You should begin exploring and talking to locals! They will be able to provide you with some new insight into your quest, and may illuminate some matters on which I have remained coy to this point! HOO HOO!
- John exploring the Land of Wind and Shade. See Act 4 (LOWAS) for details. The fourth act begins with
- Sentry Worm shoots the Frog Temple before being killed by the Aimless Renegade. Elsewhere, a
- Aimless Renegade surrenders upon noticing Bec's face carved into the Wayward Vagabond's Pumpkin, allowing the Peregrine Mendicant to get the jump on the Aimless Renegade and pin him down. The
- Jade retrieves Dave's copy of Sburb from the flower bud in the Frog Temple.
- Fetch Modus and changes it to Pictionary after trying and rejecting Jenga. She experiments with the new modus. Jade becomes bored of her current
- Becquerel finds Jade in the Frog Temple and warps her back to her bedroom, leaving behind all of her belongings except the betas, her Lunchtop, and several Ghost Images.
- Meteor is going to crash into his house. Rose is currently MIA - neither John nor Dave can get a hold of her over Pesterchum. Jade has yet to try. Jade installs Dave's Sburb copies (both client and server) and pesters John and Dave. She tells John that he will be her server and tells Dave that she is connecting him to the game and that a
- carcinoGeneticist contacts John and informs him (rather rudely) that they will be friends in the future.
- Exiles become friends over some of the Wayward Vagabond's preserves and TaB. The
- Dave's house it is early evening and falling meteors have started a large fire in the city. Jade begins her Sburb session with Dave. She places the Alchemiter on the air conditioning unit on the roof, replaces his bed with the Cruxtruder, and replaces the television with the Totem Lathe. At
- The Medium remains unknown. Rose gets back to Dave; apparently she was talking to John and a troll. Her precise location within
- Jade accidentally tears the toilet and part of the floor off of the bathroom, like Rose did with John.
- Land of Light and Rain after cryptically remarking that she likes the area. It is a shining, watery place with cotton-candy-styled light reflecting all around, and Rose's house is perched on a piece of white land. Rose is revealed to be in the
- Aimless Renegade fetches Jade's Cookalizer and Refrigerator and starts cooking something.
- Wayward Vagabond shows the Peregrine Mendicant his Computer and introduces her to John. She is reminded of a girl she knows. She commands John during the Land of Wind and Shade sequence. We follow the assumed route taken through LOWAS where John gives up a shoe and a hat in the pipe system but retrieves an Uncarved mini-tablet, a chisel and a chunk of amber......wait a minute, is that Serenity? The
- The Medium. She also receives messages from the fourth Exile, who refers to Rose as "Seer", indicating that Rose is the Seer of Light. Rose does a little exploration of her house, now that it's in
- Land of Wind and Shade, coming across a small Village that's under attack by several Imps as well as a pair of Tar Basilisks and a Copper Giclops. John continues wandering about the
- Cruxtruder. Jade's Dreambot takes over while she's asleep. Jade falls asleep, sending the Toilet she was holding through the roof into Dave's room and activating his
- apple juice Dave drank finally catches up with him. He briefly considers peeing into an empty bottle and sending the resulting code to John as a prank. However, he decides against it and goes in the shower. All the
- Dreambot notices the dead Crow outside and, taking pity on it, resurrects it by prototyping it with Dave's Kernelsprite, much to Dave's displeasure. He makes Jade wake herself up by having her swing her arm, causing her Dreambot to swat her awake. While Dave is in the shower, Jade's
- Tangle Buddies, which remind her of something. Wayward Vagabond seems confused by this and Serenity seems to want to communicate urgently. Aimless Renegade makes a fire with gunpowder and empty ammo crates and tries to win over Peregrine Mendicant with the
- Land of Wind and Shade, an Authority Regulator finds Dad's Car crushed and impaled on a Parcel Pyxis and writes it a ticket. He notices Jade's Package and John's Server Copy inside and confiscates them. A Parcel Mistress sees him and decides to get the package from him. PM has a flashback to John's time. In the
- Wrinklefucker and Sassacrusher against the Basilisks, but the Giclops grabs the Sassacrusher and John finds himself in a Basilisk's mouth. John wields the
- Grandpa Harley, standing behind a tree, shoots the Basilisks and takes out the Giclops' eye, dropping lots of Grist and rescuing John. He appears to be carrying John's copy of Colonel Sassacre's.
