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Hammerkind is John Egbert's main strife specibus, and the first kind abstratus to be seen in Homestuck. It temporarily changes to handlekindHS when one of his hammers breaks.


Claw Hammer[]

Hammer
Cost 2 build grist
Code nZ7Un6BI
Location Found John's room

The claw hammer is John's first weapon. It is located on the floor between his bed and the Magic Chest before he decides he needs it to hang up his Rolled-Up Poster. However, the Nails that are next to the hammer are also needed, leading to John dropping the Fake Arms to make room for them. It can be combined with the Nails to form... the hammer/nails. This can be used to hang up a poster.

Sledgehammer[]

Sledgehammer
Location Found Utility Room

The sledgehammer can be used to smash heavy duty objects and is probably the most powerful weakest hammer before alchemization, as John knocks himself out and breaks the sledgehammer when attempting to Aggrieve a Shale Imp, changing his kind abstratus to handlekind. The broken sledgehammer's handle is long enough to be a weapon in its own right, although it deals little damage, even against a Shale Imp. The broken hammer's head is capable of dealing some damage if ejected from a Sylladex. John's kind abstratus is restored to hammerkind when he repairs the sledgehammer.

Pogo Hammer[]

Pogohammer
Formula Claw Hammer && Green Slime Ghost Pogo
Cost 10 build grist, 16 shale
Code 126GH48G

Early in the game, the Pogo Hammer seems to be a very powerful weapon, able to slay shale imps that have been prototyped once in a single blow. Rhythmically bouncing the hammer back and forth builds up its power, to be released in a burst of green light while attacking. This attack sends both the opponent's items and John flying off. John can also ricochet between two large enemies and fly through the air as a swirling green blur, due to his short stature being encompassed by the length of the hammer.

Wrinklefucker[]

Wrinklefucker
Formula Pogo Hammer || Iron
Cost 55 build grist, 44 shale, 66 tar

The Wrinklefucker seems to be more controlled, and more powerful, than the Pogo Hammer, as John is able to bounce around killing Shale Imps with ease without springing too high into the air, as he did with the pogo hammer. John uses the Wrinklefucker to bounce himself up towards his first gate. Due to the hissing noises it makes and the fact that it is part steam iron, it may deal heat damage as well.

The power of the hammer has its limits, as John tries unsuccessfully to attack a Copper Giclops and a Tar Basilisk with it. Previously, the Wrinklefucker defeated enemies with ease, but against stronger enemies it fails to make much of an impression.

It serves as John's weapon of choice for a great deal of time, although he does dual-wield it with the Pogo Hammer. Ever since he alchemized Fear No Anvil, however, it has been tucked back into John's strife deck.

The steam irons that are mounted on the weapon seem to be two Shark Professional Series Intelligent Electronic Iron, GI490s.

Telescopic Sassacrusher[]

Sassacrusher
Formula Sledgehammer || Sassacre Text && Telescope
Cost 250 shale, 10 tar, 50 mercury

John does not have the strength required to lift the Telescopic Sassacrusher unaided, a problem he fixes by using the Remote Ghost Gauntlets.

It can easily dispose of Crude Ogres, and is used to get rid of at least two in the finale of Homestuck: Act 3.

A Copper Giclops stealsHS the Sassacrusher from John, but absconds after being shot in the eye. This Copper Giclops is seen laterHS, holding the Sassacrusher.

Fear No Anvil[]

Fear No Anvil
Cost 500,000 build grist, 500,000 garnet, 500,000 diamond, 500,000 gold, 1 quartz
Code WIin189Q

Fear No Anvil is a powerful hammer that Hephaestus used. Davesprite gets the code from Hephaestus through "shenanigans" and gives it to JohnHS shortly after returning to the alpha timeline and prototyping himself. Davesprite tells Jadesprite that after he busted into Hephaestus' palace early, he decided to flee because hes hella strong, and so he snapped a quick captcha to get his huge hammers code and then gtfoHS. This suggests that Davesprite alchemizes a Captcharoid Camera in his timeline and uses it to get the Captcha Code for Fear No Anvil.

Its name implies that it may have been Hephaestus' blacksmithing hammer. It appears to have some time-related abilities, including stunning enemies by stopping them in time. The extent of these abilities, however, is not clear. The clock that appears when the enemies are stunned portrays elements of the zodiac (a ram, a bull, a scorpion etc.) and is a clear reference to the trolls. In the Flash page, [S] WakeHS, Aradia Megido freezes Jack Noir in time, and the zodiac clock appears.

It costs 500,000 units each of build grist, garnet, diamond, and gold, and one unit of quartz, and is far too large to wield. John alchemizesHS a smaller version, costing only 5,000 units each of build grist, garnet, diamond, and gold and one quartz. The inclusion of one piece of quartz is explained by the fact that some clocks use a small piece of quartz to keep time by subjecting the crystal to an electric current and measuring its vibrations.

Its name comes from the phrase "fear no evil" (from Psalm 23) implying that it is powerful enough to kill almost anything, as John would have nothing to fear of the enemies he will encounter. Surely enough, it can dispatch a strong enemy like a thrice-prototyped lich with little trouble. However, when the fourth prototyping is completed, even a single imp becomes a threat, withstanding upwards of 50 (normal) hits before finally dying.

