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Future post-scratch Earth

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Cherub planet EoA6A3

Future post-scratch Earth is the home time period of Roxy and Dirk, and even further, from Earth's perspective, Calliope and Caliborn's home. It is a brutal dystopian society ruled by the Condesce, who had secretly arrived on Earth centuries prior and spent the 20th century building up her Crockercorp empire as part of her plan to take over the world. After decades of secrecy, she finally revealed her existence on November 11, 2011, and the world's governments - unaware that the Condesce was among the last members of her species - assumed she was the commander of an alien invasion fleet and prepared for war.

HistoryEdit

Decline of humanityEdit

While militaries were distracted by the non-existent threat of the Condesce's non-existent army, the media deteriorated into a chaotic mess where popular entertainers were given the same level of authority as world leaders. Using this to her advantage, the Condesce bribed celebrities into publicly supporting her and installed her most famous sympathizers into high government office. Her agents included Guy Fieri, who became the chief (and eventually, only) justice of the Supreme Court and rewrote the Constitution into a system of fascist, theocratic laws, and the Insane Clown Posse, who ran for President on their Juggalo Party ticket and won the 2024 election, becoming the first (and last) Dual-Presidents of the United States.

The Posse's inauguration marked the collapse of western civilization, and while they served as the Condesce's puppet regime they were also allowed to pursue their own deranged agenda. Their administration passed several dangerously stupid policies, like replacing tap water with Faygo and making the new national anthem a recording of Violent J farting into a microphone, but their laws would culminate in the genocidal program known as the Hilarocaust. Anyone the Posse deemed insufficiently mirthful would be sent to death camps run by Guy Fieri (now the Condesce's High Chaplain of Interstellar War) and executed. The Hilarocaust would end up killing five billion people, leaving humanity totally unable to resist the Condesce's rule.

Ben Stiller, star in some of Dirk's Bro's Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff-esque movies, was crucified on the Washington MonumentSburb Logo by these Juggalo presidents. Because he was such a peace-loving person, he came to be seen as a martyr, and then a holy figure. People would make pilgrimages to gaze up at his face, the intentions of the presidents making an example of him having backfired. Stiller's followers made stone busts of his final expression for years, before the movement was thoroughly snuffed out by the presidential church and the Condesce. In addition, she "remastered" all of [Dirk's Bro's] films to clean up all the shitty artifacts, and released them in stunning high-def quality all over the world, using a rational business model and everything.

This evil motivated Dirk's Bro, along with Roxy's Mom, the leaders of the failed resistance movement, to emerge from hiding and kill Fieri and the Posse. With her puppet rulers dead, the Condesce abandoned all pretense of human self-rule and took direct control of the planet. Though Bro and Mom were never seen again, Dirk found evidence suggesting that the two confronted the Condesce and fought her in a final showdown. The Condesce's power was too great, however, and the rebel leaders were killed.

Her rule now completely established, the Condesce began an effort to remake Earth into a new Alternia. She hoped to kill off humanity and replace them with troll clones and lusus kept aboard the Battleship Condescension, but there was a flaw in her plan: every time she attempted the cloning process, her lusus - possibly of the same species as Gl'bgolyb - psychically killed all of the cloned trolls. Unable to resurrect her species, the Condesce decided to impose troll society onto her human subjects. Normal human reproduction was banned in favor of the troll method: genetic samples would be collected at random times by robotic Imperial Drones, and years later the samples would be combined and used to create new human children. These children would be raised by "lusidroids" and would never know the identity of their parents.

Collapse of humanityEdit

As the decades passed, human population numbers underwent a rapid decline due to three factors. First, the Condesce began to employ biotech experiments in her efforts to make humans more troll-like. These experiments, such as attempting to add a hemospectrum to human genetic code, lethally backfired and killed hundreds of millions. Secondly, the Condesce began bringing carapacians to Earth, and they quickly became her favorite subjects due to their unquestioning loyalty. The already mistreated human subjects became even more ignored. Finally, the melting of the ice caps flooded the planet and submerged almost all of the inhabitable land, and while the carapacians survived by living in floating colonies, humanity was unable to adapt and went extinct. As of the year 2422, or 411 P.C. (Post Condescension), Dirk and Roxy are the only living humans. Roxy was raised by the carapacians in one of their colonies and Dirk was forced to raise himself.

In 2424 (413 P.C.) the B2 universe was struck by Jack Noir's Red Miles attack. While Dirk and Roxy survived the Red Miles by dying and having their dream selves become their primary self, their universe was destroyed. However Jade Harley, while under the command of the Condesce, rode the trolls' meteor through a Skaian defense portal in the B2 session and arrived before the planet was destroyed entirely. After the meteor crashed into Earth, Jade shrunk the planet and went back through the defense portal bringing Earth into the session with her. Post retcon, Vriska got Earth and then got back to the B2 session somehow.