- mini-tablet. Her objective is now to get both parcels from the Authority Regulator. PM remembers her mission. In the flashback the Parcel Mistress receives John's badly carved
- Sburb disc from the Authority Regulator. He refuses to give back the Green Parcel, so the Parcel Mistress follows him. The Parcel Mistress uses the mini-tablet to retrieve the
- Betty Crocker Barbasol Bomb, making matters worse until a gust of wind conveniently puts the fire out. The town people rejoice, giving John the credit. Lacking any other explanation for the gust, this may be the first manifestation of John's abilities as Heir of Breath. John thinks of following the person who saved him but decides to save the village, which is on fire from the attack. He unsuccessfully tries to put the fire out using the
- John is reminded about his uncarved minitablet by PM and carves the image of his Sburb Server CD on it.
- Sprite. She wanders outside, oblivious to Dave's attempts to pester her because her laptop is buried in three inches of fucking yarn. She soon spots footprints in the white(chalky) sand heading towards the Mausoleum, or at least where it stood. The secret passage remains intact. Rose begins looking for her
- Mom had arrived there first, untied a boat from the dock, and left, leaving behind her martini. Rose heads down and follows the passage to a dock. Her
- Can Town to outside, renaming it Exile Town after incorporating PM's mailboxes and AR's Munitions and stuff. AR creates armed forces because 'a town without a proper militia is as good as conquered'. They Fondly Regard the town until an Eggy-Looking Base lands near them, bringing the fourth Exile. Wayward Vagabond expands
- Alchemiter, and a Cruxite dowel, Dave creates a Cruxite Egg. However the Crowsprite snatches the egg before Dave has a chance to break it open. The Crowsprite places it in a makeshift nest made of Puppet pieces and shitty swords on top of the radio tower on Dave's roof. Using his pre-punched card, the
- CD for Dave to use. Dave figures out that with each player added to the Sburb player chain, the base Cache limit is multiplied by a factor of 10. Also, new equipment is available in the Phernalia Registry. Jade deploys an unidentified
- Jumper Block Extension can be added. She also deploys a Punch Card Shunt for Dave. Jade moves the Alchemiter so the newly deployed
- gristTorrent, showing all the Grist John, Rose and Dave have. Rose is seen battling Chalk Imps in the background as Dave loads the program. Dave starts downloading Build Grist and Shale from John. Dave figures out that he needs some punched cards to use the Shunt, but he doesn't have access to the Designix. He takes the CD down to his computer and loads up a program called
- gallowsCalibrator trolls Rose, telling her in a nonsensical way that they'll be friends in the future and informing her about Exiles and Agents.
- carcinoGeneticist interrupts a Pesterchum conversation between John and Jade. He ends up leaving even more pissed off then when he started. John considers changing his Chumhandle when gallowsCalibrator chimes in as well, laughing at John then threatening to kill him when he joins the laughing. In the past, on Jade's 13th birthday,
- Dark Kingdom and walks by some imps and an agent that looks like Diamonds Droog with cat ears and wearing Jaspers' suit. She is sent by the Black Queen to the Dark kingdom's Archagent, who specializes in tedious paperwork. The Parcel Mistress follows the Authority Regulator back to the
- voice in Rose's head leaves her. She takes a sip of her Mom's martini. She is unthrilled. The
- Windswept Questant, suddenly appears in front of the Eggy-Looking Base. The fourth Exile, the
- Green package on a table in Jack Noir's office and tries to grab it and run, but she is stopped when Jack Noir appears. He arms her with a Regisword and offers to give her the package in exchange for the assassination of the White King and queen. Parcel Mistress sees the
- Jack was only kidding about the assassinations and is surprised that the Parcel Mistress actually seems to be going through with it. Curious about the green package, he opens it to see what's inside. He's quite surprised.
