- For the totally inert deck of cards found in John Egbert's house, see Egbert home#Study.
As with the duality between weapons and objects in Problem Sleuth, the Midnight Crew's inventories all double as a deck of cards. This allows them to carry an entire stock of items in spite of the fact that, in the inverse of the Sleuth's inventory, members of the Midnight Crew can carry five weapons but only one item.
Each card doubles as one individual item, usually in the suit associated with the owner, though they can naturally be swapped around between decks; some items can even be formed from a combination of cards.
Concept and creation[]
The Midnight Crew's card-based item storage evokes the sylladices used by other characters in Homestuck. Each of the gang members' decks' alternate forms is named for and modeled after a form of household storage storage seen elsewhere in the comic; namely a chest, wardrobe/ifier, mausoleum and bathtub, combined with a word relating to the sort of antisocial behaviour the gang are known for.
Bonus update inventory[]
“Hearts Boxcars returns with armloads of COLORFUL NIGERIAN ROBES for you all to wear...”
Prior to their Homestuck debut, the Midnight Crew have used various items never seen assigned to any particular card in their decks.
Colorful Nigerian robes[]
Upon Spades Slick's discovering that the name Midnight Crew had mostly commonly been associated with a Nigerian gospel music group, Hearts Boxcars retrieved a set of colorful matching boubou for the Crew to wear. Diamonds Droog, disapproving of the fashion choice for them, gave him a good drubbing with his ultra-violence cuestick in response.
Likely by coincidence, the green-and-rainbow fabric of these robes bears some resemblance to Lord English's signature coat.
War chest[]
Spades Slick's deck of cards transforms into the war chest, with a heist map and itinerary of the members of the Felt he plans to kill taped to the inside of the lid.
Cast iron horse hitcher[]
| Card | Ace of spades |
- “Slick: Ride around on horse hitcher pretending to joust.”
The ace of spades[citation needed] is the cast iron horse hitcher, Slick's weapon of choice kept in his first weapon slot. Slick has also been known to pretend it's a real horse and ride it around like a toy pony, sometimes even to deadly effect.
After being tripped, Itchy fell quickly to this mighty club. Slick later attempts to use it on Doc Scratch, with little success, the first guardian effortlessly bending it into a useless lump in response. The new pretzeled horse hitcher later appears to Meenah Peixes in a chest in the dream bubbles, who can use it to gain the submission of horse enthusiast Andrew Hussie.[citation needed]
Occam's Razor[]
| Card | King of spades |
Slick throws this small razor at Crowbar, but he deflects it and it hits Sawbuck, turning into the king of spades card . The card stays lodged in Sawbuck.
Double Edged Sword[]
| Card | Eight of spades |
Slick's second favorite weapon, naturally kept in his second weapon slot. The double-edged sword is true to its name in deadliness, able to slay three opponents at once.
Bait and Switchblade[]
| Card | Seven of spades |
A switchblade kept in Slick's third weapon slot.
Saber Rattle[]
| Card | Four of spades |
A weapon kept in Slick's fourth weapon slot.
Licorice scotty dogs[]
| Card | Deuce of spades |
Slick's prized possession, these two dogs are Slick's signature candy much like Problem Sleuth's candy corn.
Spades Key[]
| Card | Rules card for Blackjack |
This card was seemingly intended to open Karkat Vantas's base, but was rendered useless when Snowman shot a hole through the middle.
Battledrobe[]
Clubs Deuce's deck of cards is the battledrobe.
Crook of Felony[]
| Card | Ace of clubs |
Deuce's weapon of choice, kept in his first weapon slot.
Bull penis cane[]
| Card | Six of clubs |
- “You flip the fuck out over the fact that this is apparently a BULL PENIS CANE.”
The bull penis cane is one of Clubs' weapons. He flips out when he discovers what a nonsensical item he has been using. As much as it might sound like an outrageous item in keeping with the fantastical MS Paint Adventures style, taxidermied bull penis canes exist in the real world. [citation needed]
Golf club[]
| Card | Ten of clubs |
A golf club kept in Deuce's second weapon slot.
Billy club[]
| Card | Deuce of clubs[citation needed] |
A club like those used in law enforcement and kept in Deuce's third weapon slot;[citation needed] this and the licorice gummy bears (see below) are both called the Deuce of Clubs, likely in error.
Licorice gummy bears[]
| Card | Deuce of clubs
|
Deuce's associated candy.
Demolition C4[]
| Card | Seven of spades |
When Deuce puts this C4 under his hat, Fin avoids shooting him in fear of an explosion; Stitch, on the other hand, is well aware of its properties and has no such qualms.
Backup hat[]
| Card | Jack of diamonds |
Like most of the Midnight Crew, Deuce keeps a back-up hat with him at all times.
Brawlsoleum[]
Diamonds Droog's deck of cards is the brawlsoleum, the door of which he hangs his white ties on, with a black velvet curtain concealing the rest of the interior.
Ultra-Violence Cuestick[]
| Card | Ace of diamonds |
Droog's weapon of choice, and naturally innocuous double of the ace of diamonds, kept in hisfirst weapon slot. Its title also reflects his short temper, as Diamonds is known to lash out at his teammates for no particular reason. The term "ultra-violence" is also a reference to a common phrase from A Clockwork Orange, the book which Diamonds' name is somewhat inspired by.
Guns[]
Droog keeps many guns in his possession.
Radio[]
| Card | Four of diamonds; ten of spades |
All members of the Crew, including Droog, use these to communicate, retrieved by combining the ten and four cards (an obvious play on 10-4, code used by radio operators to signal an 'okay').
Swedish fish[]
| Card | Deuce of diamonds |
Droog's associated candy.
Wrathtub[]
Hearts Boxcars's deck of cards is the wrathtub.
TV antenna[]
| Card | Ace of hearts |
Boxcars' weapon of choice, kept in his first weapon slot.
Huge mace[]
| Card | King of hearts |
A huge weapon kept in Boxcars' fifth weapon slot.
Wax lips[]
| Card | Deuce of hearts |
Boxcars' associated candy.
Axes[]
In addition to his primary weapons, Boxcars keeps a wide variety of deadly axes.
Other cards[]
Items belonging to members of the Felt, and potentially other characters beyond the Midnight Crew, can in the Crew's possession become cards beyond the four-suit, 52-card deck familiar to players of Earth card games.
| Card | Thirteen of stars |
Biscuits' signature oven juju, for example, becomes a card matching Biscuits' hat number, and bearing a symbol with significance in his culture.