Into another universeEdit

Calibornlandcurtain

The intermission curtains, rusted and ruined

Having brought Earth into the B2 session, the Condesce planned to relocate Earth into the new universe created by the session. Jade went into the B2 Universe on the troll's meteor when it went through a Skaia Defense Portal, and shrunk down the Earth so that she could captchalogue it. She went back into the B2 session in a way that was obscured by glitches but may have had something to do with the frog temple, which wasn't brought into the game with Jake's house. Pre-retcon, it's not certain what happened to it but it was probably destroyed during [S] GAME OVER. Post-retcon, Vriska put Earth in her sylladex, and during Act 7 Jade put it into the new universe.

Cherubskull

Calliope's drawing, reminscent of the entry, reflected over itself.

Black Hole, Red Sun

The eventual fate of the cherubs' sun. It is a callback to both this pageSburb Logo and the song "Black Hole/Green Sun"

After the star had long since become a "massive" red supergiant, reducing the planet's surface to a wasteland scattered with a large number of ruined, JPEG-artifacted Statues of Liberty added by Dirk's BroSburb Logo, it was discovered by a cherub looking to lay his egg after losing his mating battle. He laid his egg and flew off, and soon after Calliope and Caliborn hatched from the egg and were adopted by Gamzee Makara. At some point, Gamzee, for unknown reasons, chained Calliope and Caliborn up in a room in the trolls' meteor. Aranea notes thatSburb Logo sometime between Earth being relocated and the cherubs being hatched there, other civilizations had risen and fallenSburb Logo.

During Caliborn's entrySburb Logo, the planet entered the Medium with Caliborn and took the role of his planet in the Medium instead of one usually generated by the game. As a part of this transformation, the denizen Yaldabaoth has taken up residence in the core.

Mspalogobeacon

The logo on this safety light looks awfully familiar...

A strange computer connected to a broadcast tower is also located on this Earth, displaying the current act and narration on the page and allows a user to converse with the narrator. During the course of his quest, Caliborn has unlocked many more of these towersSburb Logo

After meeting with Yaldabaoth and making his choice, Caliborn left Earth and headed to the minor planets in his session. Upon conquering all these minor planets, Earth transformed into The Land of Colors and Mayhem. After a trivial act of self-suicide, Caliborn went god tier, found a building in the shape of Lil' Cal's head, where he wrote shitty comics and fought John. Sometime after Act 7, the stuff in Caliborn's masterpiece happened.

TriviaEdit

  • After Calliope was introduced as a cherub, it was revealed she and Caliborn had been on Earth all along by revealing the JPEG-artifacted Statues of Liberty. This is a reference to Planet of the Apes with Andrew Hussie claiming that a Statue of Liberty on a planet "automatically means it was Earth all along, as a rule."Sburb Logo
  • There is a song for post-scratch Earth called Austin, Atlantis.


v·d·eHomestuck locations
Residences
John's house
John's bedroom
Rose's house
Rose's bedroom
Dave's house
Dave's bedroom
Jade's house
Jade's bedroom
Jane's house
Jane's bedroom
Roxy's house
Roxy's bedroom
Dirk's house
Dirk's bedroom
Jake's house
Jake's bedroom

Aradia's hive Tavros's hive Sollux's hive Karkat's hive
Nepeta's hive Kanaya's hive Terezi's hive Vriska's hive
Equius's hive Gamzee's hive Eridan's hive Feferi's hive

Trolls' meteor
Calliope and Caliborn's room
Planets
Land of Wind
and Shade
Land of Light
and Rain
Land of Heat
and Clockwork
Land of Frost
and Frogs
Land of Crypts
and Helium
Land of Pyramids
and Neon
Land of Tombs
and Krypton
Land of Mounds
and Xenon

Land of Quartz
and Melody
Land of Sand
and Zephyr
Land of Brains
and Fire
Land of Pulse
and Haze
Land of Little
Cubes and Tea
Land of Rays
and Frogs
Land of Thought
and Flow
Land of Maps
and Treasure
Land of Caves
and Silence
Land of Tents
and Mirth
Land of Wrath
and Angels
Land of Dew
and Glass

Leprechauns' Planets
Land of Colours
and Mayhem
Incipisphere
SkaiaProspitThe MediumThe VeilEctobiology LabDerseFurthest RingDream bubbles
Future, pre-scratch Earth
Skyship BaseHelipod BaseEggy-Looking BaseBec Head BaseCan Town
Other locations
Alternia (post-Reckoning)
Earth (pre-scratch future, post-scratch future)
Frog TemplePacific IslandSkaianet Laboratory

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