- Punch Designix in Dave's hallway, making difficult to move through. Dave punches several cards, including one for the blender and for GameBro magazine. He uses these with the Punch Card Shunt to upgrade the Alchemiter, giving it a blender in place of the Totem scanner and a GameBro statue as the platform. Jade puts the
- captcha code, then sends the code to Dave. He upgrades the Alchemiter in a less frivolous fashion. Jade draws the Punch Designix on her Pictionary Modus to get its
- Alchemiter with Holopad and Totem Lathe upgrades. These two upgrades work together: a punched card inserted into the Totem Lathe upgrade causes a holograph of the corresponding totem to appear on the scanner, which is then scanned by the Alchemiter to create the item. Jade and Dave use this method to upgrade the
- Jumper Block Extension itself as an upgrade. This helps save on space; now one can simply insert a punched card into a slot on one side of the machine to continue to upgrade it (also eliminating the need for shunts). Jade and Dave continue to upgrade the Alchemiter by adding the
- Grist and a smaller one costs less. Dave captchalogues the enlarger from his photography lab and adds it to his Alchemiter, too. Now he can increase or decrease the size of the item to be produced. A larger-than-normal item costs extra
- GC chimes in over Pesterchum, sending John a poorly-drawn map and instructing him to find a large pipe and jump in. John stumbles upon the wreckage of his Dad's car, finding his Sburb Server CD and the Green package gone.
- Rose Strifes with a Chalk Imp and a Marble Imp, slaying them with relative ease. She then fights a Lime Ogre, gouging its eyes out with her needles. It falls down the waterfall and into the ocean.
- adiosToreador pesters Rose and grimAuxiliatrix pesters Dave at the same time. They reveal that Dave is the Knight of Time. Dave pesters Rose. He has built up Rose's house partway to the First Gate with some help from GristTorrent. However,
- bunny scene from Con Air with a pair of the salamanders, more than likely traumatizing them. John enters the giant pipe and is blasted down an oil river. Then out of nowhere he re-enacts the
- CG begins pestering John, slamming him for his re-enactment and asking about GC's plans with him, which John doesn't know. The trolls appear to be trolling each other through the kids.
- GC chimes in yet again, instructing John to follow a path which leads to his 'Denizen's Palace'. However, the bridge is out, so he can't go any further. John uses a Return Node to return to his house.
- White King. Back in the future, WQ gives PM the crown that AR and WV crafted. In the past, the Parcel Mistress approaches the White Queen seeking her counsel. WQ? hands over the crown and her ring willingly and gives PM? instructions to find the
- Rose finally gets a chance to talk to Jaspersprite, though he initially talks in nothing more the purrs and meows. Eventually he does speak in English, speaking about the Denizen having eaten all the fish in the ocean, Rose being the Seer, and her 'waking up'.
- Rose consults Jade about what Jaspersprite had said. Jade explains to Rose that her 'dream self' cannot yet wake up when her real self falls asleep. Rose tries to contact Dave, to no avail. She asks Jade to do something about it, but Jade already made a promise to Dave. Jade reveals that Rose has written on the walls of her room and repressed those memories, much like John.
- Cruxite Egg back from the Crowsprite. The meteor that's about to crush his home is visible in the background when we are given Dave's perspective. Dave climbs the radio tower on the roof in an attempt to get the
- GC to pick up the useless Rocket pack and send her the code. She has acquired the codes for the junk lodged in the rocket pack from the other kids at various points in time. She has another troll get the code for a functional rocket pack and sends it to John before flaming him and signing off. John is instructed by
- Casey. Dave chimes in, saying that he too has now entered The Medium. John blasts off, flying straight past his Gates. John makes the functioning rocket pack, then captchalogues
- Land of Heat and Clockwork, dispatching Amber Imps, Rust Imps, Sulfur Ogres, a Basilisk, and a Ruby Giclops with ease and collecting boatloads of Build, Amber, Rust, Sulfur, and Ruby Grist. Dave has made himself a new tux, sword, and converted his turntables into Timetables that allow him to scratch chronologies and functionally duplicate himself in battle. Dave has prototyped his bird sprite with Lil Cal's head. He also appears to have found another bladekind strife specibus for his strife portfolio (in addition to his ½bladekind), because he is able to change his new sword between half broken and fixed at will. In the future, Dave accelerates to Gate 5 of the
- Dave attempts to converse with his Calsprite. It laughs at him, which pisses him off.
