Car

Cars are free standing land vehicles used on Earth, Alternia and in the imaginary universe.

In Problem Sleuth

“You gaze abstractedly at the commotion below.”

Various cars and trucks can be found on the Imaginary City Streets, with one of these even featuring on Problem Sleuth's unlockable title screen.^{[citation needed]} Given their imaginary nature, it might be assumed that they are useless nonentities like other inhabitants of the Imaginary City; at least some of the vehicles found in this universe, however, are fully functional, including a fleet of cabs.

“Hysterical Dame and Nervous Broad ride in”.

In return for their help liberating them from Mobster Kingpin's evil clutches, the workers of the Sleazy Brothel in the Sky gifted the Hysterical Dame and Nervous Broad with an automobile to ride off in. In fitting with the Brothel's location and the imaginary world's other flying vehicles, this car was capable of flight. HD and NB transported Team Sleuth back to their offices in this car when the fight was over. Many flying automobiles could also be found flying over the four kingdoms.

Delivery trucks

A square-shouldered Cheese Truck.

A wide, flat Ham Truck.

A tall, thin Bread Truck.

Food is delivered throughout the City's Downtown Districts in trucks of varying shapes, which limit where in the city they can travel. The tall, thin Bread Truck transports bread from the Boulangère District through Beanpole Alley to the Fromagère District, a square Cheese Truck delivers from Fromagère to the Bouchère District through Square Shoulder Tolls - where “a stiff DAIRY TAX is levied on local distributors” - and a flat Ham Truck can pass between the Bouchère District and the Gutterpipe Projects via Jack Squat Underpass.

The cabins at the back of these trucks double as windows into the private booths of Madame Murel's Sleazy Brothel. These coin-operated windows presumably shut off when the paid time is up; however Andrew Hussie's book commentary suggests "when it's [the Bread Truck] making deliveries, they just stick a bunch of loaves in the peep show booth, where they coexist with a sexy provocateur who goes about removing pain from the wall in a sultry manner." Because of the differing sizes of these trucks and the windows on the back, the dimensions of anything passed through them will be warped; while exiting the back of the Ham Truck will increase an object's width relative to its height, traveling through the Bread Truck window will have the opposite effect.

In Homestuck and Hiveswap

John Egbert's Dad owns a car whose keys suggest is a General Motors car.

On John's thirteenth birthday, John's Dad placed John's gifts - his copies of Sburb and Jade Harley's version of the bunny - inside and locked the car, forcing John on a quest to recover the loot. When John's server player Rose Lalonde attempted to move the car closer to assist in this quest, a disconnect in her internet connection caused her to drop it into the Land of Wind and Shade's yawning abyss. Though Jade predicted this sequence of events, she also knew he would get his gift “when he really needs it”.

On LOWAS' surface, an Authority Regulator identified it as illegally parked and removed the items inside.

John's Dad's wallet contained a spare second car, along with a large supply of shaving cream. According to Andrew Hussie on Formspring, the car's trunk also contains vast storage of shaving cream.

On Alternia

Trolls are more familiar with a vehicle known as a “SCUTTLEBUGGY”.

In The Homestuck Epilogues and Homestuck: Beyond Canon (Dubiously Canon)

On Earth C

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Rocket-powered flying cars were among the vehicles available on Earth C, possibly produced by the same company responsible for the planet's flying battleships.