The name is an anagram for "LAVA INFERNO".

Its design appears to be themed after the Land of Heat and Clockwork; it consists of cogs, clock hands, and a head of garnet.

The weapon itself is probably a reference to Hephaestus, from whom the weapon was stolen. In Greek myth, Hephaestus was the god of blacksmithing, which further supports the theory of him being Dave's denizen.

The hammer is last seen used against The Condesce in [S] Collide, making her freeze in time for a short while.

Warhammer of Zillyhoo[]

Main article: Warhammer of Zillyhoo
Warhammer of Zillyhoo
Cost 1 zillion zillium
Location Found Uber Bunny's Inventory, Gamzee Makara's jokerkind specibus

In the Act 4 epilogue, a cyborg bunny appeared wielding a miniaturized version of the warhammer, along with three other weapons. John later receives a monstrosified version through a series of shenanigans. By the time he runs out of sopor slime, Gamzee appears to own a full-sized version of the Warhammer, filed in his jokerkind specibus. Later, he is seen holding it, letting Karkat Vantas behold its glory.

It is one of the seven legendary weapons of cherubim folklore and represents its namesake continent. According to the concurrent evidence of a varietyMspa icon of sourcesHS, it was forged in fire by the smiths of Pipplemop and commissioned by the sage Lord of the Wozzinjay Fiefdom in the Realm of the Snargly Fruzmigbubbins.

Pop-a-matic Vrillyhoo Hammer[]

SCORPIOHAMMER

The Pop-a-matic Vrillyhoo Hammer is an incredibly powerful hammer, able to kill the strongest enemy John has directly faced in combat (barring Bec Noir and possibly Typheus) in a single hit, as well as deal damage to Bec Noir. It is first seenHS being held by John on the Land of Heat and Clockwork. The hammer bears Vriska Serket's Scorpio symbol and has the design of Vriska's horns incorporated into it, the handle being one horn and the tip resembling the other.

It was probably alchemized by combining the Fluorite Octet and Warhammer of Zillyhoo, since John possesses the latter and gets the codeHS for the former from Vriska herself. Components of other objects also seem to be visible in the hammer: Vriska's ancestral awakening sword (the blade and handle), Mindfang's diary (the Scorpio symbol), Ahab's Crosshairs (the handle grip), Vriska's Doomsday device (the red hemisphere) and the Fluorite Octet (the dice in the mechanism). It is unknown whether any of these objects and/or any other hammers possessed by John were used in the alchemization, since all of these (except Ahab's Crosshairs [in theory] and other hammers possessed by John) could not be accessed by John between the moment he woke up after his second impaling by Jack Noir (during which Vriska sent him the code for the Octet) and John's arrival at the Beat Mesa. All of the resemblances to these items could just be a result of the Fluorite Octet's connection to them.

Bec Noir finds a memory version of this hammer in a chest in a dream bubble after two years of traveling through the Furthest Ring. John wakes up and attacks him, causing him to let go of the hammer. They then proceeded to fight until Rose Lalonde turns up and distacts Noir. Interestingly, the CLO88ERHS ("clobber") and 8onkHS ("bonk") effects that appear when John fights Jack with this hammer are spelled using Vriska's typing quirk. The weapon is shown to produce an effect very similar to that of the Fluorite Octet when used to hit someone. In fact, it may even have the same moveset. The eight possible moves shown in the roll of John's final die are:

  1. Pony Stampede
  2. T-Rex
  3. Elf
  4. Prank
  5. Rerollx2
  6. McConaughey
  7. Naptime
  8. Ridiculous Hat

After John hits Jack with the hammer, the Fluorite Octet rolls, giving Jack a Ridiculous Hat, with the combination 1-2-3-4-5-6-6-7. (Oddly enough, there isn't an 8 in the sequence, even though ridiculous hat is #8.) Given that "McConaughey" is a joke related more to John than Vriska, there is the possibility that the Vrillyhoo Hammer's Octet may not have the same moveset as the original Fluorite Octet. The similarity of the Warhammer of Zillyhoo to a jester's hat and John's love of pranks may also have an influence on the range of attacks the Vrillyhoo Octet is capable of. John later leaves the memory version behind when he enters another part of the dream bubble, but presumably the actual hammer is still on the battleship.

The hammer's name was revealed in a summary of EOA5 on Tumblr and later in-comicHS. The manner in which John constructed the hammer is not yet known, but given Zillyhoo's cost, it is likely that this hammer was substantially more expensive. It seems to be named for its popping mechanism, the Warhammer of Zillyhoo, and Vriska.

Unknown Problem Sleuth Hammer[]

The product of combiningHS the claw hammer with John's Problem Sleuth game, this hammer was long theorized to be the Warhammer of Zillyhoo. However, since the Warhammer of Zillyhoo has been shown to cost 1 "Zillion" grist, it is probably something elsePS icon (although multiple recipes with different costs are possible, as shown in Jane's fetch modusHS).

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