- iShades. He and Rose converse, revealing that in this timeline, John has died after he was tricked by the trolls into battling his Denizen, and Jade likely has died as well. He decides to journey backwards in time to warn John. Dave and Rose also discuss the dream world, elucidating that each of the four has a dream self he or she must awaken. Dave believes that some element of Rose from this timeline might be retained through her dream self when he reverses time. Dave perches on some machinery and pesters Rose using his
- Timetables. Dave reverses using his
- Alternate Future Dave appears in front of Past Dave and tells him what will happen. Past Dave tells John not to go to the seventh gate, but John thinks it's a trick. Both Future and Past Dave talk to a hesitant John, convincing him to stay on the ground. Right before John rockets off to his doom,
- Future Dave drops all of his stuff and jumps into the Crowsprite, creating the Davesprite. The Davesprite is far cooler then the Calsprite, because it doesn't laugh continuously. Meanwhile, John blasts off anyway.
- dream) self almost ceases to exist but manages to merge with the alpha timeline Rose, who passes out immediately after the fact. Rose prepares for a nap. Her future (
- Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff for him. Davesprite trolls gallowsCalibrator and tells her not to troll John. Weird time shit is brought up throughout the pesterlog, along with orange creamsicles and Captain Planet. He then chats with Dave and informs him that sprites cannot accompany their players until later in the game, saying that he'll continue updating
- red box with the bunny, seen for the first time here. He finally reconsiders going through the seventh gate and flies back down to the Land of Wind and Shade. John recalls the letter Dave included in the
- The Veil, in which the trolls are currently hiding in their session. He also tells him about The Reckoning (Sburb's endgame), in which the White King is captured or killed and the Black Queen and King get the power to send the Veil towards Skaia. He also sets himself up for a prank John will play on him the next time they talk, since carcinoGeneticist trolls in reverse chronological order. carcinoGeneticist informs John about
- Queen's Ring on his own finger and undergoes the same prototyping the Black Queen did. The end scene is highly reminiscent of from the Midnight Crew Intermission. Jack is defacing the parking citation when the Black Queen (now prototyped with Seppucrow) arrives and demands he put on a pink dress. Jack refuses outright, and after repeated threats by the Black Queen she holds her sword to his throat. Jack pulls something out of the green box Jade gave to John; it contains a weapon of some sort that the Black Queen recognizes and fears. Jack slices her finger off with it and slashes at her several more times until the Black Queen seemingly explodes or vanishes. Jack puts the
- great hall; Mom takes Maplehoof with her and fights a beast with multiple eyes and arms; and Bro fights a yellow lava octopus creature. John's, Rose's, and Dave's Guardians fight powerful enemies in the kid's respective lands. Dad fights a gray beast similar to one mounted in Jade's
- Derse due to her past self merging with her future dream self. She has defaced the walls with the letters M, E, O and W, which represent an encoded DNA sequence (M=G, E=C, O=A, W=T). This concludes the first year of Homestuck, but not the end of Act 4. Dream Rose wakes up on
- Fourth wall, which switches over to a view of Andrew Hussie. AH gives the readers a recap of the first year of Homestuck. He does some other egotistical stuff. The Fourth wall's view switches over to John, just as he's getting pestered by GC again. We find Jack's
- GC apologizes to John for trying to kill him and sends him a map of the Land of Wind and Shade with directions to his next gate. We readers are treated to a fake loading screen before watching John enter the Land of Light and Rain, lose control of his rocket pack and crash into Rose's room. Rose is still completely unconscious. Mutie is also asleep, laying on top of Rose.
- captchalogues a pair of Rose's journals, and Dave convinces John to flip their card over so he can see the captcha code. John recovers from his crash landing. Rose is still asleep but Mutie wakes up. Dave and Davesprite both begin pestering John. John
- Derse. She bonks Dream Dave on the head with a yarn ball, causing Dream Dave to stir and the real Dave to fall asleep. Dream Dave has drawn Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff on his walls. Dream Rose leaves her room and heads over to Dream Dave's room on
- bunny. The letter says she's had it for as long as she can remember, hinting that the Bunny was taken back in time, since John still has Casey (who has the current Bunny) in his Sylladex. John keeps poking around Rose's room. He finds and takes one of Rose's books. Curiosity finally gets to him and he opens up Rose's gift to him. It's a reconstructed version of the
- bunny back in the box and captchalogues it. He then deploys Casey and answers GA, pretending to be Rose by using her computer. John places the
- GA pesters twinArmageddons, asking for some computer help. GC, in the background, uses a red and white cane like any blind person. At the sides of the frame are the horns of two other trolls: adiosToreador and arachnidsGrip.
