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Bard Quest

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Adv bardquest

Bard Quest is the second MS Paint Adventure, and essentially the flagship story, as the site went up simultaneously with Bard Quest. The story follows a bard on his eponymous quest. It is by far the shortest adventure, and languishes permanently in an unresolved state.

The gimmick which makes Bard Quest most unique from the other stories (and which also lead to its failure) is that it is a “choose your own adventure” (CYOA) story, meaning any page can have multiple options to take. In comparison, Jailbreak features two linear split paths which recombined, Problem Sleuth occasionally features one-or-two-panel alternate options which would typically get a protagonist killed, and Homestuck stays linear until late in Act 5 and throughout Act 6, where occasionally multiple paths present themselves, and loop back so they can all be read before proceeding linearly again.

Bard Quest ran from June 12 to July 05, 2007. Afterward, the MSPA site gathered dust for several months until the next adventure, Problem Sleuth, began on March 10 of the following year. Bard Quest is the least popular of all the stories, and the one most likely to remain uncompleted.

PlotEdit

Bardquest map

Map of all branching paths.

A thrilling journey begins in humble circumstances as a bard is brought before a bored and grumpy kingMspa icon for his amusement. The only option that bares meaningful results is to sing about the queen. The king, it turns out, is a homosexual, but the double entendre of “queen” amuses the king. The bard is thus appointed as the kingdom's head dragon slayer.Mspa icon

Down one abstract path of choiceMspa icon, the bard decides to visit the blacksmith. He may ask for armor of +5 Pulchritude, but does not have enough golds to afford it. He may ask for +5 extra large dragon corpse satchels, but the blacksmith detects his natural talent for dragon slaying and gives him ten on the house.Mspa icon And finally, he may ask for +5 issues of the finest gay porn magazines, but homosexuality is outlawed.Mspa icon

Otherwise, the bard decides to visit Cod Palace, where he finds the “Hull of the Flagship”Mspa icon. His only option (NOT REALLYMspa icon) is to steal the thing and make off with it. In the back alleysMspa icon, the now codpiece-adorned bard finds two vagrants who quickly swear themselves to his (codpiece's) majesty.

These new manservants are a little codpiece-barren, but there's no good way of acquiring someMspa icon without putting an abrupt end to their adventure. So instead they just head out into the wilderness.Mspa icon Here the arms of opportunity seem to expand wider than ever, but tragically each path ends no further than two or three pages. The heroes are eternally stuck in the swamp of mysteryMspa icon, forever yet to encounter a swamp wizard.

TriviaEdit

00221
  • Bard Quest shares its name with one of Andrew's early comics.
  • Numerical data about Bard Quest is maintained here.
  • Bard Quest is technically 82 pages along, but this is only because, bizarrely, the number sequence skips from 136Mspa icon to 171Mspa icon between the first two pages of the story.
  • Bard Quest makes one last appearance in the story of Problem Sleuth. While Ace Dick is playing the Game of Life he ends up trudging through a swamp, the last meaningful panel of Bard Quest visible in the background.Mspa icon Incidentally, he makes it to the suicide stump from Jailbreak on the next page.
God Tier Gamzee

Gamzee Makara in his fake god tier Bard of Rage outfit, with a codpiece referencing Bard Quest

  • Bards that appear in future adventures take visual cues from the bard of this quest.
    • The Clown Bard that appears in Problem Sleuth sports a feather-adorned cap and a lute much like the bard's own accoutrements.
    • Bards in Homestuck who ascend to the god tiers sport a codpiece as part of their god tier outfit.


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