hammer, he quickly dispatches them. Meanwhile on LOFAF, Jack Noir mourns Jade's death, after killing the Courtyard Droll. The end then separates into seven parts.
- Part 1. In the trolls' universe, Jack uses the Red Miles to kill the Genesis Frog, slowly destroying the kids' universe at the same time, which begins to show in 2422. There, PM and AR begin the destruction of the bases, while WQ awaits the arrival of the Writ Keeper. When he arrives, another wilted lotus appears on the Lotus Time Capsule. Back in the kids' session, Bec Noir flies Jade to her Quest Bed and lays her down, then flies himself into the Lotus Time Capsule on the Frog Temple meteor, which is sent via a defense portal to Earth, 413 million years ago.
- Part 2. Time fast forwards to the exiles' time, and Jack emerges from the lotus, immediately killing WK. He turns his sword towards WQ, then appears outside. PM prepares to fight him, when AR destroys the Bec Head Base. This attracts Noir's attention, and he teleports to AR. AR destroys the Helipod Base and the Eggy-Looking Base, but before he can blow up the Skyship Base (with WV inside), Jack decapitates him. He goes inside and sees that the machine is out of power, and notices that WV has eaten the uranium he needs to power it. WV comes face to face with his nightmare once again, shortly before Noir impales his stomach with his hand, taking the uranium (and gaining his bloody hand). He powers up the machine and teleports to the exterior of Bilious Slick—the trolls' session, where he wreaks havoc upon them.
- Part 3. Dave and Rose pilot Derse's moon through the Furthest Ring, with Liv Tyler in tow. They go into the core of the moon, where both of their sacrificial slabs await. Perplexed by this, they stand on them and open The Tumor, which appears to be a machine with two vials, one holding the kids' universe (red), the other holding the trolls' universe (blue). The kids' universe is being destroyed by the Red Miles, while in the trolls' universe, on the green moon, Snowman and Spades Slick face off one final time. Snowman tells Slick to fire the gun, which he does. As the cue ball bullet enters Snowman, the trolls' universe begins to be destroyed as well (as we when she dies), simultaneously with the kids' universe. Meanwhile, on LOFAF, birds begin to fly towards Jade's Quest Bed, while PM is in anguish over her friends' deaths. She also notices the Red Miles slowly approaching the planet.
- Part 4. Back on The Battlefield, Jadesprite and Davesprite watch as The Reckoning destroys the planet. As a meteor begins to fall towards them, the birds congregate on Jade's body, which begins to glow. Jadesprite, as Jade's dream self, reaches god tier as a fully realized Witch of Space, complete with the dog ears she had as Jadesprite. The first thing she does is shrink the meteor down to a pebble, while Davesprite watches in amazement. She then operates a Prospitian battleship and flies off of Skaia. She then shrinks The Battlefield, with Davesprite still on it, and she travels to the other planets, while John stands on the Beat Mesa, as it begins flying upwards out of LOHAC. On Earth, PM carries the dying WV out of the base, and notices the fully prototyped ring, and goes to pick it up.
- Part 5. Jade travels to LOHAC, and brings John aboard the ship. She then shrinks LOFAF, LOLAR, LOHAC, and LOWAS, while Dave and Rose watch the machine count down, PM starts to put the ring on, and the Beat Mesa flies into Skaia. As Jade begins to open the fenestrated wall, the current events replay, along with the events of the story rewinding in it. It stops at the point where Jade's house is destroyed, while Gamzee watches with Lil Cal, as he talks with Doc Scratch. In response to something Scratch said earlier, Gamzee asks what they all are, to which Doc Scratch responds "S u c k e r s ." PM then puts the ring on, and the true purpose of The Tumor is discovered: it is not meant to destroy, but to create the Green Sun. Dave and Rose die in the creation, along with Liv Tyler.
- Part 6. Aradia and dream bubble Sollux are still staring at the Green Sun, waiting for their friends. Jack sees the light of the creation of the Green Sun as it finally reaches The Medium, as do the trolls. Terezi directs Sollux's view to where they're supposed to go, but Karkat corrects her. Sollux then uses all of his power to propel them towards the Sun, away from Noir. On the Ultimate Reward platform, Noir notices a bright, white light.
- Part 7. Dave and Rose emerge from the Green Sun, both risen to the god tiers, having died whilst on Quest Beds. They emerge in front of Aradia and Sollux. Also emerging is PM from the white light on the platform, four times prototyped, while Jack looks on in shock. Jade increases the size of the window to massive proportions, and she flies the battleship through it, escaping the scratch, while all the events of Homestuck rewind to the first page. The curtain closes on Act 5.