- Dream Rose and Dream Dave jam out.
- Maplehoof follows Mom into the ruins, collecting the grist left behind and sending it to the kids. The hat that John put in a Parcel Pyxis makes its way to Dad, who follows Grandpa into some ruins.
- Fear No Anvil from the code Davesprite sent him. Rose wakes up after Dream Dave alerts Dream Rose to John being in her house. John uses Rose's Alchemiter to make a scaled
- twinArmageddons shows GA how to activate the Viewport function of Trollian, allowing her to see the Kids.
- Gushers he alchemized earlier onto her. Rose's Prankster's Gambit meter drops to its lowest point when she realizes John is too good to counter-prank - for her, at least. Rose realizes her laptop has been messed with and sets off to find John. However, John laid a trap over her door, dumping a bucket full of the
- Mutie in tow. He finds the ruins Rose's Mom and Maplehoof had gone into and heads inside. Thanks to his new Fear No Anvil, he easily dispatches two Liches despite how powerful they are. He follows the path to the Transportalizer and uses it. John takes off with
- laboratory on a meteor in The Veil. Grandpa was obviously here, as he left the original Colonel Sassacre's text there. Maplehoof, Dad's old fedora, and Dream Lil' Cal are also there. The Transportalizer takes him to a
- Chess pieces. John goes further into the lab and discovers a massive device for genetically engineering black and white soldiers and agents from massive, strangely-shaped
- new outfit in the lab and puts it on. He then notices a computer terminal similar to the ones found in the bases in 2422. John finds a
- Parcel Mistress readies to depart for The Battlefield but Courtyard Droll tails her and swipes the White Queen's Ring. PM? departs, none the wiser. CD? radios in Draconian Dignitary. He mentions Hegemonic Brute and Sovereign Slayer (completing a Homestuck Midnight Crew). CD? doesn't get too far with the ring, as Dream Jade swoops in and beats the shit out of him. The
- Dream Jade takes back the ring from CD?, but it's too late to give it back to the Parcel Mistress, so she dons the ring to remember to give it to her later.
- Skaia, the Battlefield has become more complex with each successive prototyping. The Armies of Light and Darkness duke it out under command of the Black King and White King. A Warweary Villein's crops are set on fire, and he blames the kings. Deciding he's had enough of the war, he leads a militia of both Prospitian and Dersite soldiers to rise up against the Black King, but Jack assassinates the Black King and takes his crown. On
- scepter to Parcel Mistress, but the Hegemonic Brute attacks her. The scepter is knocked away and falls into a stream. Meanwhile, the White King gives his crown and
- Hubtop (as seen in the future Dream Rose scene) and, from it, the Hubtopband. She also makes two sets of needles, the Needlewands and the Thorns of Oglogoth, and a Velvet Squiddleknit Dress for herself, among other, more useless, things. Rose begins her own alchemizing montage. She makes the
- Rose lays the hurt on many encroaching imps, ogres and liches.
- Meteor is coming. Jade, while asleep, builds Dave's house up to the First Gate; the house is apparently beset by Imps and flying Basilisks. Her Dreambot sits on a lilypad with two frogs watching, while a glow from the sky signals that Jade's
- female one with a bucket of white paint. Apparently, Dream John is about to wake up soon. In the Dream World, Jade is on Prospit being watched by three Prospitian citizens, including a
- iShades, the Turntop, the Red Plush Puppet Tux, a SBaHJ-themed Sord...., the Snoop Dogg Snow Cone Machete, an Unreal Air skateboard, a Vintage GameBro, some Suitarangs in the four suits of cards, the suit Four Aces Suited, (not) the Felt Duds, some puppety abominations, the Captcharoid Camera which lets him make ghost images of objects without captchaloguing them, and, with a little help from his own brain, the obviously most useful object of the bunch, the SBAHJifier. He was going to make the powerful Scarlet Ribbitar, but it was too expensive for him to make yet, even in its ½bladekind form. Dave wakes up and starts alchemizing things for himself, including the
- Rose's journals and snoops inside them. One is another genetic code locked in Rose's subconscious with the letters M, E, O and W, while the other is Complacency of the Learned, a long and wordy tale about wizards. He saves his place using his own juice-stained copy of the beta that eventually winds up in Jade's hands. Dave makes copies of
- Needlewand because the gods from the Furthest Ring apparently asked her to do so. Rose reveals that she actually likes wizards, but she hates the way her mother apparently feigns interest in them to antagonize her. Dave suggests that maybe she is legitimately interested in wizards like Rose and is trying to forge a closer bond with her, much like Dad and John, but Rose dismisses the idea. Dave pesters Rose, who is burning her MEOW book with a
- Rose claims that the Furthest Ring is actually the ring outside the Veil in which Derse orbits; that the Gods are monsters that dwell there; and that Dave is the 'prince of the moon' and can talk to them in his dream state if he removes his shades and looks into the sky.
- Davesprite talks to Rose. Apparently, in the future, the gods didn't tell Rose to burn the MEOW book; but now, as the original Dave went back in time, it has become relevant and crucial to destroy. However, Dave has, of course, made a copy of the book with the Alchemiter to view its contents. Rose has retained some memories from her future self's fusion, which is why she is aware of the monsters. Davesprite knows of them too and hates the ones that sing.
- Draconian Dignitary swipes it before he gets there. Dave sees his corpse in the room, meaning he'd gone back in the past to stop the thief once before without realizing it, but got killed, hence never being able to return to the past to get them back, creating a paradox. Dave decides not to follow DD? and dumps his corpse in the lava, but DD? is still watching... Dave goes downstairs to burn the book, but the
- Ectobiology Lab, looking into the past of Dad, Nanna, Mom, Bro, and Grandpa. The latter four are all locked onto like Jaspers was. Pressing the blue button each time creates ecto-sludge clones of the locked-on people, all of which are sucked into a machine.
John begins poking around with the device in the
- Betty Crocker factory, apparently owned by Jade's Grandpa, is hit by a meteor and blown up. On December 1, 1995 (Jade's birthday), he sees Dad escort Nanna across the street when the
- Bunny) sailing to a new island. The island's only resident, Becquerel, is seen. On December 3, 1995 (Dave's birthday), he sees Grandpa and baby Jade (with Rose's reconstructed
- On December 4, 1995 (Rose's birthday), he sees Bro standing outside the crater where his favorite record store stood. He came prepared with a tiny pair of shades for the new arrival.
- April 13, 1996 (John's birthday), he switches back to his neighborhood. Dad and Nanna apparently run a family joke shop called Prankster's Gambit. Mom, a new mother, holds baby Rose. She is wearing the familiar pink scarf. She was apparently sent by Jade's grandpa to study meteorite activity there. Nanna is inside busying herself with a tall bookshelf, a ladder, and a copy of Colonel Sassacre's when the shop is suddenly hit by a meteor. Rose's Mom flees from the blast but leaves her scarf behind. Baby Rose holds the oil-soaked bunny which she would later reconstruct. On the fateful day of
- Now, all four sludge clones of Nanna, Grandpa, Bro and Mom are in the machine. It creates paradox clones of Nanna, Grandpa, Bro and Mom all as babies. Dr. Meowgon presses a button that dumps the sludge into the lower chambers of the machine. Nanna and Grandpa's sludge creates baby John and Jade, and Mom and Bro's sludge creates baby Rose and Dave - making them the true parents of each pair of kids!
- Echeladder, rising to the ECTOBIOLOBABYSITTER rung and receiving enough Boondollars to push him above one million Boondollars. John trades one million Boondollars for one Boonbuck, which he attempts to put into his Ceramic Porkhollow, but the sheer size of the Boonbuck shatters the Porkhollow. John scales his
- Mom and Dad are shown on a ship flying through the Veil, navigated by Grandpa. Dad removes the pink scarf from his Captchalogue deck (which uses the Wallet Modus) and returns it to Mom. The two share a romantic moment.
- Homestuck Kids and their Guardians, not just clones. Because they aren't malformed (like Mutie/Dr. Meowgon), their destiny is to be sent on Meteors back to Earth by Skaia during The Reckoning. Hence, the Guardians find the baby Homestuck Kids in the meteors and raise them as their own, though their relations to the kids aren't quite as thought, thanks to genetic screwery. CG trolls John, explaining how he has to work backwards all over again. CG explains that the babies are literally the
- CG explains that John was the designated player destined to bring him and his friends into existence, completing a self-fulfilling time loop. CG also reveals that he was the one destined to bring him and his 11 friends into existence, elevating John and CG above the others in their respective sessions.
- John sets CG up for a prank, telling him that normally human babies hatch from slimy pods and come out as larva. He also asks him to hold on and stay linear so he can talk to him in a few minutes. CG then comes back and antagonizes him some more, but John tells him to hold on for another few minutes, frustrating him to no end.
- Frog Temple on it, supposedly illegal for depicting a frog. He enters and eventually discovers a monitor depicting the baby Nanna. AR? comes across a meteor with the
- Eight days prior, Nanna was taken in by none other than Colonel Sassacre. She'd arrived from the crater of a meteor that hit a bakery run by Sassacre's wife, a woman strongly hinted to be Betty Crocker. It is April 21, 1910.
- Halley. Suddenly, the Colonel takes a shot in the chest, shot by baby Grandpa. An explosion hits the Colonel's backyard. He and Nanna investigate. It was a meteor that struck the dog house of the Colonel's beloved pet,
- The dog, Halley, appears behind the two new siblings. He looks like Bec, but with a face. Grandpa can only pronounce the dog's name as Harley. Halley is in the Appearifier's crosshairs.
- AR? fast forwards to thirteen years later. Nanna and Grandpa were raised by the wicked Betty Crocker, but they and Halley were always there for each other. However, Grandpa develops a taste for adventure and departs on Halley's back, claiming Nanna will be fine...
- 413,000,000 years in the past. The Draconian Dignitary arrives in the Frog Temple. He discards Complacency of the Learned and Dave's betas, the latter of which land in the Time Capsule's seed, which is set to bloom in 413,000,000 years. This means that the meteor that carried Bec and the Frog Temple lands on earth
- The Draconian Dignitary goes to a machine that appears to be an Alchemiter/Appearifier cross, with Halley on the monitor.
- Spades Slick in the trolls' version of the game. CG tells John that he's going to give away his two bunnies. He reveals that John's Reckoning is to start in just a few minutes and that the Kids will have roughly 24 hours to defeat the Black monarchy and Jack Noir to win the game. CG tells John that Jack is meant to be a supporting character, and that he got exiled to become
END OF ACT 4PSYCHE. In a breathtaking Con Air parody, John tearfully gives baby Rose the bunny, gives baby Jade the modified bunny, and embraces baby Rose, Jade and Mom. CG looks on in disgust and disbelief, and GC annoys him. John then goes on to perform a wicked guitar solo. Rock on, John. Rock on.
- GC trolls Dave, asking him what his blood tastes like and showing him some badly defaced pictures that she claims to be of Dave.
- AT trolls Jade, who is very close to entering the Medium on her timeline. Apparently, John is very close to waking up and Jade's dreambot is very close to getting blown up. AT reveals that Jade talked to CG in the future, and she thought that CG was actually a pretty nice guy. Apparently, AT enjoyed being his dream self the most out of his Sburb game, but now all of the trolls' dream selves are dead. His dream self was on Prospit.
- GA trolls Rose, who now understands that John was using her account. GA hasn't caught on, though.
- The Rift, whatever that is. She taunts that his Bro won't be around to bail him out next time, something Dave found embarrassing the first time. The event she's referring to is revealed below. GC trolls Dave again, telling him he won't see his brother between now and
The real End of Act 4 encompasses a massive flash animation.
- It opens with Dave's entry to the Medium. Bro slices in half the meteor heading for Dave and uses his hoverboard to save Dave as he falls, trying to retrieve the Cruxite Egg. The Egg also falls and cracks, sending Dave to the Medium.
- Grandpa's ship, carrying Mom and Dad, heads towards Skaia. Mom holds a gun and Dad holds a cake.
- Jack Noir attacks and kills most of The Armies of Light and Darkness using his sword and the Queen's ring. AND HE KEEPS DOING THINGS LIKE THIS FOR A WHILE. NO ONE CAN STOP HIM. He spares Warweary Villein, leaving him as the only survivor.
- John watches as the paradox clones are each transported to a meteor as the timer of the Reckoning counts down.
- The Courtyard Droll hands Jack Noir the White King's scepter. He uses it to start the Reckoning, causing meteors to fly down from the Veil towards Skaia.
- The Draconian Dignitary creates Bec from a paradox clone of Halley, using the DNA code from Rose's journals. The Authority Regulator looks on.
- Dream Jade watches as Jack Noir heads to Prospit. Jack then rampages upon the planet, killing many citizens before cutting the chain that links Prospit to its moon. The moon falls down to The Battlefield.
- Jack Noir lands on the Beat Mesa and battles with Bro. They are equally matched. Bro then jams his sword into the platform.
- As chunks of Prospit and its moon fall to Skaia, Dream John is ejected from his tower. Dream Jade falls after him and tries to wake him, but there is not enough time. She pushes him to safety.
- Dream Jade is killed as the moon hits the Battlefield, causing the Dreambot to explode. (It moves in a similar way to Jade's interpretive dance, which "foreshadowed the future.") The explosion destroys part of Jade's house, sending Jade flying down to the island below. And it's a big drop.
- Dream John appears to be awake as he looks out on the destruction of the Battlefield.
- Skaia uses portals to help stop the Reckoning, sending the meteors carrying the Paradox Babies and their individual objects back in time.
- Rose and Dave battle fiercely with enemies on their worlds. Rose destroys her first gate explosively, while Dave aims for his first gate on his Unreal Air and goes through it.
- The meteor that collides with John's neighbourhood is shown exploding again.
- Back on Jade's island, Bec observes the demolished tower of Jade's house as a giant meteor looms overhead.
- A final screen shows the date to be the four hundred and thirteenth day of Homestuck.
- The curtain closes on Act 4.
The following events are not part of an official act of Homestuck, but constitute a short epilogue to the events in the fourth act.
- kids will fail to win Sburb. Instead of going through her first gate and playing by the rules of the game, she decides to explore the Land of Light and Rain in search of answers on how to avert their fate. She seals her walkthrough in a server situated in the Furthest Ring so the gods there may transmit the message to other players throughout the cosmos. Rose ends her GameFaqs walkthrough, believing the trolls and the gods to be correct in their opinion that the
- Warweary Villein being exiled on Earth. In the present he discovers Dream John's "Accursed Mascot" doll and rips it apart. He also finds Dream John's blanket, which he fashions into the signature robes he wears in the future. We skip forward in time to see the
- The Battlefield and removes the White Queen's Ring from her finger. He sees a vision of his immediate future and heads off towards a burning castle. Dream John, now awake, discovers Dream Jade's body on
- Parcel Mistress decapitates the Hegemonic Brute and takes his communication device to organise a rendezvous with Jack Noir. He upholds his end of the deal and trades Jade's Package for the White King and Queen's crowns. The
- Peregrine Mendicant. Dream John reaches the castle, just in time to meet with the Parcel Mistress. She slams the box into his chest, fulfilling her final duty before her exile and her transformation into the
- unknown author. He is interrupted by Jack, who demands he relinquish the White Queen's Ring. Dream John opens the box, finding two letters inside: one from Jade and one from an
- bunny, wielding four powerful weapons that match the strife specibi of the kids. The bunny turns on Jack. The contents of the box are revealed to be a cyborg version of the
- Authority Regulator escapes the Frog Temple, traveling to the Ectobiology Lab where he finds John's sleeping body. As the Reckoning gains pace, the lab shoots towards Skaia, disabling its Transportalizers. The
- Bro's Rocket Board with caution tape and launches him to safety. AR? is sent through a portal and into exile, becoming the Aimless Renegade. AR? straps John to
- Grandpa's battleship lands. John's Dad and Rose's Mom disembark as Grandpa retrieves, and subsequently stuffs, Dream Jade's body. Jack flies away from John and the bunny as
- Windswept Questant. She finds the Eggy-Looking Base, which is split into two distinct halves. WQ uses a spirograph-shaped key to recombine the base to its complete form. The White Queen leaves her subjects behind to becomes the
- Exiles in the future. The Questant joins the other
- The Wayward Vagabond pulls out the Queen's Ring, all this time safely hidden under the bandages holding his Trusty Knife together. Serenity exclaims "OH MY".
- Skaian cloud. Another cloud shows him the remains of Jade's house. Dream John witnesses the ring in a
- We peek inside the house, seeing the stuffed bodies of both Dream Jade and Halley. We also discover Jack's fourth wall. If this device were turned on, we would have seen...
- Andrew. Act 4 ends. ...another recap from